A memory shared, a connection forged
by Bebus
Summary: Liara shares a dream with the Spectre keeping her hostage. Will Faith Shepard trust the daughter of the enemy? Mass Effect, as Liara would see it. Rated M for language, adult themes and violence.
1. A Dream

_Terror. _

_Blinding, brain numbing terror. _

_Smoke burning her nostrils, the scent of burning flesh making her empty stomach growl obscenely._

_Feet, slipping in the mud. Not mud, the charred remains of a person._

_Home, need to get home._

_Another body, this one unburned. The red dress her mother was wearing this morning, pushed up around her waist. Her chest a ruined mess. A monster, dead beside her, an axe embedded in its back. A third body, his head completely missing, the remains of his neck torn to shreds. This body wearing her father's silly cowboy boots._

The scene shifted, before she heard voices through what she knew was the dark of night. They all merged into one.

'_What a mess.' _

'_They'll pay for this.' _

'_Another one over here.' _

'_Hey, somebody killed one of the fucks, axe right in the back. Good for them'_

'_I see something over there... my god, there's a girl here! Alive! Call the medics!'_

'_She's covered in blood!'_

'_Hey, kid, are you ok?'_

'_Look at her hands!'_

'_Kid, did they hurt you?'_

'_Are they graves?'_

'_Shut up! Hey, can you hear me?'_

'_My god, Sarge, these are shallow graves! There's bodies in them! Human bodies!'_

'_I said shut up!'_

'_Look at her hands, she must have-'_

'_Shut the hell up soldier! Listen, what's your name?'_

* * *

Liara awoke with a start. She was drenched in sweat, heart pounding, and fell out of the bed before crawling for the corner of the room to hide. It took her a few seconds to realise where she was. A ship. A human ship, the Normandy. It had been four days since she linked her mind with that of the human SPECTRE, four days of waking up like this. The memories were not hers. She had made the offer to gain the human's trust: as respectfully as most of the crew treated her, as free as she was to roam the ship, she had no illusions that she was anything but a prisoner. It had apparently not worked; she had not seen the SPECTRE since.

She spent most of her time in the tiny lab behind the medical bay. Meals were brought to her by either the kindly doctor with the grey hair, or the human male with what she recognised as an Asari made biotic implant in the back of his neck. They always stayed while she ate and made conversation. Her shyness meant that most of the time they simply talked at her before taking the remains of her meal back to the mess, leaving her with the extranet connected console on the desk, and her thoughts.

She had tried leaving the lab on the first day; past the doctor who smiled encouragingly at her, past the mess where a curious mixture of species were listening to the man who brought her meals tell a story about somebody charging a Thresher Maw on foot. She was about to get into the elevator to explore the engine room when a large, dark haired human female accompanied by two males came down the stairs. She had looked at her, smirked, and made a comment about "the Asari who had 'mind-raped' the Commander". She did not recognise the human phrase, but after a second her translator offered "shiltaan", the terrifying process Ardat-Yakshi used to kill their victims. She fled back to the lab, tears in her eyes, before deciding that it was safer to stay put until the SPECTRE decided what to do with her.

Liara was wondering what to do with her day. She supposed she should find out what humans did to clean themselves and subject herself to it; there were basic facilities in the lab but four days without a thorough wash had left her feeling rather unpleasant. Rather than embarrass herself with such a stupid question to the doctor, she booted up the terminal on the desk. She was wondering what she could enter without the console producing indecent images, when her door let out a soft ring. She hoped it was the male bringing her breakfast. She had, of course, encountered gendered species but none were so aesthetically similar to Asari. A person with a body and facial features so like her own but with the curves, hardness and features in very different places was somehow more _alien _than the radically different Turians or Salarians could ever be, and the scientist in her loved comparing, contrasting and trying to figure out reasons for the differences. Humans in general fascinated her; the similarity of their physiology had even led to their expressions, their unspoken gestures like smiling, or shaking their head, being nearly identical.

_I should have been a xenologist..._

She was about to stand to open the door but was surprised when the SPECTRE entered before she had even pushed the chair back. It was common courtesy for the occupant of a room to at least call out an answer to a ping at the door, but the curious mixture of the blunt arrogance of entering uninvited and politeness in announcing her presence was carried with surprising grace by the figure walking towards her. A tray was placed in front of her. The unappetising, unpleasant, cold foodstuff of human military rations was balanced by what she recognised as the juice of a human fruit called "orange", almost identical in taste to her favourite Thessian fruit. She noticed another tray with identical contents still in the SPECTRE's hand, and without a word she sat down beside her and took a sip of the juice.

"Please, eat" The words were not an order, not a suggestion. They just were, and Liara felt compelled to follow them.

They finished their meals in silence. Liara kept looking at the human from the corner of her eye. That a species so visually similar to Asari could evolve thousands of light years from Thessia was still a marvel to her. The differences were there: human skin was smooth, unlike the gentle scaling of Asari. Their skin colour varied fantastically; she had seen humans on the extranet with skin the colour of the darkest night, or white as polished bone. Their hair was even more interesting. As far as she knew the only other sapient race bearing it were the Quarians, so she had never actually seen it on anything other than animals. She was about to examine the SPECTRE's eyes, when she realised they were looking right at her. She quickly looked down into her food, and continued to keep her eyes down until she had finished. The eyes that had surprised her were dark brown, almost black; the same as the hair that was tied into a knot where a crest would normally sweep back. The eyes frightened the Asari. The way she looked at Liara made her feel as though she could be pulled into them, like a black hole. They were terrifying, and beautiful.

* * *

When Faith Shepard caught the Asari staring at her, she had to resist smiling at the widening of the bright blue eyes, tightening of the shoulders and how extremely interesting her breakfast had suddenly become. Life in the military meant it had been a long time since she had met anybody who was so obviously and openly shy. Even the young Quarian giving Adams incentive to work for his keep had steel running through her; the hand wringing when conversing did not diminish her quick thinking and decisive action when Fist's agents set on her.

Her thoughts darkened as she remembered why she had come here. After picking up the terrified, exhausted scientist who had passed out nearly as soon as the stasis field was deactivated, Doctor Chakwas had cleaned her up and prescribed at least a day of rest. The Asari had handled the news of her mother's involvement in Saren's actions surprisingly well; reacting with anger at the suggestion, followed by horror when the recording was played to her. She quietly offered that she had not heard from her mother for years, a statement somewhat supported by the state and manner in which they had found her.

When she had learned that the Commander had interacted with a Prothean Beacon, and was unsure of what the vision meant, she offered to help her make sense of it. Shepard agreed, much to the dismay of most of her human crew. The joining itself had been a curiously painless reliving of the beacon, and a separation of her memories of Mindoir the images had dug up and intertwined with. Afterwards, she felt better than she had since Eden Prime but the Asari looked like she was going to be sick. Realising that she had probably seen the things that had haunted her since the age of 16, she sent the Asari to the med bay and spent the next few days in a state far too near to nervousness than she cared to admit. They were old and violent memories, but they were _hers_. Keeping busy by refusing the Council when they demanded she send Liara in for "interrogation", slaying a Thresher Maw that had wiped out an Alliance squad and rooting out a slaver ring they happened across when following rumours of Geth activity, Shepard woke up that morning with the decision that the issue was no longer to be avoided, and would be best tackled head on.

Liara finally finished eating, and drank the rest of her juice with a small smile that reminded her of better times.

'When we joined minds, did you see the same thing I did?'

Liara froze, and for a second contemplated lying. She decided otherwise.

'Yes. I saw flashes of the Prothean vision, and... what I believe are memories from your childhood. I am so sor-'

'Don't.' The pure, raw, emotion in the human's voice surprised Liara. She had never heard anything but cold professionalism from her before. 'What you saw was something I swore that nobody else would have to go through. That you lived it because of me... I am the one who should be apologising.'

This was not how she expected the meeting to go. She had expected to have to work the truth out of the scientist, maybe even threaten her to keep it to herself. When she saw the telltale signs of disturbed sleep, the open concern in her eyes and the way she had tried to apologise to _her, _Shepard felt an unwelcome anger rising, mostly directed at herself. She had joined the Alliance so nobody else would wake up with memories of their home burning, and now she had inflicted it on somebody whose only reaction was to apologise?

How could she make this right?

'The Normandy will be docking at the Citadel in five hours. The Council _suggested_ you be handed over to them for interrogation. I refused.'

'You... refused? Why?' The inflection in the human's tone was unusual and Liara suspected what the Council had extended was more than a suggestion.

'Because I don't think you had any knowledge of or part in your mother's actions. The Council wasn't impressed by my decision, but one of the advantages of being a SPECTRE is that there is no chain of command: my decision is final.'

'You do not think I am guilty?'

'No.' There was no explanation, no hesitation, no room for doubt in the statement.

'Then, what is my fate?'

'If you wish, you can leave the Normandy on the Citadel. I will inform C-Sec that you are to be allowed passage without official harassment on any journey you should wish to take from there, and I will continue my mission.'

The notion filled Liara with something akin to worry.

'SPECTRE, I do not have anywhere to go.' This was not strictly true; the university still paid what bills she had and she owned a small property near the main campus... but she could not simply go back to that life after being attacked on Therum, after learning what her mother had done.

Shepard heard the subtext. She understood.

'I had another idea, if you want to hear it.' A small nod, her crest staying rigid where a human's hair may have bobbed with the motion. 'Your area of expertise has an obvious relevance to my mission. You no doubt have a personal stake in the outcome, given your mother's involvement. If you wish, you can remain onboard indefinitely.'

'I would not wish to be a burden, SPECTRE.'

'Would you be a burden?'

'I...' A look came into her eyes. A look any warrior would recognise. 'No. As you said, I am in a position to provide you with unique information and perspective on your mission. Also...'

Shepard certainly recognised the look, and leant forward attentively. Perhaps she was mistaken about the gentle, unassuming scientist.

'I am not unskilled with combat biotics and have trained with my mother's Commando unit for some time. If you are willing, I can accompany your ground team if you need my support.'

That was all she needed. Shepard stood up, and extended her hand. This was one gesture that did not carry across their species, but Liara quickly recognised what she wanted. She rose and took the human's hand. It was very warm; Asari were warm blooded but much of their heat was vented through the crest and tendrils on their head rather than directly through the skin. The sensation was certainly not unpleasant.

'Welcome aboard, Doctor T'Soni.'

'Thank you, SPECTRE Shepard.'

For the first time in longer than she cared to admit, Shepard smiled. 'Please, don't call me that. It's just Shepard for non-Alliance crew, or Commander if you insist on titles. I don't plan on staying on the Citadel for long but if you want to stretch your legs you can come with me. Alenko will be joining us. We have some time before we arrive, you can take a shower and get some fresh clothes from Doctor Chakwas. Most of our female uniforms should fit you. You can also head down to the hold afterwards. I'll tell Williams to expect you in the armoury; she can fit you with some combat gear.'

Shepard turned around and started walking towards the door.

'SPE- Shepard?'

She stopped before reaching the door, turned around and looked at Liara. Deep brown eyes met brilliant blue, and Liara forced herself not to look away.

'Yes?'

'What I saw... I _am_ sorry. I did not intend to intrude on such a personal memory. You have my word that none of your crew, nor anybody else should I live my full lifespan, will hear of it.'

Shepard turned back towards the door, and her response was far more gentle than expected.

'Thank you, Liara.'

She left the room without looking back.

Liara tried to relax. The meeting with the Commander had set her on edge in more ways than one. Not only had her fight or flight response tightened every muscle in her body at the presence of such an obvious predator, she was still reeling from the weightlessness she felt looking into the human's eyes. She would not admit to herself what the uncomfortable tingling at the back of her head meant.

She sat down again, and typed the word 'shower' into the extranet search bar.

* * *

**A/N: **_Thank you for reading. This is my very first piece of writing, and as such a__ny and all feedback is appreciated on any aspect._

_I hope you enjoy the rest of my story._


	2. Fitting in

The shower was not as pleasant as it sounded online. The terminal had implied she would be subject to a stream of water, not unlike how Asari cleaned themselves, but Doctor Chakwas explained that a full water shower on board a military vessel was a resource-heavy luxury reserved for officers, and that on board the small frigate only the Commander had one. Instead she was buffered by weak mass effect fields designed to break up mess accumulated during combat, followed by an all too quick spray of water to remove the dirt and a final high pressure jet of warm air. It left her feeling clean but not particularly relaxed.

She quickly dressed herself in a uniform similar to that worn by the medic, and walked straight into the human biotic as he passed by the washroom.

'Oh, I am sorry Lieutenant Alenko!'

'Hey Dr T'Soni, I said before, call me Kaidan.'

'Very well, Kaidan. I am afraid I have been rather rude for the last few days when you have shown me nothing but respect. You may call me Liara, if you wish.'

'I'll do that Liara. Are you looking to get anywhere in particular? You've been locked up in that lab for so long I doubt you've even had a tour of the ship.'

'If it would be no trouble, I am looking to find the armoury. Commander Shepard told me to report to somebody named Williams to be fitted for combat equipment.'

'Ah yeah, Shepard mentioned you might be coming along with us. I'll take you down there right now, I'm off duty.'

Kaidan led them to an elevator, and they both stepped inside.

'Just a word of warning: Ash isn't particularly happy about having aliens on board a human ship, but don't back down if she starts something. She might mouth off a bit but if you tell her to shut up she's not going to risk angering the Commander.'

Liara could understand that. She knew that there were some ships that had multi-racial crews, but very few of these were military vessels. Soldiers of all races were notorious for wanting to "keep with their own". It was necessary when most combat involved killing other species.

'Thank you for the warning, Kaidan. I am surprised that Commander Shepard has so many aliens on board in the first place. Is this not a human military operation?'

'Not quite. The ship and her operations crew is Alliance, but Shepard is putting together a multi-species team of specialists to spearhead the mission. She told me that as a SPECTRE she is expected to act for the benefit of the whole Galaxy, not just humanity, and the first step towards that would be having the crew work with aliens.'

'If I could be so bold as to make such a presumption, it seems you do not harbour any resentment to these orders.'

'That's true. As one of the first human biotics I was exposed to a lot of alien teachers as a child so this isn't as new to me as it is others. I realised pretty early on that aliens are just people, saints and villains, just like humans. On the other hand, someone like Ash has been stationed on our colonies for most of her life. She hasn't come into contact with many aliens, and most of those have been pirates or black market traders. I think she's a good person, she just hasn't seen enough of the Galaxy to get over her preconceptions. I'm hoping time on the Normandy will help her see that most of us are happy to just bump along.'

'You are very open minded, Kaidan. Your viewpoint is similar to that the Asari preach.'

'Heh, thanks. I did have a couple of Asari teachers, maybe some of their lessons got through. Truth be told, you're the luckiest non-human on the ship at the moment. The Commander did a bit of research and it seems for the most part our facilities will work for you. You should have seen when the Krogan, Wrex tried to clean himself. It... wasn't pleasant.'

'...'

'...'

'... I can imagine.'

* * *

Ashley looked up when she heard the elevator door open. The Skipper had sent her a message saying that the Asari would be coming down for combat fitting, so she wasn't surprised when Kaidan started orbiting the room with the girl in tow. It was clear he was introducing her to the other aliens who had taken up residence in the hold. Ashley was not looking forward to the fitting; she had made a (admittedly bad-taste) joke to the Asari last time she saw her and the girl had nearly burst into tears. She wasn't even trying to be rude that time. Shepard had been clear that the aliens were here to stay so she was on best behaviour. Maybe it offended her culture, or it could be that the girl looked like she was barely out of her teens. What was Shepard thinking dragging a kid scientist out with them?

Kaidan finally reached her.

'Hey Chief. This is Dr Liara T'Soni, she needs some gear for combat.

'Liara, this is Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. She looks scary but she's a kitten really.'

'Screw you, LT.'

'Screw you LT...?'

'Screw you LT, sir.'

'That's better. Play nice Ash, Liara's new on a military ship so might need walking through some of the human kit.'

'Aye aye, sir.'

Kaidan wandered off, leaving her with the frankly terrified looking scientist. To her surprise, the doctor was the first to speak. Her voice was stronger than her current appearance suggested.

'Hello, Gunnery Chief Williams. Commander Shepard asked me to report to you for fitting.' She was surprised to see the Asari had proffered a hand. Ashley took it and had to repress a shiver at how strange the cool skin felt.

'Hey. Let's get this over with. We have a few suits of armour that should fit you with a little adjustment, you seem to be the same shape as us.'

It was true enough. The Asari was wearing a very tight fitting uniform that gave a _very _clear view of how her body was put together. It would be far quicker to sort her out than the other aliens.

'So, we identify our armour by three categories. Light, Medium and Heavy. Fairly self-explanatory, what do you want?'

'Light armour please, Gunnery Chief Williams. Most Asari commandos wear flexible leather armour with reinforced plates, do you have something similar?'

Ashley was surprised. Not by the Light armour; the girl looked like she would collapse under anything heavier, but she sounded very sure of herself.

'How much combat experience do you have, exactly?'

'Very little I am afraid. I have not fought in any pitched battles before and most of my fighting has been beating ill-equipped scavengers away from my dig sites. However, I trained for twenty years with my mother's commando unit and I believe the training will be useful on your current mission.'

'Twenty years?' Ashley could not help but let her disbelief slip into her voice; she didn't even look that old.

'That is correct. As I said, my experience is limited but-'

'Hey, hold up. How old are you exactly?'

Liara looked embarrassed. 'I am only one hundred and six.'

Ashley was left gaping. She knew some aliens lived longer than humans, but the way she said it...

'How old can you people get?'

'Asari who live their full lifespan often live more than one thousand years. Most of us do not reach the age to die naturally however; our long lifespan means there are usually one too many dangerous situations that lead to our death. Even our oldest Matriarchs often choose to commit themselves to the deep of the oceans, before facing the prospect of the ravages that come with extreme age.'

_Life is full of little surprises._

'Well, damn, I hope I look as good as you at your age.'

Ashley thought the girl turned a deeper shade of blue at that, but it was hard to tell.

'Ok, it seems you know what you want. And it seems you've trained longer than any of us other than the big guy over there' She gestured towards the huge Krogan who looked like he wanted to murder something. 'so I'm not going to argue.'

She pulled the suit of 20th century design camouflage pattered Scorpion Light armour from the locker, the kit Shepard had "liberated" from the smugglers on Eden Prime. It was the nicest piece of armour they had on board but it would not fit anybody but the Commander, and _she_ preferred something heavier. Ashley idly wondered who the piece was meant for in the first place, it was obviously a special order, most likely from funds meant for the colony. Probably her old Commander. Her old, dead Commander.

'This should do the trick. It isn't leather and the pattern is near enough useless these days with the tech we use, but it has a heavy weave with light plates, like you asked for. It'll keep you safe enough in a vacuum though if I were you I would wear something heavier should it come to that; it won't be pleasant. We can colour it if you prefer something less flashy.'

'That looks wonderful, Gunnery Chief Williams, you do not need to worry about aesthetics for me. Thank you for the offer' The girl _(not girl, she is nearly 5 times your age) _smiled pleasantly.

Ashley found herself feeling uncomfortable. She had heard that most Asari were strippers and whores, but the girl in front of her was not acting like that. The suit she was wearing was almost scandalously tight but that was hardly her fault; it was obviously a spare crew uniform. When she had talked about fighting her expression went blank, but otherwise she had the kind of innocent look her younger sisters did; she couldn't imagine the girl waving her ass on a stage. Maybe they only did that when they were older, she _did_ look like a kid after all.

She cleared her throat. 'No worries doc. I'll need to measure you to adjust the plating, arms up.'

The measuring did not take long, and the armour would only need minor adjustments. Except...

'Erm, you'll need a helmet, but I don't think we have anything that will fit your... tentacle... things...' _God this is awkward, I should have listened during the alien lessons in basic... _'Maybe you could pick up an Asari helmet on the Citadel.'

'Oh, you mean my crest?'

'Maybe?' She pointed at the scientist's head 'whatever you call those.'

'That will not be a problem, Gunnery Chief Williams.'

The Asari closed her eyes in concentration and brought her hands to her head, running them back like a human would to tame unruly hair. When she removed them and opened her eyes, Ashley was surprised to see that the tentacles were now flush against her head.

'Our crests have a degree of flexibility. Like this I believe I will fit a human helmet. I can keep my crest like this for about ten hours before I experience difficulties with excess body heat, less if we are on a warm planet.'

_Yeah, I definitely regret eyeing up the teacher during xenobiology._

'Right, fair enough. Also, let me take a look...' She took the girl's hand. 'Oh thank God, you have human fingers. We've had to buy all kinds of weird gun mods so they fit the other aliens. I have no idea how they can even hold things with only two huge fingers but they seem to do alright, but they need special grips with huge triggers for their guns.' She decided to try again, if the Commander said play nice...

'I don't know whether to feel sorry for their women, or jealous!'

Liara looked totally baffled.

_Missed again Williams, she really is oblivious..._

'I do not understand.'

'Never mind doc.'

This obviously wasn't going anywhere. This was the problem with aliens: she didn't hate them like some of the soldiers she used to serve with but it was obvious we all have our own customs, our own jokes, our own everything. Trying to force everyone together like this was asking for trouble.

'Alright, a couple more things. First, do you need a shield generator for your armour? I know enough about Asari fighters to know some of you prefer to use biotics for defence. It seems a little weird to me when there is a perfectly good piece of tech which does the same thing, but the offer's there.'

She seemed to consider this before answering. 'I would prefer to take one with me, at least to begin with. I can protect myself with biotics but as I said I have not fought with soldiers before so I would prefer not to take any unnecessary risks. We use our biotics in this manner because they also provide protection against less conventional attacks, such as enemy biotics, and keeping a barrier up allows for faster deployment of our offensive abilities.' She let out what looked like a shy smile, the kind her sisters would use when they were sharing stories they shouldn't be. 'My instructor said it was like the difference between leaving an engine running and having to activate it every time you wanted to use it.'

Ashley was feeling more and more uncomfortable. She wasn't sure what it was about the Asari, but she wanted to be done. At least the Krogan just grunted and shot things, and the Quarian kept to herself.

'Riight. Finally, what kind of weapons do you want? We've got pistols, rifles, shotguns, sniper rifles, SMGs, grenade launchers; you name it we've got it.'

'I would prefer something light. I am not a poor shot but my biotics mean I need to be able to hold the weapon with one hand.'

'Just like the LT. I've got just the thing. Standard issue M-3 Predator pistol, I'll fit a pointer and a scope on for you. You won't be stopping any charging Krogan or winning a sniper fight, but it's light, got a good rate of fire and useful in more situations than people give it credit for if you can think outside the box.

You can also take one of these babies, just in on special order. Prototype M-9 Tempest submachine gun. I'm tempted to carry one myself but I'm more of a heavy rifle girl. It's only really any good at close range, but point this at an enemy, pull the trigger, hold on for dear life and you'll turn him and whatever he's hiding behind into swiss cheese. Nearly 1000 rounds per minute, with a heavier calibre than you'd think for such a little thing. You'll overheat after 10 seconds though so don't go too mad. It kicks like a drugged up Turian and you look pretty flimsy so I'll add a stability mod for you.'

'Thank you, Gunnery Chief Williams. You are too kind.'

That was starting to grate. She couldn't put her finger on exactly what was wrong with the Asari, but everything she said just put her on edge. 'Don't say "Gunnery Chief Williams" all the time, it's one hell of a mouthful and a pain in the ass to hear over and over. Chief will do fine.'

* * *

Liara could not decide what to make of the woman in front of her. When she was talking about the guns she had gotten strangely excited, otherwise her expression shifted between awkward discomfort to badly disguised contempt. She tried to keep Lieutenant Alenko's words in mind, but the image of a simple xenophobe did not fit with the woman in front of her. She looked genuinely uncomfortable rather than hostile, and Liara realised the woman was most likely scared by her own ignorance about other species. She had clearly never met aliens in a personal manner, and was not sure how to interact.

The woman was very intimidating: at least as tall and wide as Kaidan but unlike him, she had a hard look in her eyes. Trying to be friendly was apparently not helping; she knew her species had a very colourful reputation and she was working hard not to offend, but every time she offered something, verbal or otherwise, it just made the woman more uncomfortable. Perhaps she just needed more time to adjust; as Kaidan said this was all very new for her.

'I will do as you ask. Is that all for now, Chief Williams?'

'For now, doc. I'll get the armour fitted for you while you are on the Citadel, and your weapons will be ready when you need them. You'll also need a briefing on the tactics we use on the ground but it looks like we're nearly at the Citadel so it'll have to wait. Maybe Shepard or Alenko can fill you in while you're out, that's more an officer thing anyway.'

The meaning behind that was obvious.

'Thank you very much for your time, Chief Williams.'

'No sweat, I'll see you around'

_These human sayings are very strange, I wonder if there is a translator app for them?_

Checking her omni-tool, she saw that Chief Williams was right, they would be docked shortly. The fitting had taken longer than she expected; she had hoped to speak with Shepard privately before they left. As if on cue, the SPECRTE's voice rang throughout the ship.

_**We'll be docking at the Citadel in fifteen minutes. We won't be staying any longer than necessary so there is no leave permitted. Lieutenant Alenko and Doctor T'Soni, report to the airlock in ten minutes, civilian clothing.**_

* * *

_**A/N:** This chapter flowed a lot faster than the previous; not a lot happens but I hope it is enjoyable to read how I imagine the characters think & act without Shepard around. One of the things I liked about Mass Effect 3 over the previous games were the conversations between crew members you could "walk in on"; it was nice to feel they had actual bonds to each other rather than relying on Shepard to talk to them all. __I am more pleased with the perspectives in this chapter, it felt like I was jumping around far less this time and I was able to separate the sections much more easily. If you think otherwise, or have any suggestions, please let me know via review or PM!_

_A very special thank you to everybody who read, favourited and reviewed my first chapter. You guys rock._


	3. The Citadel

Shepard and Kaidan were already waiting for her when she finally got to the airlock.

'I am so sorry, the elevator is so slow, and then I got lost and had to find somebody to-'

'Calm down, doctor.' Shepard's deep brown eyes were boring into hers, but there was something that might be mistaken for the beginnings of a smile on her lips. 'You aren't late. We'll find somebody to give you the full tour when we get back.'

'Thank you, Commander.' That was a huge relief. She had managed to find herself in the communications room before a huge, angry looking man demanded to know what she was doing. The confidence she had shown in front of Chief Williams had finally given out and she had to stammer an explanation, and a request for directions.

'Commander, what's the plan on the Citadel?' Kaidan spoke up.

'We have specialist supplies for the non-humans ready to be loaded, and we have two things to do on the station, hopefully we can accomplish both on one trip and get back to the mission. First, Garrus found a few dog tags in the Thresher nest we cleared out. The men were under the command of Rear Admiral Kahoku, I want to deliver the message and tags to him. He agreed to meet us near the embassy. Also, Ambassador Udina said he found another lead regarding the Geth, but wants to speak to us directly. I don't know why he can't tell us over the comm, but he wouldn't let up on the issue.'

'That seems a little... odd, Commander.'

'I agree, but let's hear him out before jumping to any conclusions.'

The airlock opened ahead of them with a hiss. Shepard strode ahead, and trio took the nearest elevator to Customs. They stood in silence for a few seconds while the radio informed them that rebuilding efforts on Eden Prime had already begun. Eventually, Shepard turned.

'Did you get sorted out with Williams, Liara?'

'I did, thank you Commander. I am grateful that you brought me with you; you are correct that the ship was beginning to feel somewhat cramped.'

'Have you travelled on a military ship before?'

'I have flown on Asari military vessels but never when they are on active duty. It may take some getting used to there being so many people around; my work has had me lead a life devoid of company for extended periods of time.'

'Did you ever feel lonely out there by yourself?'

It was a question Liara had faced before. Her people were the most social in the Galaxy but ever since she was a child Liara had always felt more comfortable in her own company than that of others. She relayed this information to Shepard, and Kaidan was the next to speak.

'I can understand that. Life in the military means we don't get a whole lot of time to ourselves. Sometimes I can see the appeal of just running off to some far corner of the Galaxy by myself and doing something I love for a while.'

Shepard gave a small smile at that, and asked 'Are you planning on deserting, Alenko?'

'Of course not, Commander. You know I've stayed on far beyond my obligated service. But maybe when the brass wants me behind a desk rather than in the field I'll hand in my notice.'

Liara was thoroughly interested by the exchange. She knew Shepard's reason for joining the Alliance, but Kaidan was something of a mystery. He was a gentle man and his words implied that, at least to begin with, he did not have a choice about serving. She had spent so much time with the Protheans recently that she had totally omitted following the political scene, so had very little knowledge about humanity's customs.

_Just another rebellion against mother's designs for me..._

'I thought you were a career man, Alenko.'

'Maybe. Humanity has a long way to go in the Galaxy and there's a lot of good to be done in the Alliance. But Eden Prime showed me that it's all so fragile. Any day we could be hit by a Geth attack, killed by a rogue SPECTRE or just unlucky enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. It makes you wonder what kind of life we miss, doing what we do. I'm an Alliance man to the bone, Shepard, but sometimes it's easy to forget what we fight for.'

The elevator reached its destination, and they dismounted. Kaidan dropped back, apparently deep in thought. Liara kept alongside the Commander, who glanced at her.

'Did you enjoy that, Liara? You we looking at us like you would a science experiment.'

'It was very interesting, Shepard. Asari are very keen to export our views onto others but many of us do not listen to what other species have to offer in return. I must admit that Kaidan presents something of a dilemma. He seems conflicted about his place in the world.'

Shepard looked back to the man following them several steps behind, his eyes still glazed with contemplation.

'He's a very good man. If there were more people like him there would be less need for people like me.'

'What do you mean, Commander?'

'I couldn't think like he does, Liara. We both fight to make the Galaxy a better place, but our motivations are different. He's a romantic, a good man fighting because he feels he has to, because he believes the Galaxy is a beautiful place that needs to be kept that way. Me, I fight because I know what horrors are out there. I fight because I want to, Liara, and I don't know how to do anything else. Should we achieve the impossible and create Utopia, there would be no place there for me.'

The thought saddened Liara. There was great beauty to be found everywhere one looked... to see it all as a facade would be devastating.

'Do you honestly believe that, Shepard?'

Her expression was blank as they approached a group of Turian C-Sec officers at the border patrol terminal.

'I do.'

Before they could continue, one of the officers pointed in their direction and the others turned. They were very heavily armed for Customs agents; all carrying assault rifles and clad in armour. The foremost agent, a Turian with black face plates covered with harsh white facial tattoos, spoke first. His rough voice and subharmonics actually made Liara's chest vibrate a little.

'Doctor Liara T'Soni?'

Shepard spoke before she had the chance to answer.

'Can I help you? I'm on important business here.'

'We know who you are, SPECTRE Shepard. The Council has ordered us to bring Doctor T'Soni in for questioning. You are free to go about your business as you please.'

Shepard's voice, not a few seconds ago a comfortable conversation pitch, instantly became pure steel. 'Doctor T'Soni _is _my business. If you or the council want to speak to her, you will do so through me.'

'We don't want to force the situation, SPECTRE-'

She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down to her eye level. She was not a tall woman, but suddenly the Turian, near seven feet tall, seemed very small. Her face was twisted into a snarl that was truly horrible to look at, and Liara was glad her eyes weren't pointed at her; it seemed like the light of the room was being sucked into them.

'That's right. You really, really don't.'

The situation was getting out of hand. The other three agents had raised their weapons towards the Commander, and she could feel Kaidan's biotics beginning to build behind her. Liara might be young, but she had been raised by one of the most powerful women in the Galaxy. Channelling a voice she remembered all too well from when she was being an unruly child, she called out in a fine imitation of her mother:

'**That is enough!** Commander, let that man go. I will turn myself in for whatever the Council wishes.'

Shepard looked at her incredulously. They all knew they were in something of a legal quandary: it was not often a SPECTRE came into conflict with C-Sec and whenever it happened the results were not pretty. Both acted on the Council's authority, and both technically had the power to restrain or if necessary execute the other. Liara's heart was pounding, but after several seconds, each lasting a lifetime, Shepard slowly released the C-Sec officer. Her mask of rage visibly neutered itself, to be replaced by an even more terrifying expression of pure emptiness, and she spoke again to the C-Sec agent.

'Doctor T'Soni is my prisoner and is vital to my current mission. If you wish to take her anywhere, it will be under my custody and my supervision.'

She promptly turned her back to the Turian, who started muttering into his comm, and strode up to Kaidan.

'Not a word, Lieutenant.' She handed him a handful of glistening pieces of metal on chains. 'Take these to Rear Admiral Kahoku and explain to him what happened to his troops, then wait in the Embassy reception. Do not contact the Normandy until we get back.'

Liara's heart jumped a little as she said the word "we". Shepard was planning on fighting the Council, for _her_?

The Turian finished his call, and turned to the Commander.

'Please come with us, SPECTRE Shepard, Doctor T'Soni. We will escort you to the Council chambers.'

He and another officer strode ahead, and Shepard followed with only a "follow me" wave at Liara. The other two officers fell in line behind them.

* * *

'This is a bloody mess, Anderson. You said this was the best way to get her to do what we wanted. Instead, she threatened a damn C-Sec officer and nearly started _another _fire fight on the Citadel!'

Ambassador Udina would have been tearing his hair out over the last couple of days, had he not already done so several weeks beforehand. Commander Shepard had been the poster girl of humanity's rapid ascent in Galactic politics, but it seemed she was determined to kill the man who actually made things happen in the process. First she tore up the Citadel looking for evidence against Saren, and now this.

'And now she is coming to us, with Doctor T'Soni. Dammit Udina, you asked me to be the bridge between Shepard and the politics and that is what I am doing. We're just lucky nobody got hurt.'

'And all I had to do was lie to humanity's first SPECTRE. This situation is delicate enough, Anderson; the Council is trying to establish dominance over her and I won't let that happen. Ensuring that she does not trust humanity's ambassador is not the best way to ensure our species works towards our future together.'

The whole situation was a nightmare. Shepard had refused the Council's demands to turn over the Asari, so they had turned to him to ensure they got the girl for what they called "professional questioning". Even to Udina, a career politician, this slippery term made him retch with its obvious meaning. Anderson had been the one to come up with the plan to get Shepard back to the Citadel, to his own **great **displeasure. That she had brought the Asari with her had been pure fortune; he had Rear Admiral Mikhailovich on standby ready to board the Normandy and secure the Doctor while Shepard was distracted by Udina. Anderson said they needed Shepard and her charge in front of the Council, and now they had it.

As it was, Udina had to admit that Anderson's plan had a certain grace to it. Shepard had acted admirably in refusing to bow down to C-Sec, and now they had to opportunity to show that humanity's first SPECTRE would not be a brainless lackey to the Council. Anderson had assured him that Shepard would come on top of a confrontation she was forced into, and lacking any other option the Ambassador had bowed to his decision.

'She was never going to trust you anyway, Donnel. She's a soldier; she hates politicians. I hate having to do this to her, but it's for the best.' His voice was genuinely full of sadness, but he recognised the steel in the words. Every leader, on a battlefield or in a boardroom, had to make decisions like this. _For the greater good_, most people said. It didn't make it feel any better: Udina had done it far too often to doubt the pain Anderson was feeling, but now was not the time for coddling.

As if on cue, a rapid transit cab pulled up near the base of the Council Chamber steps and Shepard disembarked, accompanied by a pair of heavily armed Turians. A second cab boasted the same garrison, only with a young Asari in tow rather than a seasoned soldier. Shepard strode over to the latter group and pulled one of Turians' arm off the Asari's shoulder. Not gently, Udina noticed. They started climbing the stairs, pausing at the mid-way point he and Anderson had occupied for some privacy. Shepard's dark eyes took his. Udina had to fight the urge to take a step back. He was not going to be intimidated by some thug who could fire a gun.

'You _lied, _Udina. I trusted you to do the right thing as our species' representative. Instead it seems you're just another politician looking to climb the greasy pole.' He had to fight back a retort. He had heard similar accusations through his whole career, but people like Shepard never understood what he had to do for humanity. He looked towards the Asari girl, who suddenly looked far older than she had when she exited the taxi. She held herself like Councillor Tevos did; a posture that spoke of grace and wisdom. The tight, high necked, Alliance issue lab uniform she was wearing managed to make her look both alluring and regal, rather than the subdued tone it gave to members of his own species.

'We can discuss this later, Shepard. I need you to explain to the Council why you spat in their faces when they demanded you hand the daughter of the enemy to them.'

He saw the briefest flicker of emotion, but before he could even realise it she was the picture of a soldier once more. The Asari's face was slightly more expressive; she looked hurt by his words but she too regained her poker face in a matter of seconds.

'Her name, _Ambassador, _is Doctor Liara T'Soni.'

'Very well.' He gestured up the stairs, and hoped to God that she could make the Council as uncomfortable as she did him. 'The Council is waiting'.

They climbed the rest of the stairs, C-Sec agents right behind them, and the Council wasted no time in getting straight to business.

'Commander Shepard.' The Asari Councillor was always the one to begin the tedious speeches the Council came out with. The Salarian would fill the gaps with information they thought important and the Turian would make barely veiled threats to ensure compliance. 'We are willing to overlook your words towards us given your recent promotion to SPECTRE status. However, given Doctor T'Soni's position-'

And on they went. It was just as Udina has expected: a thorough bollocking like they were telling off a naughty child. What was not expected, however, was Shepard's total silence. She stood in a parade rest and took every word the Council said on the chin. From what Anderson had said he expected her to give back to the Council as good as they were giving. The Asari was looking simply mysterious, holding a casual stance that was something between a statuesque pose and a graceful sway. The Turian Councillor finished with what he recognised as their equivalent as a sneer.

'So, Doctor T'Soni, do you have anything to say before being remanded into C-Sec custody?'

She looked as though she was about to speak, but Shepard spoke over her.

'Councillors, when you told me about Doctor T'Soni's location, I asked if your intel was to be regarded as an order. You replied that what you gave me was guidance and that I was to act as I saw fit, as befits an agent of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance unit.'

She fixed each of the Councillors with a gaze that could force a Krogan to blink.

'I acted as I saw fit, and have taken Doctor T'Soni into my custody. She will be providing me with information about her mothers' involvement with Saren, and with expert knowledge about the Prothean artefacts Saren is intent on collecting.

'What I would like to know, _Councillors, _is why you sent an armed unit of C-Sec agents to my ship. What I would like to know, is why you forced me to abandon half a dozen leads to trawl back to the Citadel when every day Saren might be gathering more Geth, might be attacking another human colony, might be instructing his contacts on the Citadel one step closer to his endgame. What I want to know is **why the hell you made me a SPECTRE in the first place! **I was under the impression that you gave me a mission, and I completed it. My mission is to stop Saren from committing another atrocity like Eden Prime.

'If you are going to insist on having your dogs arrest people under **my** custody and **undermine** my command, tell me now and I'll save you the trouble of another meeting like this. You were very clear that this is _my_ mission. Are you going to let me get on with it, or do you want to talk about it some more?'

* * *

Liara collapsed into her bunk in the tiny lab behind the med bay. The day had been absolutely exhausting. After Shepard's outburst, the Council had swiftly ended the session, allowing Shepard full reign to continue her investigation as she saw fit. Liara could see the media drones around the room going mad, and the Council obviously wanted to move to damage control mode before Shepard could embarrass them further. The Galaxy loved nothing more than seeing somebody shout at the Council; that the person was one of their own SPECTREs was nothing short of prime viewing.

But that was not all. Still visibly seething with fury, she turned on the human ambassador and in a voice barely above a whisper had said

'You had better have a _damned _good lead for me.'

The ambassador, quite shaken by the Commander's speech, had taken the two of them back to his office and told them about a human colony that had gone dark following reports of a Geth attack, Feros, mumbling an excuse about corporate funding and the need to keep it quiet. With barely another word, they had left, picked up Kaidan and boarded the Normandy. Shepard told her pilot to take them to Feros and ordered her and Kaidan back to their stations. They were due to arrive in a little under two days.

Liara had nearly fallen asleep, fully dressed and on top of her bedding, when her door rang. She sat up on the bed, still unwilling to alienate any of the human crew, and called out for the person to enter. She was slightly surprised to see Commander Shepard enter the room. She held herself as professionally as ever, but her eyes gave away that she was as tired as Liara felt. She was holding a couple of glasses of orange juice.

_Was she watching me so closely this morning?_

She took the glass offered to her, and moved across slightly as the Commander reversed herself and sat on the bed beside her. For two minutes they sat and slowly drank, neither of them uncomfortable in the others' silent presence. It was Shepard who broke the moment.

'I didn't know that was going to happen, Liara. I meant what I said this morning; you're free to go if you wish. If you want to leave, I'll find a different way to get you wherever you are going; it seems the word of the Council is worth about the same as Varren shit on my boot.'

That would not happen. Liara had deluded herself into a state of acceptance over her mother's treason while she was isolated in the lab, but facing the accusations of the Citadel Council had reinforced that it was all real. Her mother was partially responsible for an attack which claimed the lives of tens of thousands of people, and was in collusion with a rogue SPECTRE who planned to facilitate the "return of the Reapers". Whether or not the Prothean beacon was a true message about the Reapers, there was no way Liara could simply walk away now.

'I meant what I said, Commander. You fought for me today, more than anybody has since my mother defended my heritage to her peers. I will fight for you, if you will still have me.'

The SPECTRE briefly met her gaze and for once Liara did not feel the urge to look away. Her deep brown eyes were soft for once, full of an emotion or mix of emotions Liara could not read. She looked away again, towards the far wall of the room.

'Thank you, Liara. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did in the Council chamber. It can't have been easy having all that thrown at you by the three most powerful people in the Galaxy.' Liara did not know of a human ability to read minds, but the talent seemed to be limited to the woman beside her.

'... I will admit that it was difficult. Ever since I told my mother I wished to study our past, rather than look to our future, we have been increasingly distant. However, she is still my mother and to hear the Council call her traitor was discomforting, to say nothing about their implications of my involvement.'

Shepard did not say anything. Liara did not need her to: her actions in front of the Council spoke volumes more than a platitude now could. She put a hand over the one Shepard had rested on the bed. The contact of cool Asari and warm human skin was followed by brilliant blue eyes meeting deep brown.

'Thank you for your words today, Shepard.'

They broke contact again, and sat in comfortable silence for several more minutes before the human stood up, wished her goodnight and left the room.

For the first time since she had been taken onto the Normandy, Liara slept without dreaming Shepard's dreams of Mindoir.

* * *

**_A/N:_**_Wow, I have to say that I did **not** expect to have this chapter up today. I have several commitments at home at the moment but after I completed a big one faster than I expected I decided to treat myself to a whole afternoon (and evening...) of writing, and here is the result!_

_I want to say a huge thank you to **JadedragonMTR **for inspiring the central piece of this chapter. I was not sure about adding a meeting with the Council but their note prompted me into a direction I could take which seemed to fit perfectly with both the first chapter, and the outline I had for the first section of this chapter which was looking a little flimsy without any clear direction. Thank you! _

_My biggest concern is that Anderson might be slightly OOC, but we never see him in "politician mode" in game and it came naturally that he would be the one who knew how to get a soldier to do what a politician wants; that is why Udina hires him after all._

_As always, thoughts and reviews are highly appreciated!_


	4. Impressions

_The Butcher of Torfan: The best humanity has to offer?_

_Humanity's first SPECTRE: the woman behind the uniform._

_Human SPECTRE shelters suspected terrorist in front of Council!_

Liara had been scrolling through news reports since she awoke. She had tried to access Shepard's official record, but there were so many classified entries all she had managed to pull together were the woman's age and the fact that she was a highly trained Special Forces operative.

The news networks were a far richer source of information. Every major broadcaster had an opinion on the controversial decision to promote a human into the ranks of the SPECTREs, and they had both the contacts and the time to find out some of what the Alliance kept off the records. There were a large number of unlikely or even contradictory stories, but sifting through evidence had been Liara's life for decades. Even so, the picture she had formed of the Commander was woefully short of what she really wanted to know.

She was very capable woman: she had achieved top scores in all manner of aptitude tests, and her career was a long story of difficult missions successfully completed. She was a biotic, but was the first such soldier _not _put through the human biotic training regiment because her abilities were very weak and the Alliance did not want to "waste" an otherwise promising solider. Before her promotion to SPECTRE, her career defining moment was the assault on a Batarian slaver base on Torfan, in which she had wiped out the enemy to a man but at the cost of nearly 100 soldiers under her command.

It was in following this that she found the _only_ story about the Commander that did not involve her military achievements. Apparently she had spent an entire year's leave visiting the family of every single marine who died on Torfan. The reporter had tracked down several of the families and they all reported the same: that the Commander had remained stoic yet sympathetic, understanding but never apologetic as they broke down, blamed her for the deaths, told her to leave them alone and subjected her to a plethora of other reactions. To send soldiers to their deaths would be a terrible thing, but forcing oneself to see the consequences like that?

Her door pinged. Liara wondered who would be bringing her breakfast today as she called out for the person to enter. It was Doctor Chakwas who entered, but she was empty handed. She gave Liara a bright smile.

'Good morning, Liara'

Liara liked the Doctor. She was always polite and had taken good care of her when she had been rescued from the Geth on Therum. Her knowledge of Asari physiology was surprisingly thorough, and she always had something interesting to say when she brought Liara her breakfast.

'Good morning Doctor Chakwas.'

'If you are willing, would you like to join us in the mess this morning? Most of today will be spent in transit so many of the crew members are on light duty.'

'Doctor... I believe many of the crew members still do not trust me. Would that be wise?'

'You can't change their minds if they never see you, speak to you Liara.'

The prospect unnerved her. In front of the council all of the lessons her mother had taught her had kicked in: dignity, poise, and grace. Behaviour that befits the daughter of a dignitary. But it was different when she was speaking on a personal level. She had managed to hold herself strong in front of Gunnery Chief Williams the previous day, but the thought of doing so in front of a whole room full of suspicious marines was simply too much.

'I... I do not think I am ready to face a gathering of such magnitude, doctor. But you are correct that my staying in here is not endearing me to the crew. I will take a tour of the ship today and properly introduce myself.'

That seemed to please the woman. She gave Liara another smile.

'Very well, Liara. I shall bring you some breakfast.'

'Would you like to join me, Doctor?'

'Of course, Liara. I will be back in a few minutes.'

Liara tidied her desk while the woman was gone, and when she returned she was bearing a pair of trays with contents identical to those the Commander had brought her yesterday. They both sat down, but unlike Shepard the Doctor had no intention to let silence fill the room.

'How are you feeling, Liara?'

'You need not worry yourself over me, Doctor, I am fine.' The Doctor asked this every day, and always she gave the same response but Liara was surprised to find that today her answer was completely truthful. She did not have the headaches, weakness or exhaustion she had felt for the better part of a week.

'You certainly look brighter today. Perhaps your visit to the Citadel was good for you, although I gather it did not turn out quite as planned.'

'You know what happened?'

'Commander Shepard told me yesterday evening. She cannot come to see you without passing through my medbay and I am afraid I am terribly nosy.'

'"Nosy"?' The Doctor's nose did not appear abnormal. Most likely it was another curiosity of human speech. Most species had removed such flair from their languages to enable easy communication by translator, but it appeared that Humanity was rather reluctant to do so despite being part of the Galactic community for nearly thirty years. The concept pleased her. So many cultures living together at places like the Citadel meant they became slowly homogenised, and the idea of the stubborn newcomers fighting to keep their quirks alive gave her no small amount of happiness.

'It means I like to know others' business, Liara. It's a terrible habit, but one I think an old doctor should be allowed. Anyway, I was not asking about your health; as I said you look very well today. I have the feeling there is something troubling you.'

'Not troubling, Doctor. I was thinking about Commander Shepard. After she came to see me last night I realised I know nearly nothing about her so I looked her up on the extranet. The stories there tell of a talented soldier, but very little of what she is actually like.'

The Doctor smiled, with something of a knowing glint in her eye. Liara felt heat rising at the back of her head at the woman's unfortunately keen powers of observation.

'She is something of a mystery, isn't she? I am afraid you are asking the wrong person; I have only served with her for several weeks. I will tell you what little I can, but I suspect if you wish to get to know her personally the only way would be to speak to her yourself.'

She took a breath, visibly collecting her thoughts.

'You may be interested to know that a military doctor can tell a lot about her patient from their wounds. I have had the pleasure of Faith Shepard on my table twice now; once after Eden Prime and again after she rescued you from the Geth.'

Liara did not remember very much of Therum. She had managed to trap herself in the Prothean defence shield fleeing from a large, angry Krogan, and had been nearly delirious from the heat and dehydration when the humans arrived. She had passed out almost instantly after the shield had released her overstretched body. It had taken her over a day to wake up.

'The Commander was injured when she rescued me?'

'Not severely. She had several glancing gunshot wounds, a fractured wrist and a full page of bruises, sprains and overexerted muscles. She had similar injuries when we brought her in after Eden Prime. Shepard leads from the front, Liara. She would never give a soldier an order that she would not willingly carry out herself, and will always be the first over the breach. Her injuries were far worse than anybody else on the ground, which tells me that she is both completely fearless and protective of her squad.

'The Commander has a fearsome reputation in the Alliance for more reasons than one. No doubt you read about Torfan, and her rather colourful nickname of "The Butcher". What is not often reported is that the Commander was very nearly one of the casualties on that day. She is a deadly warrior, and it is no exaggeration to say that if it were not for her, the entire unit would have been wiped out. People look at the death count of the mission and call her heartless, but they do not know what they are talking about. She was alongside the men and women who died, and she survived because she was stronger, faster and luckier.

'Commander Shepard is a soldier to the bone, Liara. A weaker leader would have fallen back, or hesitated and been wiped out to a man. To her, the mission always comes first. But she will never sacrifice one of her soldiers' lives over her own.'

* * *

'E...Excuse me?'

Wrex looked up from his disassembled M-300 Claymore shotgun and saw the Asari that Shepard had brought on board was standing several feet away, wringing her hands. Alenko had introduced her the previous day and she looked just as nervous now as she did then. It did nothing to help his mood. It had been four days since he had killed something, four days of being cooped up on this damned small ship.

_Calm yourself, are you no better than an animal?_

The time since the last fight that wasn't the reason for his rage and he knew it. It was Shepard. Always probing and prodding, asking him questions he didn't want to answer. The human was as inquisitive as a damned Salarian, and could weed out what he was thinking even when he tried to talk about something, anything else. She saw straight through his assumed mantle of a dumb merc and he didn't like it.

'Can I help you, Asari?' With any luck she would leave him alone to his weapons and thoughts.

She bristled at his rudeness and he saw a flicker of annoyance in her eyes. Her arms crossed and she stopped trembling as she caught his gaze. Perhaps there was hope for her after all. 'My name is Doctor Liara T'Soni, in case you forgot.'

'Ha! Not many would speak to a Krogan Battlemaster like that, pup. Sure, I'll give you some time. Is there something you need?'

'I am taking a tour of the ship and properly introducing myself to the crew. As I will be fighting alongside you I thought it best to get to know you beforehand.'

He had seen her arming up with Williams the previous day so this wasn't unexpected. But like most aliens, she seemed to want to talk about fighting rather than doing it.

'You'll be fighting with us? You don't look like much, but I've lived long enough to know appearances can be deceiving.'

He let out a vicious grin. The point had been very clearly reinforced the last time he was on the ground.

'Like Shepard. She's small like you, but she's a warrior worthy of respect. If you want to get to know me, T'Soni, it won't be here. It'll be on the ground with bullets flying and blood pounding. That's when you find out an individual's true worth.'

Her eyes widened with curiosity. 'You have fought with Shepard?'

'Yeah. She took me down when she was investigating a distress beacon she thought was something to do with the Geth. Turned out it was a trap and led us into a damned Thresher nest.'

'A Thresher Maw! How did you escape?'

'Escape? Ha! We didn't escape! Shepard told us to keep the thing's attention while she charged the beast!'

'She did what?'

'You heard me. The Turian drove the tank around while Shepard, Alenko and me got out. We were slapping it around some with our biotics, and she ran up to it with a coil of that explosive wire you use to breach bulkheads in space. Ran around the monster twice, moving around its claws like some Asari stripper... uugh, no offence... then detonated it. Blew it clean in two! Ha!'

That had been a _fight_. He had slain a Thresher Maw during his Rite of Passage to Clan Urdnot, but not like that. His fight had drawn out and he lost more than half his krant before he managed to climb the beast and plant a grenade in its eye socket. It had earned him the horrific injury on his face, the scar he still bore with the greatest pride.

The Asari's eyes had widened even more and her mouth was hanging open a little. He didn't blame her, if somebody had told him a _human_ had brought down one of the Galaxies greatest predators in just a few minutes he would have laughed at them, or killed them for lying to him. His mood had improved since Liara had arrived. Great foes conquered, that was what life was about. But his peoples' greatest foe still lived. Damn Shepard and her... talking! But there was very little that could depress him after a good battle, and the memory of one would have to do for now.

'So, you still looking forward to fighting with us, T'Soni? I've fought enough Asari to know you make good enemies, but you aren't going to beat any enemies looking like a frightened Pyjak.' He was goading her now. He saw it earlier; the glint of a fighter, but it had disappeared behind the awe and fear of the thought of fighting a Thresher Maw. It was the duty of the warrior to train the young, and Shepard deserved only the best at her side. He was pleased to see the fighter come back as she scowled at him.

'I promised to fight for Shepard. I do not break my promises.'

'Good. She has no need of cowards at her back. Now leave me alone and go bother the Turian. He's been bugging for a conversation all day.'

He let out another chuckle as the Asari made her farewell and walked across the cargo hold towards the Turian. She had fire in her, but was scared of it. Shepard would know how to bring it out. She was a leader, the kind of person he was proud to follow.

'_How long will you be content to follow, Wrex? You're a leader, and your people need you.'_

'_My people will be their own destruction, Shepard.'_

'_Then it's up to you to show them that they're worth saving.'_

The good mood he had built up talking to the Asari darkened. He growled out the worst curse he could think of to Shepard's uncomfortable questioning.

'_Women_.'

* * *

For the second day running Liara returned to her cabin absolutely exhausted. She had spent a full six hours wandering around the ship, speaking to anybody she saw that was not vitally occupied. The responses had been varied, as she expected. Most of the humans were uncomfortable talking to her; like Ashley they had limited experience with members of other species. This manifested itself in ways from stilted conversation to ignoring her outright. But she had pressed on. One of the males had looked at her with a raw lust that frightened her, but she had forced herself to remain calm and pleasant. The other non-humans were a pleasant surprise. The young Quarian, Tali, had almost burst with excitement at having some flavoured food tubes delivered during the Citadel docking. The Turian had a wonderful sense of humour, and they had had a long debate on the virtues of justice against vengeance, and how best to deliver it. Wrex had been amiable as far as Krogan went, and she had felt no small measure of pride when he had complimented her gall in standing up to him.

All of the effort was worth it. Shepard had been talking with Doctor Chakwas when she returned to her lab, and had sat with her for several minutes, producing another cup of orange juice and a bar of something called "chocolate" that tasted far better than the rations she normally ate. She said that she had acquired it on the Citadel, though Liara had no idea when as the Commander had been with her the entire time. She had given it to her as a form of reward, saying she had received more than one comment from her crew about Liara's tour, and that while there may be some way to go in winning them over she had made an excellent start. From anybody else, the gesture might have been patronising but from the Commander it felt entirely honest and natural. They had shared the chocolate and talked about Thessia.

She was such a mysterious woman. Liara had been there for both occasions, but the image of somebody dreamily imagining the oceans of Thessia did not fit with the one of somebody near enough threatening the human ambassador, and getting away with it. She had leaned over his desk and met his eyes with a scowl on her face, hands set wide apart... suddenly she remembered why the shiny red wrapper of the chocolate had seemed familiar.

_Surely she didn't!_


	5. How we fight, why we fight

'I am with you Shepard!'

Liara slammed into cover beside the human woman, who was waiting for her shields to repower.

'You ok, Liara?'

'Fine, Shepard!' By the Goddess, this was intense! The Commander had more than lived up to the stories she had heard, and the team had destroyed what must be close to one hundred Geth in the Exogeni research building on Feros. They were currently hunkered at the one end of a large laboratory, at least twenty Geth having constructed a makeshift barricade at the other end. Only a few seconds of rest had passed before Shepard called out once more, her powerful voice drowning the noise of battle.

'Alenko, Williams, covering fire!'

Over the tinny sound of Geth weapon fire she heard the heavy rattle of a pair of assault rifles lighting up.

'Wrex, centre! Tali, keep them from flanking left!'

'On it Shepard!'

'Deploying drone! Go get 'em, Chikita!'

The lumbering form of a Krogan passed by Liara and hauled itself over the collapsed wall they were using as cover, and with a deafening roar he charged towards the enemy line. A heavy crack reverberated throughout the room, and from the behind came a call, the voice laced with good humour.

'Scratch one!'

Liara caught eyes with the Commander.

'You ready?'

She nodded.

'Let's go!'

As one they hauled themselves over the cover and followed Wrex. A walking wall of regenerating muscle, plates, biotics and armour was excellent cover. As he ignited his shotgun with a laugh, Shepard darted to his right and leapt over the Geth barricade, clubbing one enemy out of cover with her shotgun and launching a weak biotic push at another, stunning them both before they were torn down by the veritable wall of bullets coming from her allies. The others turned to face her as she bore down on them, wielding her Eviscerator shotgun in one hand and activating her omni-blade on the other with a snarl.

Liara saw several Geth stream from a doorway behind Shepard, and felt the vibrations down her spine as she generated a Singularity to block it and immobilise the Geth, careful to avoid trapping the Commander. She yelled out a warning to the others and instinctively ducked behind Wrex's massive form as Kaiden warped the field, detonating it and disintegrating half a dozen Geth. It was a manoeuvre they had perfected during the course of the day, each grateful to be in the presence of another powerful biotic.

Shepard engaged the remaining Geth, blowing one away point blank before grappling with another; its shields rendering her blade useless.

'Tali!'

Liara heard the young girl's lilting accent, heavily distorted by her enviro-suit, call back, knowing exactly what the Commander wanted.

'Overloading their shields, Shepard!'

The air filled with static and suddenly the Geth ceased their fire, wrenched into poses that, had they been organic, would have make Liara nauseous. They swiftly recovered, but the glimmer of their shields was gone. One dropped as another crack from Garrus' sniper rifle echoed through the room, and three others were knocked to the ground as Wrex kicked their barrier into them. Seemingly oblivious to the bullets flying off his barriers and grazing his skin, he walked through the gap and proceeded to execute them one by one as they struggled to right themselves. Liara raised her pistol and brought another down, while the rest were torn apart by the crossfire their manoeuvre had created.

And then it was over. Liara had heard the phrase "deafening silence" before but never understood it until that moment. Shepard was breathing heavily, surrounded by collapsed bodies of machines scorched by gunshot and blade marks. Wrex sat on one of the Geth he destroyed and tore off its shoulder plate, using it to scrape the blood and Geth viscera from his skin and armour. Tali ran to one of the Geth units still pitifully squirming and began charging her depleted omni-tool from the thing's power source. It was disturbing to watch as the unit moved slower and slower until it ceased altogether. Alenko, Williams and Garrus all strode up, uninjured, and started collecting thermal clips from the Geth. She heard the Turian chuckle at the state of one of the Geth he had downed and mutter 'I love this rifle'.

How long had it been since they had entered the building? Hours? Days? Minutes? Liara started to tremble. When they had arrived on Feros the Commander had dismounted with Alenko and Williams, stating that a bunch of terrified colonists would probably not react well to a heavily armed group of aliens. Liara had paced across the cargo bay restlessly, in full combat gear, until Shepard returned two hours later and informed the group that while she had done what she could to help the Colonists, the Geth had taken up residence in most of the colony and needed to be cleared out. She had gathered the rest of the team and almost as soon as they passed the barricades, they had fought and fought and fought...

'Liara!'

She realised the rest of the group was staring at her.

'I am sorry, Commander, I...'

'Are you hurt?' Her voice was thick with concern, as were her eyes.

'No, Shepard, I am unharmed. I apologise, I have never fought like this before...'

'Hey, you saved my ass back there. You're doing great.' She had walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Her voice dropped so only she could hear 'Are you ok? You can go back and help the colonists if-'

'No!' She would _not _allow the Commander to think her weak. She took a deep breath, and looked into the human's eyes 'I am fine now. Let us move on.'

* * *

Tali felt a glow of pride as the group walked back, exhausted, to the Normandy. They had saved a colony, destroyed a **lot **of Geth and learned much about Saren's plans during the course of the day. The memory of the Thorian's mind control and the savagery of the colonists dampened her spirits, but only a little. They had been treated like heroes by the colonists, and more importantly she felt she had a place. Shepard had _trusted_ her, and her alone, for some of their key tactics and Tali had ensured the Geth were driven to distraction by her specialist omni-tool programmes and combat drone.

Tali looked around the group. The Commander was talking with Garrus, he the one who had pulled her shoulder back into place with a nauseating pop earlier in the day. She seemed to be muttering darkly about the Doctor while Garrus flicked his mandibles in what she was coming to recognise as a smirk. Wrex seemed almost as happy as she did, though he seemed to be bleeding from at least 4 gunshots that would have killed her. Kaidan and Ashley were walking side by side, debating whether the Commander would let them celebrate a successful mission with alcohol, or even shore leave. That only left Liara, who was walking slightly behind them, looking rather dejected.

The woman had come to talk with her the previous day, and Tali had felt an instant bond with her. She might be over a hundred years old, but she acted like somebody her own age. It made sense when she thought about it; they were both at approximately the same maturity levels for their species. They were also the only two on the ground crew with no experience of real combat. She dropped back alongside her.

'Hey Liara, how are you holding up?'

She started at the noise, but looked instantly contrite.

'Oh, I am sorry Tali. I am afraid I am not making a good impression with the team. Today has been... disturbing, to say the least.'

'You can say that again. But you shouldn't worry. After the first time I saw real combat, on the Citadel when Shepard saved me, my suit had to inject an antiemetic to stop me throwing up inside my helmet, and Shepard half carried me back to her embassy. She told me it was an understandable reaction, and that I had proven myself by never hesitating during the actual fighting. You did great today Liara. You saved the Commander's life! Nobody will hold it against you just because you got a little shaky between battles.'

'Shepard saved you?' She had brightened up at the Commander's name.

'That's right. I had the evidence against Saren and some of his thugs were trying to take it from me. Shepard swooped in and saved me, and now I am on board the most amazing ship, on a mission to save the Galaxy. I doubt anybody has had a pilgrimage this exciting for years!' The thought still elated her, and that Shepard paid her so much _attention, _coming to talk about her people, trusting her to look after the engines... it was more than she had even gotten from her father.

'The evidence... that implicates my mother?'

_Oh Keelah, how could I be so stupid?_

'Oh I did not mean... I am so...'

'Please do not feel bad Tali, it is not your fault that she has chosen this path. Thanks to your evidence, perhaps we have the chance to lead her from it before it is too late.'

'This... must be very difficult for you Liara. Especially after what the Asari the Thorian had enslaved told you.'

'Shiala... she was one of my teachers as I grew up. She taught me about the power of the Asari, about the potential our powers to link minds holds. That she was so concerned about the effects of mind control, that my mother may be a victim of this power, it gives me both hope and dread.'

'What do you mean?'

'I had come to terms with my mother's actions, Tali. I may never understand them, but I had accepted that she did what she did, and needs to be stopped. But now to learn that she may not be responsible at all? I do not know if the prospect is relieving, or terrifying. My mother is a _powerful_ matriarch. Asari do not live to her age without incredible skill and control. If she could fall foul of such power, what chance do any of us have?'

The thought had not occurred to Tali. Suddenly her good cheer was gone.

'Do you think... do you think it is possible to reverse the process?'

'Unfortunately I know no more of the process than you. But Shiala mentioned that Saren was incredibly interested in researching mind control, and has a base somewhere dedicated to studying the effects. And she herself claimed that she had been broken of the effect somehow.'

'When she... linked her mind with Shepard, do you think this was part of the mind control process?' The Asari meld was something that frightened her. The Quarians were very communal by necessity but the concept of personal space, namely the inside of ones suit, was all the more sacrosanct for it. Imagining somebody probing her brain was like imagining an even greater invasion of one of the few things Quarians had to themselves.

'I do not believe so. I have heard of Asari being able to influence people to their will in this manner and...' she looked enormously uncomfortable all of a sudden, 'there is a rare genetic disorder that makes the potency of such powers greater. But Shiala was not so afflicated, and it is nearly impossible to bend the will of somebody not already inclined to follow one's lead.'

Suddenly she smiled a little, her face looking a lot younger for the action.

'Can you imagine somebody actually forcing Shepard to do something?'

Tali giggled at the idea, the melancholy tone of the conversation broken.

'I doubt it. She has the most amazing ability to talk people into following her, and making them think it was their idea in the first place!

She was referring to the uppity human Jeong who had, after a long discussion with Shepard, suddenly taken a great interest in restoring and preserving the colony.

'I didn't know whether to feel more sorry for him or the Geth.'

Liara's smile widened. 'Did you see her with her omni-blade? I did not know people even used them anymore!'

'We should get her a real sword; the technology is nearly as old!'

Finally free of the shadow of the Thorian, bodies flooded with endorphins following the battle and the thought of Commander Shepard charging into battle waving a sword, the two young women burst into almost hysterical laughter, drawing curious looks from the others.

* * *

'Are you ready, Liara?'

'Are you?'

'Do it.'

'Very well. Relax, Shepard. You are floating at the centre of a still ocean. Every movement sends ripples across the surface, every thought draws the attention of those dwelling below. We are connected. Open yourself the Galaxy.

'Embrace Eternity!'

_Fires, shapeless figures fleeing a burning city._

_**Reapers**_

_Friends, family, the lucky ones dead, the unlucky turned into monsters_

_**Reapers**_

_No stopping them, they appeared without warning, they destroyed without discrimination_

_**Reapers**_

_Our weapons useless, our empire ruins_

_**Reapers**_

_Remember us, learn from us_

_**Reapers**  
_

_Mother! Father! No!_

_**Reapers**_

_Digging, need to dig, need to bury, need to-_

'No!'

Liara felt herself forced from Shepard's mind, before she could warn her...

_You are remarkably strong willed, Commander_

She caught Shepard's deep, dark gaze as her own vision began to fade.

'Oh God Liara, I'm sorry, **DOCTOR**!

'Stay with me Liara!'

_Her touch is electric_

'Come on Liara, I won't let this happen!'

'Commander, what happened?'

'I don't know, I think I hurt her! She was helping me understand the Cipher, and then... it was like I kicked her out of my mind! I... I didn't mean to!'

_She sounds so frightened. She never sounds frightened._

'This is beyond my expertise, Commander, we need an Asari doctor!'

_Why is everybody shouting? The lab is peaceful when it was just me and Shepard. At least it is dark now._

'Alenko! Get back to the colony and get Shiala over here! Now! Tell her it's a medical emergency!'

'Commander, get her up here.'

_It is like being in a vacuum, weightless. She is so strong._

'She's fading!'

They finally quietened. It was rather pleasant, really.

* * *

_**A/N: **Two chapters in one day! I spoil you people. But seeing as I have received so much positive feedback recently, I decided to treat everybody!_

_Another huge thank you to everybody who has read, favourited, alerted and reviewed my work so far. I love telling the story but the feedback is what drives me to ignore my home life and spend my entire evenings writing!_

_So, this is my first real action scene, and another deviation from the ME story line. I do plan on keeping within the outline of the plot, but I have always enjoyed imagining the little things that could happen without affecting it too dramatically so you may be subject to more of my crazy imaginings as the story progresses. Next chapter will be all Liara and Shepard!_


	6. Wounds

Thessia's oceans were the Galaxy's most beautiful sight. The beaches were normally busy with people coming to admire the water, shimmering with the element zero that gave all of Thessia such a vibrant, mysterious energy, but today they were deserted as far as the eye could see. The soft sand was warm against bare feet and the sensation sent tingles up her spine. She saw one of the magnificent beasts of the deep surface momentarily, wet skin glittering in the sun, before it resumed its endless, mindless existence below the waves, leaving only ripples.

Unlike most of her people, Liara had never felt a strong connection to the ocean. The mysteries buried beneath the ground had drawn her in a way the water never had. But there was great peace here, and the memories of battle, and stress, and worry seemed far away, like a fading dream. She began to wonder why she felt so calm. She had no memory of arriving here, and it was most unlike such a beautiful spot to be so deserted. The thoughts did not come with concern. It was so nice to just... exist... without the terror that had been her life for what seemed like an eternity.

She heard gentle footsteps behind her.

'Liara.'

The voice was familiar, one that she had spent days and days listening to and obeying in what seemed now like another life.

'Liara, look at me.'

She turned and looked into the eyes of her old teacher.

'Shiala.'

'That's right, Liara. You need to listen to me.'

She sounded so serious. Could she not just enjoy the serenity? She turned back to the water.

'The oceans are beautiful today, Shiala. You should enjoy them while it is quiet.'

'The oceans are not real, Liara.'

What did she mean? She looked again at her teacher. Her heart started to beat faster. Something was wrong.

'Shiala, what happened to you? Why are you wearing armour?'

She was wearing her commando leathers, but they were torn up and covered in an unpleasant slimy substance. Her face was covered in cuts and bruises and her cheeks were hollow, as though she was starving. Her skin was tinged with a sickly green. How did she not notice that before?

'You rescued me, remember? I was trapped by the Thorian creature on Feros.'

She remembered. She had never fought so hard as on that day.

'I remember...'

Geth, squealing as if in pain as Tali destroyed their circuits from the inside.

'We were...'

The monstrous Creepers, spewing their vile innards over Wrex, melting his armour.

'I...'

The colonists screaming at her while she held them in Stasis, the sickening crunch as Shepard's shotgun butt connected with their skulls.

_Shepard!_

Liara's eyes flew open, the pitch black of the meld quickly brightening to their original brilliant blue. She tried to sit up in a panic, muscles protesting, only to feel strong hands holding her down.

'Calm down, Liara, you're safe!'

She looked up, recognising the med bay of the Normandy, and Doctor Chakwas holding her down. She calmed herself, and deepened her frightened breaths.

'I am well, Doctor, can you let me go.'

'Stay there, I need to check on Shiala.'

'Shiala was _here_?'

'She still is, Liara, on the bed beside you.'

She looked over, and saw that another bed had been pushed close to hers. Her old teacher was lying on it, looking only slightly healthier than she had in her dream, shivering and breathing heavily.

'Shiala!'

'I will be fine... Liara... I expected... this to happen' She continued to pant, as Doctor Chakwas examined her vital signs.

'What happened?'

'While you were... joined with Shepard... she rejected your presence... rather forcefully.'

Liara remembered this from her lessons. It was always a danger when joining, but a very rare occurrence as Asari only ever joined with willing participants. She hoped. If the Asari was not prepared their mind was sent reeling, often failing to reconnect with their own body.

'The beacon's vision reminded her...' She remembered her vow to the woman 'of something she had seen before.'

She felt a deep guilt once again. She did not want the Commander to relive that horrible event, any more than she wanted to see it herself.

'I believe she reacted negatively to my seeing it, unaware of the consequences.'

Shiala was breathing more regularly now, and nodded.

'That sounds likely. She brought me on board... and told me a little of what happened. I joined my... mind with yours, Liara, and brought you back to your body... by forcing you to remember where you are. The process... did to me what Shepard did to you, but I was prepared for it.'

'I am sorry, Shiala.'

She gave a wan smile. 'Do not worry, Liara, it is the least I could do for the ones who saved me from that horrible creature.'

'How long have I been asleep? Where is Shepard now? Is she ok?'

The Doctor let out a chuckle.

'Calm down, Liara. Shepard is fine. You have been out for a full day, most of which Shiala spent joined with you. Shepard is currently on the ground hunting down the rest of the Geth on the colony.'

The simple statement struck deep into Liara, far more than it had any right to. She had childish imaginings of the woman waiting for her to wake, at her side...

_Too much time alone on digs with only Justicar romance novels for company, Doctor._

Her expression must have given her away as the Doctor gave a gentle smile and glanced at Shiala. A _knowing _smile.

'I told you before Liara, Commander Shepard is a soldier to her core. Duty will always come first. But you may be please to hear that she never left during her off duty time, and even slept-'

_**Doctor Chakwas, prepare the med bay. Commander Shepard has been injured. ETA five minutes.**_

Joker's voice filled the room, and Liara felt a chill run down her spine. The Doctor abandoned her conversation and began preparing the room, gathering drugs and her equipment. Her assistant, abandoning his primary post at the gun battery, entered the room and started helping.

'Shiala, are you well enough to stand? I need that bed.'

'Yes, Doctor, I will wait outside.'

As Shiala hobbled out of the room, Liara spoke up.

'Doctor, is there anything I can do to help? I know a little first aid...'

'Unless you have emergency medical training the best thing you could do is stay where you are, Liara.' Her voice had lost all of its customary kindness and rang with the authority only experienced medical professionals could wield.

After several more minutes of nerve racking silence, Wrex burst into the room carrying the woman in his arms. He laid her down with surprising gentleness.

'What happened?'

Ashely, following close behind Wrex, was the one who answered.

'Gunshot to the chest. Geth bastard was aiming at a colonist, she jumped right in the way...'

'Ok, we need to get her out of this armour. Wrex, Gunnery Chief, please leave me to work.'

'Aye aye Doctor.'

As Doctor Chakwas checked the commander's vitals, her assistant started cutting away her bulky armour. He pulled away the chest piece, and Liara's stomach turned at the sickly red blood, dripping to the floor.

* * *

Commander Shepard's eyes opened to the sight of the magnificent blue of Liara's gaze. She was standing over her, holding breakfast like Shepard had for her not long ago. She sat up and took stock of how she felt today. The tightness in her chest had all but disappeared, and she felt some of the power in her limbs had returned. She was confident the Doctor would release her from the med bay today. Medical advances in the last few centuries had been nothing short of miraculous, and the wound which should have killed her had instead confined her to a bed for four days, back to active duty in seven. The time had been spent poring over reports of Geth activity, ordering new gear, drilling contacts for leads and overseeing minor missions.

She had ordered Kaidan to lead two ground missions, one of which had seen heavy combat against Geth, the other to talk down a mad man with hostages. His ability was impressive. Diplomatic when dealing with what could have escalated into something messy, cautious and thorough in combat; looking out for his troops while seeing the mission through to its conclusion. He was perfect material for a reliable second in command. Ironically, considering what he had told her about wanting to stay in the field, his aversion to risk would see him up the career ladder and behind a desk far sooner than herself. She was already beginning to mentally map out how she could guide his skills when Liara drew her out of her reverie.

'You are looking much better today, Commander.'

This had become something of a ritual in the short time she had been laid up. The Asari would bring her breakfast and spend a little time talking about anything and everything, from Asari culture to human mythology. Today was no different; they talked about Liara's studies. The woman lit up when talking about what she loved, the passion in her voice banishing the gloom surrounding their mission. It was endearing, and seeing the sadness leave her eyes, even just for a moment, was a reminder of what was worth fighting for. The woman was having an incredibly difficult time, Shepard knew. She was still conflicted about her mother's part in Saren's plans, and the combat on Feros had shaken her more than she cared to admit, especially when they had to subdue the civilians. But she was coping with a stoicism that would put many professional soldiers to shame, that was worth respect.

But there was something that needed to be brought out into the open. It was becoming apparent that the Asari's unique knowledge of the Prothean extinction would be key to their mission, and the only way to utilise this knowledge was to share her visions through melding.

Liara stood up and started collecting the remains of their meal, but Shepard caught her arm before she could leave.

'Liara, please stay. There's something I need to tell you, if we're going to share thoughts about the Prothean vision again.'

She looked uncomfortable. It was obvious she had been expecting this.

'Commander, if you do not wish-'

'I need to do this Liara. Last time we melded, I hurt you. I don't want that to happen again. I can't see the Prothean vision without seeing... those memories, and I think if I share them on my terms, I won't react so badly when they get dug up. But I'm not saying this just because I have to. I trust you Liara, and want you to know.'

Liara sat down and nodded silently, not needing to express the concerns she had. She knew that Shepard had never talked about this, only giving the Alliance psychologists the bare minimum of information and not having anybody else close enough to share it with.

'I grew up on a colony called Mindoir. It was one of the many farming colonies we set up to get more prestige in the Galaxy, so had practically nothing in the way of resources or supplies, and unless it was the tax collectors the most we saw of the Alliance were fortnightly patrols by a tiny fleet stretched over too many colonies.

'Life was tough, but we made well of it. As soon as I could, I was put to work looking after animals, picking fruit and working the machinery. I suppose it prepared me for military life; I've never had the opportunity to sleep late or spend loads of time doing nothing.'

She smiled a little as the memories came to her, the pain she usually felt instead replaced by a gentle happiness.

'I was the oldest of three sisters. We used to drive my Dad nuts. As farmers we were never going to be girly girls, but he would always get so melodramatic about the trouble we would get in, calling us his little action men.'

Something suddenly occurred to her. Liara had a look of slight confusion on her face, but was too polite to interrupt. Shepard answered her unasked question.

'Humans have some pretty odd expectations about their kids depending on their gender. They think little girls all want to be princesses and dress up, while boys get into trouble and come home covered in mud. For some reason we keep hold of these opinions, but as far as I can tell it's never actually been like that.

'Anyway, like I said life was hard, but our family was tight and the community was one of the more prosperous farming colonies at the time.'

She took a deep breath, fighting back the fears that came with what happened next.

'I was sixteen when the slavers hit. Not much more than a gangly kid, all elbows and a body I hadn't grown in to. Dad had given me the afternoon off, and I was fishing on the lake. It was so quiet. I loved the time I had to myself; just me and my dreams for a few hours.

'The first explosion shook the little raft I had made for myself. The second lit up the skyline with fire. When the ship flew over me, its wake knocked me into the water. I was a few miles away from the main colony and ran back the whole way. By the time I got there, they had already hit my home and moved on. The Alliance told me the fuckers are fast, in and out before most people even realise what happened.'

She felt an unwelcome knot working up her throat, and jumped a little when she felt Liara's cool hand cover her own. She nodded her thanks, and continued.

'I told the Alliance I don't remember much of what happened then, and when I told them it was true. But now, I remember it all, Liara. There were a few bodies around, burned, mostly the men. I was hungry, and the smell made my stomach rumble. The thought made me sick.'

Liara had gone pale, but still held onto Shepard's hand. She kept her voice steady, the familiar cold helping drown her emotions.

'I was nearly home when I stepped into somebody's body. I don't know who it was. My foot went right through them. I just remember thinking about how it messed up my new boot.'

She wondered if the fact that this no longer disturbed her was disturbing in itself. Liara's grip tightened.

'When I finally got home I found my parents. It... looked like one of them was trying to rape my mum when my Dad stuck an axe in its back. I hope the bastard didn't hurt her too much. Then I guess another one shot both of them. Not much money in adults, the Alliance told me.

'I just sat there for a while. I remember thinking that I should be crying, or looking for my sisters, but I didn't. I just sat there. For hours, until the sun went down. It started to get cold, and I realised the Alliance would probably arrive soon. I didn't want the soldiers to see my parents like that, so I buried them. I couldn't find anything to dig with, so I used my hands. It seemed like it took forever. When they were safe I just waited for the soldiers to come.'

She could still remember the flashlights, the shouting men, the sick bastard of a medic eyeing her up as he treated her hands, the tired looking social worker with unwelcome pity in her eyes. She had joined the Alliance then, on one of their youth programmes. She signed up with the military as soon as she turned 18.

She looked over at Liara. Her eyes were filled with... not sympathy, but something similar. Empathy.

_Of course. She lived it because of you._

They sat in silence for several minutes, hands still touching. Shepard had never expected to have to open up this way. The young Asari had, without pushing, helped her exorcise the ghosts of Mindoir in a way a dozen years of probing by therapists could not. She had thought about her family without breaking down. She had remembered the attack without feeling the hot rage beginning to cloud her mind.

Liara's voice was gentle, and rang with the melody that seemed to come naturally to Asari. 'Did you find out what happened to the rest of your colony? To your sisters?'

_**Torfan**_

'No.' The lie came easily. Perhaps she would tell her of that horror in the future, but not today.

* * *

'Yes Liara? Have you found something?'

Liara had asked to be excused from all duties for the day. She had been working on something, and thankfully Shepard had trusted her enough both allow it, and not to question too deeply when it may have come to nothing. She had spent the whole day sifting through evidence, tracing sources, calling in her precious few favours and, worst of all, making liberal use of her family influence to get the information she needed. She had never succumbed to the temptation of the latter during her career, but Shepard needed every edge she could get.

She wanted to help the Commander in any way she could. The woman had trusted her with something deeply personal to her very being, when she had absolutely no reason to do so. Liara was determined to prove herself worthy to the woman.

The research had been difficult. Not only was the information she was looking for buried beneath layers of contradictory facts and reports, her new direction had forced her to reconsider many of the truths she had thought she could rely on during the past decades. But she had a purpose. She had eventually found exactly what Shepard would need.

'Yes, Commander. I know where my mother is.'

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Thank you for reading. As always, feedback is enormously appreciated, in any way, shape or form. As everything I write is a new experience, I am always on the look out for comments on things I did well, and constructive criticism of things I did not so well._


	7. Hesitations

This was it. Noveria. Her mother on the surface somewhere. The Normandy was preparing for docking procedures, which were unsurprisingly drawn out given the planet's mistrust of Council space authorities.

It had been a little over a day of travelling since Liara had told Shepard of her mother's location. The decision had torn her, more than any she had made in her entire life. She had thought herself resolved on the issue; there was undeniable proof that her mother was a traitor to Galactic peace, traitor to her people and traitor to _her_.

The decision should have been easy. She had been behind an attack that lead to thousands of innocent human deaths. She had sent mercenaries and Geth to secure her own daughter, when a simple message would have lured her. Shiala's evidence that her mother may not be herself should have secured the deal. If she was sick, then Liara should be there to help. Shepard might take pity. Left to her own devices, Benezia was likely to either fall deeper into Saren's grasp, or find herself facing down a superior opponent.

Tracking the information had been nearly as invigorating as combat. All of the skills she had picked up through decades of an archaeological career, put towards something she felt she could grasp, something she knew could change the future. She had felt elated when she finally elicited the information from a dock worker on Noveria.

_You knew you had information that could change, save or end somebody's life. Your mother's life. And it excited you._

She could have held on to the fact. She could have tipped her mother off. She could have found a way to slip away from Shepard next time they were docked and fled to her. But the more she thought about it, the more she realised she could not. She was young, by Asari standards anyway, but it felt like she had been sucked into a series of events that would shape the Galaxy. A rogue SPECTRE, a powerful Matriarch, the Geth back from beyond the Veil, thousands of innocent colonists dead for a 50,000 year old relic, and mind control strong enough to turn farmers and engineers into raving lunatics? Every new twist in this mission made it clear that Shepard was walking into something horrific. She needed every edge she could get.

More importantly, to her at least, Liara _wanted_ to help the human. It was not just the fact that she had saved her life, or given her the chance very few others would, or even that she took time out of her incredibly busy schedule to talk to her, nearly every day. It was something more primal, a feeling she had recognised ever since she had first awoken in the Normandy's medical bay. The pleasant tightening of muscles. The warmth at the back of her head. She had felt attracted to some of the lovely initiates she had been trained and educated with, but what she felt then paled in comparison to how she felt when the mysterious, dark haired woman was around. She thought the feelings would go away, a case of hero worship that was all too understandable. But no matter how much she applied logical thought, the feelings only intensified.

The truth was that Liara had given Commander Shepard the information because she wanted to impress her. May the Goddess forgive her, thoughts about saving the Galaxy, or helping her mother, had been entirely secondary.

As she stood in the cockpit, sharing an unusual but comfortable silence with Joker, looking down on the icy planet, she felt a presence alongside her. _Her _presence. The scent of leather and steel, with the heady undertone of human sweat fills her nostrils. It is intoxicating.

'You have experience and training in diplomacy, am I right?'

'You are correct, Commander.' Her mother had drilled into her from a young age what was expected of the daughter of a Matriarch. She had attended more political functions than she could remember.

'I want to bring you down on the exploratory ground team. Detective Vakarian will also be accompanying us. We're going to have to battle a lot of corporate interests down there, and having a SPECTRE, C-Sec officer and diplomat should give the impression that we aren't messing around.'

Was she skirting the obvious issue? Surely she did not expect Liara to accompany her, without reassurance? Liara decided to force the issue.

'I imagine you wish to talk to me about Benezia.'

Shepard stayed silent for a moment, looking across the magnificent view outside of the ship. Eventually she turned to Liara, and gestured towards the back of the ship.

'Come to my cabin Liara, we can talk in private. One comment, Joker, and I'll be sending _you_ to deal with the bureaucrats down there.'

The pilot closed his mouth and scowled at the Commander.

They wandered slowly through the ship. This was just another quirk of Commander Shepard. She had been on several military vessels before and the leaders always strode at a pace faster than a walk, with a determination that practically yelled "I am busy, move aside". Shepard felt no need to do this, and when she was not required immediately, would walk at a very leisurely pace, occasionally stopping to speak with crew members or just feeling part of a working machine. She did not stop this time, and Liara felt herself growing more anxious as they slowly made their way down the stairs.

What was she going to say? Would she ask her to remain on the ship? Would she question her loyalty? Would she ask her to trick her mother? If Shepard asked, could she?

They entered the Commander's small cabin, and the door shut behind them. Liara had never been in here before. The room was tidy; practically bare. She noticed what must be the ship's only water shower and eyed it with envy. There was a single desk with a simple hard chair, which the Commander sat in. She gestured to the softer bed, indicating she wished Liara to sit. As she did, she noticed a photograph of two young human girls on the small table beside the pillow. Liara felt a lump rise to her throat as she realised they must be the Commander's sisters.

'My sisters, Joy and Grace. My mother was a religious woman and named us after the virtues she felt we would embody in our lives. It's ironic; I never had faith the way my sisters did. And after the attack...'

She coughed.

'That's not what I wanted to talk about.'

'You wish to discuss what is likely to happen on Noveria.' She deliberately phrased it as a statement rather than a question.

'Yes. I want to know how you think we should proceed.'

'You…' this was not what she had expected. 'You wish my opinion?'

'Of course I do Liara. I'm not going to insult you by pretending this will be like any other job for you. We _will _confront Benezia, and I want to know how you think we should go about it.'

From what Liara had seen of the Commander, she was surprised. She always seemed to take control of a situation, relying on herself and her abilities to lead, whether it be in battle or conversation. Perhaps she was asking merely to mollify Liara; she knew the outcome of this mission would not be pleasant whatever happened and if she felt she had a part in the decision…

_Stop thinking like that. She has shown you nothing but respect, far more than mother has done for decades._

'I… I am under no illusions that we may be forced to fight, Shepard. I want you to know that I am with you, whatever happens.'

'I know, Liara. I trust you. If your loyalty was in question I would not have you on my ship, on my crew.' The simple words, _I trust you, _sent Liara's heart fluttering.

_Now is not the time!_

'Thank you, Shepard. That means much to me.' She would not say quite how much. 'I will answer your original question. My mother has substantial influence in the companies that operate on the planet. If she has given orders that her location be hidden it is unlikely we will be able to learn it through official channels. I would suggest one of us approaches these channels, however, to ensure we do not draw suspicion. Our main focus should be on the ancillary workers who may have actually seen her; security, transport and so on. We should be able to charm, bribe or threaten our destination out of the necessary people without too much difficulty.'

Shepard burst out laughing. Not the controlled chuckle she usually let loose on occasion; it was an open, honest, _full _laugh. The sound was completely unexpected: a melodious ringing, much higher in pitch than her normal voice or chuckle. It was wonderful. It reminded Liara of a young girl playing rather than a battle hardened soldier. But the situation was completely inappropriate. Had she said something wrong? She asked the question.

'No Liara' She still had a smile on her face, and her normally dark eyes were dancing. 'Just remind me never to go on the run from you.'

Liara's confusion must have shown, because the human continued.

'I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you. Well, I was a little, but you surprised me. Here I was thinking you were an innocent scientist!'

Liara thought back over what she had just told the human. Had she really suggested threatening somebody? The thought troubled her. Since when had she been so… cold? Was it the human's influence? Had she been raised this way, and hidden it by burying herself in her studies? She had always thought herself a reasonably kind person… but suddenly memories of what she had done throughout her career came to her mind; memories of covert manoeuvring to ensure her proposals were heard above others, of academic disagreements that seemed a lot less academic in hindsight.

_By the Goddess, have I always been like this?_

A warm hand on hers drew her back to the present, Shepard was leaning forward, smile gone, her eyes full of the same concern she had shown on Feros.

'Hey Liara, I was joking, don't look like that, it is a damned good idea.'

'It is not you, Commander. I… I did not think myself capable of such a thought.'

'We all do what we need to, Liara. Are you ok? You look a little shaken.'

'Yes, Commander, I am well. Let us prepare for landing. We can continue our discussion on the ground.'

_We all do what we need to. _

The words echoed in her mind long after Shepard said them.

* * *

'You know, for a company that claims to hate government red tape so much, they sure do a good job of replacing it with their own.'

Garrus was grumbling to nobody in particular. There was nobody in earshot, and he doubted anybody would answer on the radio. He was currently treading across the unnecessarily huge welcome hall of the Noveria Holding Company for the fourth time. He had just about gathered that Benezia was here on business for Binary Helix, but tracing her actual whereabouts was near impossible. A lead passed to him by an internal affairs officer had led to nothing, and he was on his way back to try again with the Administrator of the Port. He wondered why Shepard had sent him on this task. He made no apologies about his distaste for bureaucracy and this planet had even more than the Citadel. Surely the Asari would be better suited to buttering up the officials?

Garrus was still not sure what to make of her. She had at first seemed almost painfully innocent, but had more than proven herself a worthy fighter on Feros, and their discussions showed her to be a very intelligent woman with a streak of ruthlessness that he had not expected. Their discussion on the merits of various forms of law enforcement showed that she was not averse to serious criminals being executed, but she was very adamant that it not be at the risk of innocent life, and certainly not if there was a doubt regarding guilt.

_Speaking of doubts regarding guilt…_

Trusting her with mission critical tasks was unnecessarily risky. It was not the course he would have chosen. He would have interrogated her for the information he needed, and then turned her over to the Council. Simply hoping that she was on their side seemed foolishness in the extreme. As always, the niggling doubts grew on him. Was this why he struggled so hard to get himself recognised, to be given more power to fight injustice?

He found it so hard, sometimes, to reconcile the path of forgiveness and trust with that of justice. Following one, to him, meant forgoing the other. Was he wrong? He had seen so much injustice, but even Shepard, a SPECTRE, said she thought his ideology was too extreme. Normally comments like that only strengthened his resolve, but from her it caused an unwelcome self-doubt.

Was she right? She was a SPECTRE: she had the power to do as she wanted but still she showed restraint. He had always seen Saren as something of a paragon, a man to aspire to be, and now he was chasing him down. Did Saren think _he _was doing the right thing, in some twisted way?

His radio crackled to life.

'Garrus?'

'Shepard. Please tell me you are having some luck.'

'Yup. Meet us at the garage. The others are on their way as well.'

'Thank the Spirits. If I had to kiss up to one more bureaucrat I think I might have dropped my sunny demeanour.'

Wrex decided then was a good moment to join in on the comm.

'What's the matter, Vakarian? I thought Turians always ate Varren shit for breakfast.'

'Come on Wrex, you know I can't eat stuff from your planet. But now you mention it, the droppings of this four legged Palaven bird called-'

'Enough, you two.' Shepard's voice overrode them, but he could hear that she sounded amused. The woman had a good sense of humour which was too often hidden beneath her professionalism. Her time with Liara must have cheered her up.

As he neared the garage, he saw the others approaching from the other direction, in full combat gear. Shepard was standing next to a Turian in a grubby mechanic's uniform. She wasted no time in filling the team in.

'Benezia is at a research lab called Peak 15. There is a blizzard out at the moment which means transport will be difficult, but Lilihierax here,' she gestured to the Turian, who was looking like he would rather be elsewhere 'kindly offered to get us a suitable vehicle. The weather will actually work in our favour once we're out; we won't be followed. Benezia was accompanied by a full team of commandos and had a _lot_ of large crates that sounded suspiciously like they might be harbouring some manner of unpleasantness, so be ready. I don't want us opening hostilities, however, I'd like to have this end without bloodshed. So no firing unless on my order.'

As they headed into the Garage, he could hear the Commander talking quietly to the Asari.

'Are you ready for this, Liara?'

'Yes, Shepard. Thank you for giving her the chance. Whatever happens, I will not forget it.'

Garrus hoped Shepard wouldn't regret her optimism. He too had once thought that criminals deserved the chance to be brought in, but before Shepard had recruited him his body count had been rising, much to the distaste of his superiors.

_They were all criminals. They deserved it. Shepard may need to learn this the hard way, and it might happen today._

* * *

Liara was drained, physically and mentally, when they finally reached Benezia. First, they had fought Geth, which had occupied most of the publically accessible areas of the Labs. Then Rachni! In any other situation the scientist in her would be having a field day. But as they were fighting through dozens of them, and they showed a rather remarkable resistance to bullets meaning biotics were the first order of combat, the novelty had very quickly worn off.

Worse had been to come.

Benezia's commandos had ambushed them and Liara had put a bullet through the skull of one that was holding Shepard in a biotic field.

It was the first time she had killed somebody. She had blown up Geth, and slain Rachni, but they had been different. Breaking machines and, as Ashley put it, "pest control, SPECTRE style". When the young Asari, who she thankfully did not recognise, had sprayed azure blood everywhere and dropped without a sound, Liara had emptied her stomach and been reduced to uselessness while the rest of the team finished off the commandos. She had felt so ashamed, despite her stuttered explanations being accepted by the team with varying degrees of kindness. When the company's security team betrayed them, she had not hesitated again. She promised herself she would _never _hesitate again.

And now, covered in blood, armour dented and torn, the whole team exhausted, she stood before her mother, Commander Shepard at her side. There were no more obstacles.

'You do not know the privilege of being a mother.'

What was wrong with her? She never sounded so cold!

'I will not be moved by sympathy. No matter who you bring into this confrontation.'

Was this what her mother had become? She had turned away from the large Rachni in the tank, and looked at Shepard with glazed eyes. She barely even glanced at Liara. Shepard assured her that Liara was there of her own accord. Liara heard herself thanking the Commander. The whole scene seemed unreal. What stood before her was not her mother. She had always been aloof, distant, but never so… disconnected.

Shepard tried to talk her down, talk her into turning herself in.

Benezia laughed. The empty sound turned Liara's blood to ice.

Shepard promised treatment for the brainwashing.

Benezia said she was not brainwashed. That Saren's words had shown her the truth.

Shepard turned to threats. Pointed out the dozens of corpses they had used to pave the way to her.

Benezia told her the time for words was over. She lit up with biotics, and hurled Shepard towards the group standing behind them.

Liara did not hesitate. The gunshot sounded like a whisper. It sounded like the end of the world.


	8. Healing

'I have always been proud of you, Liara'

The cold had gone from Benezia's voice, replaced by the calm, strong tones Liara knew. Strong considering she had a bullet in her chest. A bullet Liara had put there.

'I am so sorry I let you down. His voice... like claws at my mind, like whispers, promising enlightenment... fading now...'

She had never heard her mother apologise. She was always so confident, always right.

'I kept a piece of myself... I wanted to help... the console...'

Shepard, recovered from the biotic attack and now standing back, awkwardly trying to both give Liara her privacy and keep a weapon trained on her mother, nodded to Kaidan who started dumping the information onto his omni-tool.

Liara could not do this. She was so _tired,_ she just wanted it all to stop, to go back to her digs, to her relationship with mother being arguments over her chosen path that seem so silly in hindsight, where there was no death, no soldiers, no shouting.

'There must be something I can do, mother, we have medi-gel, we could find help, we could-'

'No, Liara.' She took her hand. Her sad smile tore Liara's heart. 'You freed me, I won't go back.'

'Please, mother! I need you!'

She laughed, the sound turning into a cough, and her mother's blood was added to that of the dozens she had killed during the day.

_So much blood, I just want it to stop!_

'You haven't needed me... for a long while now... you have your own life.'

They could both sense the end as it drew near. Benezia's voice was almost a whisper.

'Thank you, Little Wing... I'll see you again, at the dawn.'

Liara, kneeling helplessly in front of her mother's body, started crying. Gently at first, tears silently streaming from her eyes, but soon her entire body was rocking with the effort.

She was barely aware of what was going on around her. Shepard snarling at the beast in the tank, activating the acid purge, ensuring the Rachni stayed extinct. Her gruesome expression replaced by kindness as she lifted Liara to her feet and kept a firm arm around her as she guided them through the path of bodies they had created. The respectful silence of the other crew members.

As they sat on the tram bringing them back to the port, she leaned into Shepard's body. Despite their armour, she felt comfortable, physically at least, and her tension began to recede. Her mother had looked so _grateful _as she slipped into the embrace of the Goddess; perhaps she could, one day, come to believe that killing her had not been so terrible.

With that thought giving her warmth in the frozen wastes surrounding them, Liara snuggled in closer to Shepard and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Shepard shifted uncomfortably as the Asari she held against her fell asleep, and tried to ignore the smirk Williams was giving her. Now was hardly the time for rebukes. Liara had just killed her own mother after being dragged into this nightmare against her will, and whatever Shepard could do for her, she would. She knew that Asari were generally more physical than other races, with gestures humans reserved for lovers such as stroking the face, shared between friends and families. If a comforting hold would help, then a comforting hold she would give.

She was slightly startled to realise that this was the first time she had been this close to somebody since her home was destroyed. Her life after that had been therapy, school and the military, which left little time for intimacy. She had been approached several times by other recruits, but the truth was she had no interest in such acquaintances. She even avoided getting close as friends; choosing to spend her time at the shooting range or studying rather than going out and socialising.

Everything she had done since the attack had been for somebody else, and she was if not happy, then content with that. She knew she was an excellent soldier, and that she made a difference in a lot of lives doing what she did. Her duty came before anything else. She always took time to get to know the people she was working with, but her current crew were different. She looked around at the unlikely team she had brought together on ever more strange and dangerous mission.

Kaidan, the best of them all. He was always there with a quiet word of encouragement, a moderate and thought-out opinion that seemed to be the right thing to say at the right time. She wondered if he had any idea of what was coming when he had been assigned to the Normandy, not so long ago. The few weeks since Eden Prime seemed both like they had flown past, and been their entire lives.

Ashley, still troubled by the loss of her unit on the planet. One of the best soldiers Shepard had ever seen, crippled by fear of her own failure, fear of her lack of worldliness, fear of letting those close to her down. If she could throw off those fears she would be a force for immense good in the Galaxy. Her opinions of aliens had worried Shepard initially, but it had not taken long to learn that they were based not in xenophobia, but in nervousness, gossip and simple lack of exposure. Her time on the Normandy had seen her change considerably.

Garrus, torn by his desire to see justice served and what he saw as needless regulations getting in his way. He was a fine man, but Shepard hoped beyond hope that when he finally learned why the easy way was rarely the best way, it was not at the cost of innocent lives. He would never be able to forgive himself, and she feared that the outcome would destroy him, or worse send him spiralling down the doomed path of the vigilante.

Wrex, who would lead his people to greatness if he ever accepted the responsibility. He hid as a simple mercenary, but had a devotion to his people that she rarely saw in _any_ species. She knew that, not being around during the Krogan rebellions, humanity's view of the Krogan was skewed but she also thought it gave a perspective the Council races lacked. The Krogan were a broken race, destroying themselves slowly, and without hope for the future would continue to do so.

Young Tali, who had thrown herself into this mess with the absolute certainty that Shepard would pull through. No doubt she had a bit of hero worship, but also possessed the finest mind for technology Shepard had ever seen. As adept on the battlefield as she was elbow deep in an engine, she would be a fine example of her people to the Galaxy when she became an adult.

And of course Liara. Not an hour went by when Shepard did not think of her. She had been dragged from her quiet life of study and simple pleasures, and Shepard had filled her mind with visions of horror, all for the "sake of the mission". Despite it all, she had proven herself loyal, a worthy fighter and was really coming out of her shell in her relationships with the rest of the crew. Shepard felt unworthy to call the woman a friend after all she had put her through.

_Just a friend?_

The thought had been troubling her ever since she had awoken in Chakwas' medical bay after Feros and found the Asari had cared for her, despite Shepard's hurting her not so long before. She had been absolutely terrified when Liara had passed out after their joining, slipping to the ground, eyes still black and an eerily content smile on her face. Would she have felt that way about any of the other crew?

_Probably, but would you have stayed the night in the med bay?_

She was not used to these sorts of feelings. Honing herself into the perfect soldier had been her existence ever since her life had ended. It gave her something to focus on, something to lose herself in. She enjoyed talking with the crew, but was under no illusions that she was motivated by duty rather than desire. Except for Liara. Since she had unintentionally shared her memories of Mindoir with her, she had felt the woman get closer and closer to a part of herself she thought long since dead. She felt an uncommon peace in her company when they talked of everything and nothing. She felt anticipation building when she approached Liara's little lab at the end of her rounds. When they touched, intentionally or not, Shepard felt a shiver down her spine at the sensation of the cool, blue skin.

And it scared her. Living and leading alone was easier when everything was part of the job. Sending soldiers to their deaths, the inevitable curse of military leadership, was easier. She found herself wondering if she could do that with her current crew. What right did she have to do it? Other than Kaidan and Ashley, none of them were Alliance soldiers; Tali and Liara had not even been in a real conflict before she pulled them into the mission!

_The mission. _

That simple thought had never failed to calm her before. Whatever else happens, the mission needs to be completed. It helped her survive more than one "impossible" situation, it gave her the reputation she had. She had even just destroyed the last Rachni queen, ignoring its cries of anguish as she activated the acid tanks. No doubt she would have to deal with the fallout from the Council for such a "rash action", but she knew the species were simply too dangerous. Even if they did keep to themselves, the simple whisper of Rachni would cause enormous panic and probably bloodshed amongst the people of the Galaxy. The scale of the decision she had made weighed on her; it was genocide. But she could not afford to think like that. The Rachni were extinct, and had been for centuries. She had simply ensured they stayed that way. In the interests, as always, of _Galactic peace. _

But was she doing the right thing, hurling Liara and Tali into situations like this for the mission? Was she going to ruin them in the way she was ruined? Would she give them an order, knowing they would die, knowing they would trust her to bring them out safe?

As their tram neared its destination Shepard gently nudged the woman in her arms. She frowned as Liara just stirred and moved even closer into her. She looked at peace, and Shepard was loathe to bring her back into waking, where everything was fire and death. In the end she settled for awkwardly picking her up, her strong, battle-honed body easily carrying the small figure of the Asari. In any other circumstance it would have been ridiculous, but she was perversely enjoying the feeling of the young Asari's crest tickling her chin.

As they approached the ship, the Noveria Holding Company's security team wisely dissipating at a growl from a biotically glowing Wrex, she nodded her thanks at the team who had stayed quiet the whole way back. They respected Liara, and knew she had done what some of them might have failed to do. She deserved a few moments of peace.

The doctor was, as usual, waiting for them in the airlock. She immediately ran over to Shepard, who whispered:

'She's fine, sleeping. It's been... tough... for her today. I'll take her to my quarters so she has a decent bed to sleep on and I'll stay in the med bay tonight.'

The doctor quietly nodded and let them pass. Shepard carried Liara down to her quarters, ignoring the whispers of the bustling crew. Perhaps it was unprofessional to be seen doing what she was doing, but, for once, regulations could go to hell.

* * *

Liara stirred as she felt herself being laid down on the bed. She had woken up when they descended the stairs, but did not open her eyes for fear of having to confront the stares and questions of the crew. The fact that Shepard was cradling her rather pleasantly played no small part in the decision.

Shepard noticed her fluttering eyelids, and gave a small smile.

'You can stay here for a few days, if you want. You must be exhausted after everything.'

Liara's eyes snapped open. Was she suggesting...?

Shepard's dark eyes widened comically and she immediately began stuttering:

'Oh no, I didn't mean... I will stay in the med bay... I just meant this bed would be more comfortable for you!'

The human had turned a rather alarming shade of red. Liara had never seen this reaction before and her concern mixed with scientific curiosity somehow managed to banish the rather candid images Shepard's words had conjured.

'Are you hurt, Commander? You... appear to have changed colour!'

The red deepened, and Shepard let out a noise that was sounded like she was trying to cough whilst swallowing.

'Oh god... I'm fine Liara, it's a natural human reaction to... well, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. How are you feeling?'

She quietened for a moment, considering her own feelings. Seeing Shepard fuss over her had distracted her for the time, but as she thought back to her mother, spluttering her life blood over Liara's armour... she suddenly stood up and began frantically tugging on the straps still holding it in place. She felt dirty, guilty, and wanted, needed it **off**.

'Liara, are you ok?'

'I - I - I need...'

Shepard took her shaking hands and looked into her eyes, her voice soothing.

'Hey, hey calm down. I understand. I'll help you.'

Shepard released her hands and undid the straps with an expertise born of years of practice. Her gloves fell away first, then the shoulder pads. As the breastplate clattered to the ground, revealing the padded underarmour Ashley had given her, Shepard sharply drew in a breath.

'You're hurt, Liara.'

She looked down and saw a long wound along her flank. A stray bullet had breached her barrier and torn through both an area of the armour left soft for flexibility, and the underarmour. The wound was surrounded by dried blood; the advanced armour had applied a field application of medi-gel without her even noticing she had been injured.

Shepard squatted beside her and tenderly explored the wound, casting a practiced eye over it.

'It's a glancing hit, luckily the damage is superficial but it'll itch for a few days and you'll probably get a wicked looking scar. You should go and see the doctor to get it cleaned up.'

Liara looked down into Shepard's eyes, pleading. She did not want to see anybody else right now.

'Do I have to? I mean... could you...'

Shepard looked at the ground, most likely considering how serious the wound was. She looked back up and met Liara's imploring gaze.

'Sure, I have a field kit in here. Take off the rest of your armour, I'll fetch it.'

Liara quickly removed her boots and thigh guards, and after a few moments hesitation gently raised her top above the injury with a hiss as the fabric pulled at the dry blood, and lowered the waist band of the short, padded leggings.

Shepard turned from her locker and Liara saw her visibly steel her jaw and fix her eyes on the injury. She wondered what the action meant. She was baring a substantial amount of skin - was Shepard disgusted by her appearance? She knew many humans, as newcomers in the Galaxy, were not fond of the appearance of other species but she had read that Asari had a particular place amongst human sexuality as something "acceptably" alien. It could be that Shepard could not even find her physically appealing; Asari were mono-gendered but very similar in appearance and endowments to human females, who were most often attracted to the opposite sex.

These thoughts and a myriad of others scrambled around her mind as Shepard delicately cleaned and bandaged the wound. When the human stood up, she stood very close as though relieved to be looking at Liara's face rather than her body.

'If you want, you can use my shower. It's a proper hot water shower; I was reading about Asari and know you like water. It isn't quite an ocean, but it's better than the rest of the showers on this boat.'

_She was reading about Asari? Like I was reading about humans? _

'Like I said, you can stay in here for however long you like. I'll sleep in the med bay. You're also excused from any duties including ground teams.'

'Commander I-'

'You've been through a lot today Liara.'

'I... I know. And I appreciate your intent. However, I believe inactivity is not the best course of action for me right now; I would prefer to continue assisting in whatever way I can.'

Shepard considered for a moment, quickly coming to a decision.

'Well, since I don't actually know where the mission is going from here the point is moot. You can stay here tonight and I'll speak to you tomorrow about how you're feeling. Right now though, you should get some rest.'

'Very well. Thank you for everything, She-' She gave a shy smile, and risked; 'Faith.'

She visibly stiffened at the sound of her name, and quickly turned away from Liara.

Confused, Liara put a hand on Shepard's shoulder and spoke softly:

'I am sorry Shepard, I did not intend to upset you...'

'No Liara, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted. It's strange hearing somebody calling me that, I've started to imagine even my mother called me "Shepard".'

She turned back with a smile.

'It sounded good coming from you. Now, go shower before I change my mind about my generosity; I need to clean myself up too! I'll get you some clothes, and you don't have to come out to the Mess if you want to be alone tonight.'

The shower was wonderful. She did not know how long she spent under the hot water, washing away the horrors of the day. She had killed so many... killed her own mother... but talking with Shepard had helped. The woman had showed Liara a hidden part of herself, a shyness that Liara found incredibly endearing. It helped, knowing that she had somebody she could rely on, whatever happened.

It was with great regret and a small measure of guilt that she finally activated the drying cycle when the ship's VI informed her that she had exceeded the recommended weekly quota of hot water.

Liara found herself feeling surprisingly energetic as she exited the small bathroom. Fresh from the shower and her nap earlier, she felt reborn as she walked naked across the Commander's cabin to the small pile of soft clothes on the desk. Shepard had even removed the battered and dirty armour from her room. Liara felt very pleased with how she had been gifted the use of Faith's name and her smile only widened as, considering what to do with her wakefulness, she saw that Shepard had also laid out a small meal, a glass of orange juice and a small data disk used to transfer documents such as books to readers, with said reader beside it. She quickly loaded it up and, despite everything, beamed as she saw the title flash across the screen.

_Earth's Ancient Wonders._

Forgetting the food and clothes entirely, she curled up in the bed and lost herself in the stories and pictures of Earth's history.

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Thank you for reading, and double thank you to those who have taken the time to review. _

_I found this chapter more difficult to write than any of my previous ones, so any and all feedback and suggestions will be very much appreciated!_


	9. Fears

_**A/N: **Due to popular demand, please enjoy a slight change in my normal structure for this chapter :-)_

* * *

_Shepard quietly entered her cabin after she had finished her rounds. She, like everybody else, was tired from the seemingly endless battles of the day but she wanted to check on Liara, who was understandably in a worse shape than the rest. Whispering Liara's name to check if she was awake, the sight that greeted her lit up her face with an affectionate smile. Liara had fallen asleep in bed whilst reading, the datapad plastered against her face. Warm memories flooded her, and as she had done countless times with her sister Joy a lifetime ago, she rescued Liara from the offending object, instinctively reaching to tuck the errant lock of hair behind her ear, stopping both at the inappropriateness of the gesture, and the fact that Liara had no hair. Or ears. _

_She gazed at the sleeping woman for a long time. When she was awake her face was twisted with the realities of what was happening to her and her family, but right now she looked like the young woman she was. Her features were delicate but containing an underlying strength, like some of the old noble families of Earth. Her skin was a lighter shade than many of the Asari she had met, and in the dim light of the cabin the unusual scaling looked all the more pronounced. Glancing down at her exposed shoulder, she realised the woman was bare underneath the blankets. She had to restrain herself from jumping up and vacating, just as she had earlier when Liara had stripped down while Shepard cleaned her wound. _

_The feelings were tearing at her. She knew she was woefully inexperienced when it came to romance, and knew that now was __**definitely **__not the time to be thinking about broadening her horizons. To top it off, she was conflicted at the notion of being attracted to an Asari. Her being an alien was slightly strange, but what bothered her more was that she was female, or near enough. Shepard held no prejudices in either regard, but had simply never found women attractive, preferring the stronger forms of men. And yet, Liara's curves under the thin sheet were giving her stirrings not any of the women she had trained, lived and worked with during her military career could have managed._

_She should not allow herself to be distracted like this. Getting so attached would only cause pain, when she had to choose between Liara and another crew mate, when she had to decide who to send on what she knew would be a suicide mission, when she took a risk she could not handle to get Liara to safety. Only a matter of time before somebody died because she was too busy thinking about her own selfish desires._

_The maelstrom of conflicted feelings still whirling through her, she took a final look at Liara's beautiful, sleeping features, then silently left the room._

* * *

Shepard's team sat in the six chairs set in a circle around the communication room, with the woman herself standing by the screen at the back.

'Does _nobody _have anything?'

It had been two days since Noveria, two days of fruitless research, chasing down dead end leads and growing frustrations. Benezia's information had given them an idea of where to start: the previously lost Mu Relay, but the relay led to dozens of systems and without a better idea of where they were actually going, the search could be weeks or months of fruitless trial and error.

Tali gently pitched in. 'I have heard reports of Geth in the Armstrong Nebula, perhaps we could investigate...'

'We've heard dozens of reports like that Tali, we can't go chasing them all down. We need something more concrete. Besides, we could spend weeks hunting Geth and it wouldn't bring us any closer to completing the mission. We need to find a lead on Saren, not his lackeys.'

Her voice had a hard edge, and Tali shrunk a little under the scrutiny. Visibly taking a deep breath, Shepard's next words were softer.

'Sorry Tali, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I know you wouldn't tell me unless you're convinced it's important. Tell me about the Geth.'

'O-OK Shepard. Thank you. There have been scattered sightings of Geth in each of the systems in the cluster. There are also reports that the Geth are acting strangely; hiding and biding their time rather than just attacking as they usually do. I got in touch with Alliance Command and they are going to investigate, but they said if you think it is important to your mission they will allow you to go in first. I think that considering how consistent the reports are across the cluster, and the fact that the Geth are acting strangely, it is worth seeing what they are doing. We know that Saren is behind most of the Geth attacks in one way or another; if they are planning something substantial there may be useful intel to pick up.'

She was twisting her hands furiously as she spoke, a habit Liara noted was only present when she was speaking. In front of an engine or in the middle of battle she would act as though she was born into it.

'Thanks Tali. That sounds like it's our best lead right now. We'll check out one of the reports and see if it leads to anything. Joker, set a course based on Tali's data. Everybody else, if the data is good I'll be taking you down on a three man rotation; Tali, Liara and Kaidan first, so get some rest. Dismissed.'

As the crew filed out of the room to their bunks or the armoury, Liara glanced back at Shepard. She was staring intently at the representation of the Galaxy map on the screen, and as she watched the woman brought her hands up and massaged her temples. Liara stayed out of the others' way, and when the room was empty walked back and placed a hand on the woman's shoulder.

'Liara. How are you doing? Are you sleeping well?'

'Yes, thank you Faith, I was going to let you have your cabin back tonight. In truth I am more worried about you. It was... most unlike you to speak to Tali as you did.' The woman winced at her words, knowing them to be the truth.

'I know Liara, it's just all starting to get to me. Do you know that both Wrex and Garrus have come to me asking to run on a personal detour for them? When Tali said that it sounded just like she wanted it too... I'll apologise properly to her later, she didn't deserve that.'

'They asked you to do something for them? What did they ask? What did you tell them?'

'Wrex has been looking for a family heirloom for decades. He recently learned that a merc has it, and he wants me to stop off to "liberate" it. Garrus told me about a criminal that got away during his time at C-Sec-'

'Doctor Saleon? He told me about him as well.'

'That's right. He found him and wants to kill him. I told them both the mission was too important, that it will have to wait.'

'Do you really think that?'

She sighed, and turned towards Liara. Her dark eyes were troubled, and her normally tightly bound hair was looking slightly dishevelled.

'I don't know, Liara. It's normally so simple for me. I do the job, everybody gets a medal, I get patched up and promoted in time for the next one, leaving most of the old team behind. I haven't ever felt as close to a crew as I do you and the others.' She sounded genuinely frightened by this. Liara knew she had difficulty in forming friendships, that she used her professionalism as a defence against the kind of hurt she felt after Mindoir. 'I really want to help them, but I feel like it would be admitting that... what we have is more than just a professional relationship, that it would be the start of something a lot more. And I don't know if I can do that.'

Liara gave her a smile, one she hoped would reassure her, just as Shepard's mere presence reassured the rest of them.

'Look at the team you have built, Faith. A repentant Krogan mercenary. A renegade C-Sec officer. A young Quarian exploring the Galaxy. Your human military crew, working with a team of aliens. We all trust you, as our Commander and our friend. Whether you have realised it or not, we are _not _an ordinary crew, and our relationship passed purely professional some time ago.'

Shepard looked down, and when she looked back she had an endearingly shy smile on her face.

'You forgot the beautiful scientist.'

A heartbeat.

_Did she just say that?_

Shepard looked as shocked as Liara felt at the words.

'Erm...'  
'I should...'  
'Yeah...'  
'I'm just going to...'

Liara could not say who spluttered what, and once more Shepard's skin took on a pink hue. Liara looked into her dark eyes for long moments, and saw the turmoil, the fear, and something else, something more primal, behind it. She felt the familiar tickling at the back of her head at the sight. After what could have been seconds, minutes, or longer, Shepard cleared her throat.

'Thanks for the talk, Liara, I need to go. I'll think about what you said.'

Her brain still in a daze, Liara's response made little sense to her own ears.

'I will think about what you said as well.'

Shepard turned a deeper red, and left the room, walking a little faster than normal. Liara groaned as she thought back to what the Commander had said to her, that she would now "think about".

'Goddess, I am _so_ dense!'

* * *

'By the Goddess, is it always like this?'

Karin Chakwas looked over at the young Asari and gave a sympathetic nod.

'I'm afraid so, Liara. You don't have to stay here if, you look worse than you would if you were down there.'

'No! No... I want to stay. I need to make sure they are ok.'

They were sitting together in the medical bay, watching the medical feedback from the ground team's suits. The marvellous technology allowed the doctor to monitor the state of the crew, and suitably prepare the medical bay for whatever injuries were received on the ground. Shepard, Williams, Wrex and Garrus were currently on the ground, wiping out another Geth force.

Liara was, rather obviously, focused on only one feedback. The young Asari's fascination with the Commander was rather charming to watch, and the doctor had barely restrained herself from giving Shepard anything more than a gentle teasing when she had slept in the medical bay for several nights after Noveria. It was clear she cared a lot for Liara as well, but was considerably more conflicted about it. Her time as a military doctor left a lot of unhappy memories; it was good to see something positive in the world, even in the midst of battle and death. Normally fraternisation on a military vessel was frowned upon, but she had seen enough death to be of the opinion that life should be embraced whenever possible.

Shepard's heart rate suddenly spiked, and the feed noted a localised dose of medi-gel.

'Oh! What does that mean? Is she hurt?'

The doctor looked at the scrolling text and sighed.

'I'm afraid she's been shot. Again.' Liara blanched, and Karin quickly reassured her.

'Upper arm, it doesn't look too serious. Do you want to help me get the medical bay ready for when they get back?'

'I... I think I need to do something to distract myself. How do you do this, every day?'

'Practice, dear. It never gets any easier, but it helps to know that many soldiers still have their lives because of me.'

_And many, despite your efforts, do not._

When they finished laying out the necessary equipment to treat a gunshot wound, Chakwas noted that the heart rates were dropping, meaning they had probably finished their mission and would be heading back.

'They are on their way back now, Liara.'

Liara still looked nervous, and she felt a rather maternal affection. Caring for so many soldiers had hardened her somewhat, and the gentle Asari was a pleasant relief from the gruffness she usually encountered.

'I will leave you to your work, Doctor, I shall wait in the lab.'

She stopped the woman from turning away and gave her a smile.

'I don't think the Commander will object to your presence.'

* * *

'Commander, if you insist on getting yourself injured every time you go out, people will start thinking it is an excuse to have me look after you.'

Shepard's injury was not severe and she would regain full use of her arm in less than a day, but for now she was bound up and needed help with any task that required both hands, such as tidying her hair. Liara was sitting on the bed behind her, thoroughly enjoying the unusual sensation in her fingers as Shepard gave cues on how to tie it the way she liked.

'I thought having you sleep in my cabin would put a stop any rumours like that!' She sounded genuinely outraged; Liara was thrilled to discover that the woman had a wonderful sense of humour that she rarely let out.

'You make a fair point.' She gently brushed the bandage, trying not to think that a couple of inches were the difference between a flesh wound and a fatality. 'What happened this time?'

'I got a little cocky with a Prime unit. Turns out they can spin around at the hip, did you know that? It got me as a slipped behind it. Luckily Garrus was able to fry its shields, and Wrex actually tackled it. Pretty impressive really, you should have been there.'

'No doubt that would be too much excitement for me.'

'Don't kid yourself, T'Soni, I've seen you fight. You love squashing those tin cans.'

Liara felt blissfully happy at how comfortably she and Shepard were joking with each other. She was concerned about things being awkward after the talk in the communication room, but her fears were quickly put to rest at how the Commander's face had brightened, almost imperceptibly, when she saw Liara was waiting for her in the medical bay.

After a moment of comfortable silence, she spoke again, the joviality mostly gone from her voice.

'I thought about what you said, Liara. I've decided to help Garrus and Wrex. It shouldn't take more than a day to hit both targets, but that isn't really the point. You're right, this crew _is_ different, _is_ special, and I want to show how grateful I am to them for sticking with me. You should have seen the expressions on their faces when I told them. I didn't think Turians could smile but I swear Garrus was trying.'

'That is wonderful news, Faith, will we be going straight away?'

'No, Tali's intel on these Geth was good, they are definitely up to something and I want to know what it is. I'll have Alenko lead the rest of you on the ground to clear out the next base. I have a question to ask you, Liara, about Garrus.'

'What is it?'

'When we get to Doctor Saleon's ship, Garrus is going to want to kill him. I don't want to interfere in what will be his mission, but I want your opinion.'

Liara knew the young Turian struggled with his ideas of justice, but believed that he was a good man.

'I think you should have Garrus talk to him, then let him decide. I do not doubt that killing him will feel like justice at the time, but it may lead to a dark path if he continues. If he kills even one innocent it may destroy the good in him and drive him to bitterness. Talking with him will force Garrus to confront the feelings he has, rather than simply indulge them.'

'I agree. I can see where he comes from in his arguments; it sounds like C-Sec has even more regulations than the Alliance, but they are there for a reason and it isn't to let criminals get away. Most are there for the protection of the officers as much as those around them. I'll take your advice, Liara, thank you.'

She smiled.

'I'm sure we will come across something valuable for Tali at some point, as a gift for her pilgrimage. What about you? Is there anything the easily distractable SPECTRE can do for you, Liara? You've been through so much since I dragged you into this mess, and I wish there was some way I could make it up to you.'

The only things she could think of, were terribly inappropriate.

'You are kind, Faith, but I do not wish anything.' Another thought occurred to her. 'Well, perhaps you could answer a question?'

'You're a low maintenance girl, Liara. Go ahead.'

'What do you plan to do when this mission is over?'

She fell silent, for quite some time. Apparently the thought had not occurred to her.

'You know, I'm honestly not sure. I know hardly anything about the SPECTREs; I assume the Council will want to give me some proper training about what my duties involve once this mission is over. I hear some of them don't even get missions; the Council trusts them implicitly to wander the Galaxy, following their own leads and doing what is necessary. But I'll probably get a few more missions like this before that happens. I will probably also get some briefings from the Alliance since they like to keep close tabs on me. I imagine it'll all be a bit dull for a while. Why do you ask?'

'What about the crew?' Liara's heart started beating faster as she realised what the conclusion of this conversation, started as mere curiosity, would be.

'It's up to them, really. Tali will want to go back to her people, and the Alliance will probably want the Normandy and her crew, including Kaidan and Ashley, back. Wrex, Garrus and yourself? I honestly don't know. Is there somewhere you want to go?'

'I...'

_You can do this _

'If you would not object, I would like to stay with you.'

'You... want to stay with me? Why? What about your studies?'

'For most of my life, I have been battling to get funding and recognition for something people do not care about. The only time people took notice was when I unearthed some technology that could be replicated and sold. The last few weeks, however... difficult... they may have been for me, I feel that I am really making a difference, that I am helping people. I feel like I have a true place in the Galaxy. Helping you, a SPECTRE, is a worthy life to live, I believe.'

Sitting as she was behind her, still toying with the woman's hair, she could not see Shepard's expressions and had to fight the absurd urge to turn her head to see what she was thinking. She was almost glad the annoyingly perceptive woman could not see her, however, as she may judge that what she had just said was not the whole truth.

'You have seen I am not incapable in a fight, and I hope I displayed some competence in information gathering regarding Noveria, and-'

'You don't need to prove yourself to me, Liara.' She sat back, and met Liara's eyes. Liara hoped the trembling she felt was not obvious to the woman.

'If you're sure that's what you want, I'd _love_ to have you at my side.'


	10. Growing

'Liara, behind you!'

She reflexively ducked, spinning on her heel, and brought her Tempest machine pistol to bear on the Geth unit that had dropped from the sky behind her. Before it had a chance to fully "unpack" she opened fire, and its chestplate disintegrated under the heavy barrage. A second burst must have destroyed something important, as it fell to the ground with a pitiful whirring. Ashley was right about the destructive capability of the weapon.

She ran towards the nearest barricade, cursing herself for leaving herself so open, and shouted out.

'Thank you, Kaidan!'

Investigating the fourth and hopefully final Geth outpost in the Armstrong Cluster was quickly turning sour. Kaidan had led the team in the Mako to the top of a mountain to the source of the readings, but there was a blizzard rendering visibility nearly zero, and the Geth had a dropship in atmosphere, constantly reinforcing the units on the ground.

A stray rocket had smashed the tread on the Mako and Kaidan had ordered them out of the stationary target, with only Ashley volunteering to stay behind on the turret. Now, in a defensive position around some of the cleared barricades, the team were waiting for the Normandy to blow the dropship out of the sky. Liara felt the thrumming of biotics to her right, and saw a Geth unit flying through the snow from that direction. As it hit the ground at her feet, she Warped its "head" into a heap of scrap metal and the machine stopped moving.

Not even knowing who threw it, she called out:

'Enemy down!'

'We can't stay out here, we'll get torn apart!' Wrex's voice boomed over the heavy rattling from the Mako's turret.

'Alenko, we can't see a damn thing, we need to fall back!' That was Garrus, squatting behind the tank, frustrated at how the blizzard was rendering his formidable marksmanship useless.

'No! We hold the position, and when the Normandy tags that dropship we press forward!'

'That's suicide!'

Kaidan ran, hunched over, to Garrus' location and grabbed him by the collar.

'That's an order, Vakarian!'

As if on cue, the sky lit up through the storm and their comms buzzed to life with Joker's voice, sounding far too cheerful for the situation.

_**Yeeha! Dropship is toast!**_

Releasing but still glaring at Garrus, eyes hidden by the helmets they were all wearing, Kaidan called out:

'Ashley, covering fire! Wrex and Tali on me! Liara and Garrus, follow us, watch our flanks!'

The Mako's cannon roared to life again, hopefully disintegrating some Geth that only the advanced sensors in the vehicle could pick up through the storm, and Kaidan charged ahead with Wrex at his side, Tali close behind them tapping her omni-tool. After several seconds she nodded towards Garrus, and they set off together, she covering left and he right. They held a tight formation pressing forwards, picking off the occasional Geth, but soon they found themselves increasingly surrounded by the remaining units.

Liara saw a cluster of the machines and generated a Singularity, lifting them all off of their feet and pulling them together.

'Kaidan, nine o'clock!' He looked over his shoulder and without hesitation detonated the biotic field, sending shrapnel and circuits flying. While he was distracted, a pair of Rocket Troopers appeared ahead of them and opened fire, directly at the tightly packed group.

Wrex roared out 'Incoming!' and managed to biotically punch one out of the sky in a terrific display of control, and the team scattered as the remaining missile flew towards them. Liara felt herself lifted off of her feet with warmth at her back, and was thrown to the ground, not gently. The helmet's aural filters blocked out the majority of the noise from the explosion, but she struggled to see straight as she tried to right herself. Limbs weak, she forced herself into a kneeling position in time to see Wrex charging towards the two red plated units. One of them managed to reload and fire another shot before he reached them, but he was glimmering with a biotic barrier as it erupted on his chest, barely slowing him. He grabbed the other unit and smashed it into its partner, its reload misfiring and once again engulfing Wrex in flames. When the fire died down, Liara was amazed to see Wrex still standing, armour hanging off of him in pieces and blood freezing as it seeped from a dozen wounds. Krogan resilience was a thing of legend, and Wrex seemed determined to prove just how strong his people were. Looking around, Liara saw that the storm was clearing slightly, and there did not appear to be any more Geth. Ashley's voice confirmed it.

'Sensors dark, they're all gone.'

Kaidan's voice, trembling from the shock, filled their helmets.

'Status report. Are you all ok?'

'I am unharmed, Kaidan.'  
'All ok back here, LT'  
'Fine, Alenko.'

Wrex trundled up to Kaidan, the eyepieces of his helmet shattered, giving him a terrifying visage.

'What the hell were you thinking, charging us into the open like that? You're damned lucky we weren't all killed!' Garrus hummed in agreement.

'Stand down Wrex! The mission was a success.'

'Thanks to me! You should all be dead!'

'I said stand down!'

Out of the corner of her eye, Liara saw that one of the crew had not moved since the blast.

'Tali!'

Immediately forgetting their disagreement, Kaidan and Wrex ran over to the prone form, turning her over. Her faceplate was cracked and she was not moving. Kaidan ran his omni-tool over her still body, and gave a sigh of relief.

'She's alive, unconscious. I don't think there's been a suit breach or any other damage, but we need to get her back to Chakwas right away.'

'Normandy, this is ground team. Send an emergency evac shuttle; Tali's unconscious but I think otherwise unharmed, and Wrex is exposed to the atmosphere. The Mako is damaged so we need to recover it as well.'

Wrex grunted 'I'm fine', before wandering to the shelter the tank provided. His communication system was damaged, but Liara could hear him muttering disparaging remarks about Kaidan as he left.

When the shuttle arrived, Liara volunteered to stay behind with Kaidan as they waited for the pick up of the Mako. It was difficult to tell through the helmets, but the man's body language spoke that he was troubled.

'You OK, Liara?'

'Yes, thank you Kaidan.'

'I think I messed up today.' His voice was thick with concern.

'What do you mean? The mission was a success, and I am sure Tali will be fine.'

'I took a stupid risk with that charge. It's what Shepard would have done, but she could have pulled it off better than I. I was trying to prove myself to her and just messed it up.'

Liara was not sure what to say. She had fought under Kaidan several times now and he was right; the manoeuvre was one that the Commander would have made. Kaidan's style was more cautious, relying on having the enemy step into traps and crossfire rather than the aggressive assaults Shepard preferred.

'I am sure everything will be fine, Kaidan. The mission was complete, and we are all ok.'

He sighed.

'Yeah, you're probably right. But I bet Shepard's going to chew my ass out for this.'

_What a peculiar phrase._

'Might I ask, Kaidan, what inspired your particularly... dramatic... manoeuvre?'

He chuckled, but she could hear that he was still nervous.

'Shepard and I had a talk the other day, about where I'm going in the Alliance. You were there when I told her I want to stay in the field, and I still do. Something she said... well, she said not to try to be something I'm not. Maybe I took it the wrong way.'

'It is good advice, Lieutenant. Shepard values you for what you are, not for what you want to be.'

'She said that? You two have been spending quite a lot of time together recently. Did... did she say anything else about me?'

She put a gloved hand on the man's broad, armoured shoulder, hoping to comfort him.

'She said you are a good man, Kaidan, and fight for the right reasons. She thinks she is lucky to have someone like you on her team.'

Liara's mind suddenly registered the subtext of what he was asking. Had Shepard shown an interest in the Lieutenant? Had she said anything to Liara? Had she misread the Commander's earlier signals?

As the Normandy picked up the damaged Mako, Liara's thoughts remained troubled.

* * *

'Dammit Shepard, why not?'

Garrus strode up to the woman, who was nearly two feet shorter than him. He felt his anger boiling up as she denied his request.

'You said this would be my mission!'

She remained infuriatingly calm as she met his eyes, completely without fear.

'And you're asking me to use the Normandy to destroy a civilian ship without even confirming who is onboard. Think about it, Garrus!'

His anger subsided as he considered her words. She was right, as always. There could be any number of innocent people on the ship, and he had just asked her to destroy it without a second thought.

_Is this what you have become?_

'We'll board the ship and find Doctor Saleon. It's pretty small so I don't want everybody down; you and a biotic. Can I bring Liara?'

'Of course I will accompany you, Garrus.' Her melodious voice rang out as she approached from behind them.

'Thanks, Liara.' The young Asari had come a long way from the nervous prisoner they had picked up on Therum, and Garrus was relieved Shepard had not gotten rid of her. She was very capable in a fight, and despite the suspicion heaped on her, had never failed to make frequent tours of the ship, talking to the Alliance crew and Shepard's non-human team. When she had shot her own mother to protect Shepard, his respect for her only grew. She was dedicated and firm in her beliefs, despite being obviously affected by the battles and death they encountered almost daily. A weaker person might have hesitated, or even switched sides.

She was working wonders with Shepard as well. They spent a lot of time talking with each other, and Garrus did not think it coincidence that the human was far less uptight as of late; willing to joke with him and share more about herself than she had when they first met.

'Let's get kitted up, I want to see what's on there. The ship isn't answering any hails, and it seems to be out of fuel as well. Hopefully we can just get it done and get out.'

'What do you plan on doing with him if he is alive?' The pitch of her voice belied the wide, innocent blue eyes fixed to his face. She did not approve, that much was obvious. He could see Shepard give her a curious look out of the corner of his eye.

'I told you what this man did, Liara. He needs to pay for his crimes.' He would not waver in his justice.

'And what if he is repentant? What if he is half starved and needs help?'

'This is pointless! We'll see when we are on board. Why are you asking me these things?'

'Because you are a good man, Garrus, and should not let thoughts of vengeance consume you.'

He flicked his mandibles in frustration. As always, the doubts came when his methods were questioned. He was always so sure that he was doing the right thing, but when people starting asking questions, like Liara was, the surety melted away. If people he liked, such as Liara, and people he respected, like Shepard, disapproved of him, what did that say? The only person on board who would agree with him was Wrex, a mercenary so jaded by war that there was little left in him but bitterness. Was that his future?

X-X

He lined up his sights, catching the sickly blue eyes of the creature stumbling towards Liara's cover. A gentle squeeze of the trigger saw its head exploding in an unnatural burst of viscous goop.

'Why can't it ever be easy?'

'Never is, Vakarian!' Shepard had one of the creatures speared on her omni-blade, and shoved her shotgun into its mouth. She looked away as she pulled the trigger and the side of her helmet was sprayed with the innards of its skull.

Whatever Garrus had expected to find on the ship, this was not it. They had boarded at the hold, and as soon as they disembarked were set upon by... _zombies_. He had a peculiar love of the unusual human cultural phenomenon, and his small apartment at the Citadel had dozens of the old movies, including of course the Turian remakes of some of the classics. But when the first shambling, barely identifiable forms had shuffled from behind the crates, he felt a very unwelcome fear crawl down his spine.

The creatures looked human, but their skin was a pallid grey and they approached, arms outstretched and with a painful looking shuffle, groaning just like the creatures in his films. Shepard had tried to talk to one of them, only to be grabbed as it tried, ineffectually, to claw through her armour. Fully accepting her role as his subordinate on this mission, she had held it back with one hand and drew a gun to its head with the other. She had looked towards Garrus, who nodded, wanting to put the thing out of its own misery as much as protect the team. He realised it was the first time he had actually given the order for somebody else to kill something. The feeling was not pleasant.

The monsters were painfully slow and had nothing in the way of tactics or survival instincts, but there were a lot of the bastards and they had been forced to take up a defensive position around the dropship. They were in little danger individually, but he had seen enough movies to know that being overwhelmed by the creatures was a sure way to get hurt.

_Tactics from human fiction? What would your father say?_

As the final creature dropped, crushed by Liara's biotics, he could not help but release the horrific tension he had built up. He laughed, hard. The two women were looking at him curiously as he dismounted his sniping post.

'Damn, sorry, but... Spirits, Shepard, do you watch old human horror movies?'

It was clear she was as shaken as him, perhaps even more so as the forms were clearly once human, and apparently wanted to cope in the same way.

'Don't tell me you're into zombie movies, Vakarian!'

'A guilty pleasure. Don't tell my Dad or he'll eat me.'

'Please... don't talk about zombies and cannibalism in the same sentence.' Her deadpan delivery threw him for a second, before they both burst out laughing again.

'I feel I have missed something. What is a "zom-bie"? Have you encountered creatures like this before?'

Liara sounded absolutely put out that she had missed the joke.

'No, nothing like that Liara. My species has a very curious taste in how we entertain ourselves and these... things... look a lot like the walking dead from our old horror stories: we call them zombies. Apparently Garrus here is a fan of the genre.'

They bantered for a few more minutes, each obviously relieved to be able to joke about something that, otherwise, was absolutely monstrous. The thought darkened his mood.

'I don't know about you, Shepard, but if Saleon is somehow responsible for these things, I think he needs to pay for it.'

Her voice was toneless as she answered, and he vaguely wished he could see her facial expressions through the helmet.

'It's your call, Garrus. Lead on.'

* * *

Liara stood in front of the door for several moments, collecting her thoughts on what she was going to say, before pressing the alert.

'Come in', the familiar voice called.

As Faith saw who it was, Liara could see her features light up. The last few missions had been tough on her, in more ways than one. Completing a mission was one thing, but doing a favour for a friend... this was something entirely new to the woman. Both Garrus and Wrex had their satisfaction, in one way or another, and Shepard had given Tali the data taken from the Geth outpost in the Armstrong Cluster. Liara had been there when Faith presented the gift; the young Quarian had hugged Shepard, a gesture Liara knew she was not comfortable with. And yet, seeing Shepard's smiling, almost tearful face as she left Engineering was worth all of the trouble they had endured to get it, even if it had led to no new information on Saren.

'Liara, I'm glad to see you. It's been a hell of a few days, I could do with a few moments to myself.'

_Does she mean...?_

'You wish to be alone?'

She chuckled.

'No Liara, I meant it'll be nice to have some time to do something for _me_ right now. And talking with you is the best thing I can think of. It's a bit selfish, but I hope you don't mind.'

There was a compliment in the statement, despite Faith's awkwardness in presenting it, and Liara felt another pang of affection for the woman. She looked far more casual than Liara had ever seen her; in cargo trousers and a Tshirt rather than the high necked officer's uniform she usually wore. Her hair was tied back into a tail rather than its usual tight knot, trailing down the back of her neck. She was sitting on the side of her bed, surrounded by data pads but currently focusing all of her attention on Liara. The deep gaze drew her in, dark brown eyes like black holes. Liara knew she had some business, and broke the moment with a half minded question, shoving data pads out of the way and sitting beside her.

'Did you talk with Garrus?'

Faith looked down, and Liara felt a pang of guilt for breaking the invisible bond.

'Yeah. He's pretty torn up about what happened. I... I feel a bit bad for saying so, but I'm glad he reacted how he did.'

Liara agreed, thinking back to the moment they confronted Doctor Saleon.

_'Doctor Saleon?'_

_The Salarian jumped, and spouted his response in the quick fashion of his kind._

_'Saleon? No, you are mistaken, I am Doctor Heart! Thank you for saving me from those monsters, you-'_

_'Save it, Saleon. I know who you are, and I'm pretty sure you know why I'm here.__ You'll pay for your crimes.' He raised his pistol to the man's head._

_'You... you can't mean!'_

_Garrus had looked to Shepard, who offered nothing more than a blank return gaze. This was **his** mission._

_The crack of the gun had echoed through the silent, deserted ship._

_After several seconds, Garrus muttered 'Let's go'. The Normandy blew the remains of the ship out of the sky. Whatever research had created the monsters that attacked them, died with him._

'It was a tough call, Liara, not the one I would have made. But I've been around a bit; more than he has for all of his stories of tragedies on the Citadel. I think what he did will force him to revisit some ideas he thought sacred. I hope it forces him to become the man he has in him, and that the shot stays with him forever. It'll remind him what can become of those who lose control. We all have that moment; the one that drives us.'

It was a harsh lesson to learn, but for somebody like Garrus, perhaps the only way he could learn it. He was hoping Shepard would back him up, or argue with him, but her neutrality _forced_ him to accept the consequences of his actions.

They were quiet for a moment, both wishing well that their mutual friend would find his path in life. As Liara was about to ask her question, Faith spoke up in a quiet voice.

'I lied to you, you know.'

_About what? _The question rang inside her, but she remained silent. It sounded like something Faith needed to say on her own terms.

'About my family. You asked if I knew what happened to my sisters and the colony, and I said no. I lied to you, and I'm sorry for doing so. The memories are... hard... but I want you to know the truth. You've accepted so much my life that I've kept hidden, and you don't deserve lies about the rest.

'Everything I told you about my home was true, including my rescue and Alliance training.

'I was pretty reserved during Basic, focusing on my training and education rather than the stuff my classmates cared about; sex and a good time. I was the only one who signed up for a reason other than "because it seemed fun".

'I rose pretty quickly through the ranks. I know I'm a damn fine field operative, and got N7 faster than anybody else, even Anderson. I had a reputation for getting the dirty missions nobody else wanted to do, done. I didn't really care about who I was fighting or why; I trusted the Alliance completely, to guide me.

'But... the big change came at Torfan. When I was given the assignment, it seemed pretty similar to most. Bastards dug in, they wanted me to clear them out. But when I was looking through the reports I saw that it was the same damned Batarians that hit my home. Nearly a thousand of them, and they gave me a couple of hundred men to do it. God damn impossible mission, I reckon it was designed from the start to fail to give the Alliance more leverage to build more fleets or something but I don't really know. I'm just a grunt.

'Anyway, when we landed, the Batarians made a pretty good show of the fact that they weren't messing around. They dragged one of their slaves to the top of their barricades, and executed her, threatening to do the same with the rest.'

Liara looked at her friend, and saw the pain in her eyes. She placed a comforting hand over hers; about all she could do under the circumstances.

'It was my youngest sister, Grace.'

_Oh Goddess... _

'They couldn't have known who she was to me, or anybody. Just a pretty young human, sacrificed to show some strength. It'd been nearly ten years since I saw her; she had turned from a girl into a woman, but I knew it was her. Straight away. I don't know why the bastards kept rather than sold her, I don't want to know.

'I... I lost it, Liara. The mission was a disaster. I should have fallen back, or requested reinforcements to assault a bunker the strength they had. But I just saw them, executing my sister, and ordered the attack.

'You've probably done some research on me, I know I would have. Butcher, Hero, whatever, all the names stuck to me for that mission. I sent nearly a hundred men and women to their deaths to wipe out the bastards who killed my sister. I clubbed a soldier to the ground for disobeying orders. I bet that isn't in the reports. He knew what I told him to do would be suicide, but I forced him to do it anyway. Because I needed to know what happened to everybody else.

'I just... charged in. Got a squad of Vanguards behind me, and we tore the place to pieces while my men died to keep the bulk of the forces off me. Alliance said they had never seen anything like the damage our assault team did to the place. When we ruptured their armouries the last few dozen of them surrendered. I just remembered my sister dropping to the ground with a hole in her head, thinking something like "they want to play a game of war and quit when they lose", and thought that was_ not_ right. I shot a few myself, and ordered my men, who were damned furious by now, to kill the rest. No survivors. The mission brief had no mention of gathering intel; that's probably the only reason I'm not locked up right now.'

She was shaking now. Liara placed a hesitant arm around the woman's shoulder, and hummed in what she hoped was a reassuring fashion. Her body was warm against Liara's; cheap regulation fabric doing a poor job at keeping body temperature regulated.

'The rest... I just stood there, cold as ice, and reported the mission the Alliance Command. I raided the cells afterwards. Torfan had some pretty heavy duty mines, and there were a lot of slaves there to work them.'

She leant in closer to Liara, still looking down, still keeping her hands clamped together.

'They had executed them all when we attacked. Figured that a lost "investment" was better than an uprising while they fought us off. All dead, killed by some device in their head the second we attacked. They were all sitting, chained together in cells, faces twisted into something horrible. Hundreds and hundreds of Humans, Salarians, a few Asari, even other Batarians. Joy was amongst them, and a few others from the colony. I...I failed them. They might have still been alive if I'd done something else, forced the Batarians to surrender somehow, anything.'

_She blames herself for that? It was clearly not her fault!_

'Oh Faith, it wasn't you, you must know that.' She knew it sounded hollow, that it would take more than words to uproot such a deeply held belief.

She stayed silent, still looking at her hands. Liara reached up and placed a hand under her chin, fingers trailing across her jawline as she raised the woman's eyes to meet her own.

_'It was not your fault' _She tried to muster all of the authority she could into the statement. There was not anything else she could say that Faith had no doubt already said to herself, so she would be here, and accept her anyway. Perhaps it would help.

'Thank you for being here, Liara.'

'After all you have done for me, I only wish there was more I could do.'

She smiled, transforming her previously gloomy features into something wonderful. Her smile was not broad and wide, like the other humans on the ship, but a more graceful, subtle curling of the lips, that, when serious, set her eyes dancing as well.

'You've done more than you know. Thanks to you, Garrus is considering rejoining C-Sec once this is all over. Wrex has his grandfather's armour. I probably wouldn't have even given Tali that data if it wasn't for your influence. I'm so lucky to have you as a friend, Liara. Thank you, for everything.'

There it was. The opening. It was not how she had planned to raise it, but she could not let it go unsaid any longer. She could feel her voice trembling as she spoke.

'Sometimes... sometimes I feel that there is something...'

_Just say it!_

'Something between us that is more than friendship, Faith.'

The woman immediately broke away from the gentle embrace, shuffling away from Liara along the bed. Her voice sounded flustered.

'There must be something in the air, Kaidan said something similar earlier, I had to inform him otherwise, I-'

Liara let out a small sigh of relief. Kaidan's boldness was no doubt an unintended consequence of what Liara had said earlier. But she would not let the woman deflect the unasked question. She took hold of her rapidly retreating hand and looked into her eyes, which were flickering like those of a trapped animal. Liara knew she had to be careful, not to force her back into the shell she had drawn her from.

'Please, Faith, I must know. Am I right?'

'I can't... please don't ask me that Liara...' She sounded absolutely terrified; like young Faith, rather than Commander Shepard.

'It is OK, Faith, please, do not go, just tell me if I am wrong and I will understand, I-'

'No! I mean, no, you...' She took a deep breath. Liara's heart was pounding so loudly she imagined she would not hear the response. But she could.

'You aren't wrong Liara, I... feel something too. Please... please don't ask for anything more than that right now.'

She stood up and practically fled the room, leaving Liara, breathless, alone in the cabin. A heady mixture of elation, confusion, worry and excitement whirled through her as she celebrated Faith's admission, and hoped that she had not pushed her too far.


	11. Walls

Once again the team sat in a circle around the communications room. Shepard had been called by the Council nearly two hours ago and she was standing fully armed and armoured, back to the team, looking at reports and plans of a tropical planet.

After their conversation the previous night, Liara had waited a few minutes to see whether Faith would return before realising the woman most likely needed some time to process what she had said. She returned to her lab, sending Faith a quick note informing her that her cabin was vacant. Doctor Chakwas had raised an eyebrow at Liara's obvious happiness, but had thankfully decided not to say anything.

After several more moments, Ashley cleared her throat rather obviously and Shepard turned to face them, giving Ashley a dirty look laced with humour.

'Thanks for coming. We have a new target. The Council has several teams scouting the Traverse for suspicious activities and one of their Salarian Special Task Groups has recently failed to report in following a garbled message sent on the emergency broadcast channel. The Council can't be sure that it is related to our mission, but given our lack of other options it's one I want to check out.

'Our target is a planet called Virmire. The team's last reported location was in the middle of a jungle during their local summer. Apparently the whole planet is knee deep in water, and there are tropical storms, so suit up accordingly.'

The team let out a collective groan.

'Cheer up, the air's breathable and at least there's no lava this time.'

She had changed so much since rescuing Liara from Therum, it was wonderful to see.

'Everyone go suit up, we'll be there in just over two hours. I want you all on the ground team; we're going in hard and fast to find out what happened to the Salarians.'

As the team filed out, Shepard crossed to where Liara was hanging back. She took her hands and the Liara felt a pleasant happiness fill her as she saw how warm the woman's eyes were. She showed no sign of the hesitations she had the previous night.

'We'll talk when we get back, ok? Go get dressed.'

'I... I look forward to it.'

X-X

'Hello, Chief, would you like me to assist you?

The question was largely irrelevant. Liara had found an unlikely companion in Ashley, and this had become something of a ritual before battle. Liara, still unused to human military gear, had required assistance the first time she had armoured up. Shepard had told Ashley to help her, and now every time the team headed down the two women assisted each other with the heavy plates and awkward straps of combat armour. She found it strangely comforting, and suspected Ashley did as well; she was not a woman to suffer in silence.

'Sure thing, Doc.'

The ritual was always completed in silence. The two stripped down from their casual gear, before dressing themselves in the soft, padded underarmour. As Liara reached down to pick up Ashley's breastplate, the other spoke up, breaking the unspoken agreement.

'I feel like I owe you an apology, Liara.'

Liara held the front of the heavy breastplate in place, Ashley taking the weight as she raised the back and began fastening the straps.

'What for?'

She adjusted the final strap, and fitting her fingers into the small grooves on either side, pulled back hard to ensure they were secure.

'I gave you a pretty hard time when you first got on board. You've more than proven yourself loyal and I want to apologise for how I treated you.'

With swift movements that spoke of far more practice than she had, she clipped on Ashley's right thigh guard.

'You have nothing to apologise for, Ashley, given my circumstances your suspicion was entirely understandable.'

She clipped on the other thigh guard.

'Hey, I'm not one to apologise for something I didn't do, but I'm also not thick headed enough to ignore any mistakes I do make. I won't apologise for being suspicious, but I _am_ sorry for being so damned rude about it.'

Liara popped open Ashley's boots, and the woman stepped into them.

'I had some serious shit going on when I first came on board. I was still messed up from losing all my friends on Eden Prime, and I thought Shepard was mad for bringing aliens on board.'

Liara snapped the boots shut and began fastening the clips along the sides.

'I said some pretty mean things about you especially, to your face and behind your back.'

Ashley raised one arm as Liara fetched the suitable plating.

'I want you to know I really am sorry for it. I had some seriously wrong ideas about aliens; maybe I still do a little, but I hope that you can see you and the others have helped show me some truths I didn't want to see before.'

Arm securely bound, the other was raised. A little unsure of what she should say to the woman's admission, Liara settled for the most simple response.

'Thank you, Ashley. I accept your apology.'

The two fell silent again as Liara finished by strapping on Ashley's shoulder pads. The gauntlets and helmet would be added just before the battle. Ashley flexed, testing the fitting, and smiled as everything was perfectly secured. She took Liara's place by the lockers, and the Asari prepared herself for the weight of her armour. The quiet already broken, Liara decided to ask a question that had been on her mind since she first saw the woman in battle.

'Does your armour have any particular significance, Ashley?'

Pausing as she lifted Liara's chestpiece, she looked down at the white and pink Phoenix model heavy armour she wore.

'This ugly piece of shit? Yeah, sort of.'

As she held up Liara's lighter breastplate, she asked:

'Wanna hear about it?'

Liara took the weight.

'I would love to.'

She felt the hard back of the armour, and Ashley's fingers as the worked the straps against the heavy fabric at her sides.

'How much do you know about the Williams name? In the Alliance, I mean?'

She braced herself as Ashley gave a hard tug backwards.

'Aside from yourself, nothing. I have been meaning to find time to read your species' recent history.'

She planted her legs further apart as Ashley fetched her thigh guards.

'I'll save you a bit of it then. My grandfather was the first human to ever surrender to an alien force. He surrendered Shanxi to the Turians during the First Contact War, after a brutal guerilla campaign. They were destroying entire city blocks just to clear out a couple of snipers.'

Liara stayed silent as Ashley fitted the uncomfortable plates to her legs.

'It pretty much ruined the Williams name. My Dad signed up but never got promoted past Serviceman Third Class, which is about the lowest you can get.'

She stepped into the open boots.

'He did all he could to stop me from signing up too; knowing I'd be shit on from great heights for my whole career. But when I went and told my grandpa what I wanted to do, he looked so damned proud. I'd never seen him cry until that day.'

Liara raised her arms, fascinated by Ashley's simple but very expressive style of story telling.

'He looked at me, tears in his eyes, and said "I've never been ashamed of my decision, Ash. I want you to have my armour to remind you to always do what's right, not what someone else tells you." He gave me this hideous thing and I kept it ever since.'

The heavy shoulder plates were fitted into place, and Ashley began testing all of the straps.

'I wasn't allowed to wear it of course, new regs and all, but I kept it wherever the Alliance sent me. I even got myself a new breastplate fitted, cost three month's pay even though I couldn't wear the thing.'

Ashley stood back, and Liara began flexing her joints. Ashley had fitted the armour perfectly.

'I was off duty when the Geth hit Eden Prime. I didn't have time to get to the armoury, so I just put this on and started fighting, and here I am.'

She briefly to the ground, then met Liara's eyes. The human's eyes were glistening, but held a certainty not even Faith's steely gaze could match.

'Shepard's the first officer who's given me a chance to prove myself, and I'm going to make the name Williams one to be proud of, wearing this ugly ass armour all the way to the end.'

* * *

She looked at the timer.

'Two minutes, Williams. You can do this.'

A pair of Geth broke cover and she gunned them down with a heavy burst of rifle fire.

It had been one hell of a mission. More Geth, a cure for the Genophage, Shepard shouting down a Krogan four times her weight, and _Reapers._ The giant red visage of Saren's ship... Sovereign... telling the team impossible things, the words blasting through their minds.

YOU EXIST BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT, AND YOU WILL END BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT

Damn, it might have been all bluster, but it was impressive as hell.

She blew the optics from a Geth peeking its head over the barricades.

She wondered if it was telling the truth, or if it was just Saren trying to scare the hell out of them.

**One minute thirty.**

Not that it mattered.

_'I'm so sorry, Ashley'_

It wasn't her mess to deal with any more. This facility, in the middle of a jungle on a stormy planet in the back end of civilised space, was to be her grave.

_'I had to make a choice'_

She knew it was the right one. Kaidan was with a dozen other troops, and was the superior officer. Command seemed a less attractive option as she heard Shepard's cry of anguish as she chose to sacrifice not a soldier, but a friend.

Another Geth. She raised her rifle, only to cry out as she felt it ripped from her hands as the machine fired first and hit her gun. She gazed at the ruined remains of her right hand, oblivious to the pain, and drew her pistol with her left. A pair of shots and the robot dropped.

**One minute.**

Another round tore into her body.

_Was that five, or six?_

It was getting difficult to remember. Like everything else, it didn't matter any more.

Three more Geth. They mattered. They died.

She felt her head dropping, and mentally kicked herself. She would be damned if she died when she had less than a minute left to live. She had one final mission, and she would see it through. That was the Williams way.

**Thirty seconds.**

A roar, blasting through the heavy ambient noise of the facility. A shadow at the edge of her vision: The Normandy, escaping. Shepard, Kaidan, everybody else, safe.

She prayed for them.

_Our Father, who art in Heaven,_

_Hallowed be thy name._

More Geth. Too many. Too many for one woman with a pistol. They didn't know that, and died anyway. Top of every class, scores almost as high as Shepard herself. Stuck on nothing assignments because her Grandfather did what he knew was right.

_Thy Kingdom come, _

_Thy will be done,_

Shepard had given her this chance. The chance to prove the name Williams was worth a damn. She found respect, a _family_ on the Normandy. Even the aliens.

_On Earth as it is in Heaven._

_Give us this day our daily bread,_

Maybe this would be enough. She had always known Williams was a name to be proud of, maybe now others would see it too. That wouldn't be such a bad end, really.

_Forgive us our trespasses, as we-_

* * *

'Shepard'

Nothing. The woman had been staring at Ashley's blank life monitor for several minutes.

'Faith, you need to debrief the crew.'

Her shoulders, still encased in battered armour, slumped.

Liara placed a gentle hand on the nearest.

'Faith, it was not your-'

'Don't, Liara. Don't coddle me.'

_Oh no..._

It was all gone. All of the warmth, all of the personality she had drawn out, gone. Was this pain her fault? She had asked the woman to open herself. To risk feelings of pain and loss, so she could feel companionship and love.

Shepard stood up and, without looking at her, set towards the exit of the Medical Bay.

'Come on. You're correct, I need to debrief everybody.'

Liara hurried after the woman, who strode into the communications room where everybody else was waiting. Kaidan immediately stood and began:

'Commander, I-'

'Can it, Alenko. It was my choice to make and that's the last I'll hear of it here. We'll talk later.'

Slightly taken aback, he sat down slowly. Liara followed suit, giving him a helpless look.

'We destroyed Saren's cloning facility and have stopped his plans to build an army of Krogan. This will seriously hinder any plans he had for a wide scale assault, but it will most likely force him to begin his endgame sooner than he planned. We're on his tail and he knows it. The beacon on the planet gave me a more complete vision; I saw places, buildings, ruins. It's where the Conduit is. Liara, I need you to see if you recognise any of the images.'

'You... wish me to meld with you again? Shepard, after what happened last time I-'

'Just do it, Liara.' Her voice, her eyes, were so _cold_.

'Very well, Commander.'

She stood and walked to the woman, trying not to shudder at the vacant expression in her eyes. Taking one of her hands, a gesture she knew unnecessary but a contact she needed, she tried to pour as much warmth as she could into her voice, through her gaze. Faith needed to know she still had those who cared for her.

She leant in close, so only she could hear. She chose her words carefully.

'Know your place in the universe, Faith.

'Everybody you meet, everything you touch, is connected.

'You affect them, and they affect you. It all lasts forever, transcending life and death.

_'Embrace eternity!'_

Emptiness.

No pain, no memories, just emptiness.

_Faith?_

Walls, everywhere.

_Faith, please, you need to let me in._

Nothing.

_Just the beacon, Faith, nothing more. You don't need to share anything more, just remember the beacon._

Then the images came.

The same as before: death, fire, warnings. But this was from an undamaged beacon, decoded by the Cipher. There was no pain. There was nothing of Mindoir, nothing of Torfan. Nothing of Shepard.

There were clear images this time, of people. Protheans. She had never been certain of what they looked like before now.

Things. A machine, enormous, as big as the Citadel. A weapon? A warning?

Places. Trees, ruins, statues. They reminded her of sketches, theories from an archaeologist as obscure as she was...

_Ilos!_

She broke the connection, and felt her legs fall from underneath her. She was exhausted from the day's fighting.

Strong arms caught her as she began to slide to the floor.

As her vision came back to her, her eyes focused on the woman who had caught her. The smile forming on her lips fell as she saw the cold in Shepard's eyes.

'Did you see anything? Do you know where Saren is going?'

'Yes Commander... Ilos. Saren is heading to Ilos.'

'I've never heard of that planet.'

'It was... considered a myth. The only evidence we have of it is references in ancient Prothean artifacts, including the Relay map on the Citadel. The only way to access it is through the Mu Relay.'

'Good, I'll call the Council. They need to know.'

Shepard turned to the team, all affected by the loss of one they had embraced as a friend and ally.

'A good person died today. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams had a heart of gold and was a damned fine soldier. She gave her life to complete the mission. She died so we could live. But the time for grief is not now. We can honour her sacrifice by remembering her name and seeing this through to the end.

'Dismissed. Go and get some rest.'

Her voice left no room for argument. Liara followed the rest of the team from the room. When she looked over her shoulder, Shepard was already keying in a request to speak to the Council. She left for the showers without a word.


	12. Letting go

Liara had lain awake, tossing for several hours, when a loud crash drew her from whatever rest she hoped to acquire. As far as she knew she was one of only a few people on the ship. The rest of the crew of the now grounded Normandy were working off their anger in whatever way they saw fit on the Citadel; drinking, getting into fights, at the shooting range, _anything_ to distract themselves.

They had been betrayed. The human ambassador, Udina, had smirked at Shepard with such an expression of smug glee when he told her the Normandy was grounded, that Liara was surprised that the woman had not punched his front teeth out. She was tempted to do it herself.

All of the evidence they had collected, all of the sacrifices they had made, all for nothing. They were lured back to the Citadel with a promise of assistance, then stabbed in the back by politicians too scared to take real action. Even Liara, with no tactical military experience or training, knew that a defensive plan was strategically incompetent. The Citadel was an enormous target; defendable, but against an entire Geth fleet, a Reaper, and whatever the conduit might be? What if it was a weapon? What if it allowed the Geth to attack from a direction other than the Mass Relay? The Citadel fleet, so impressive clustered around the Relay, would look woefully stretched if they had to defend the Citadel from attacks from more than one direction. In the three dimensions of space, defending a stationary target was practically impossible.

Saren, the Conduit, were single targets with a known location. They could be eliminated, and the threat stopped short. Why could the Council not see this? All evidence of Reapers aside, the immediate threat was clear and the solution obvious.

_The Reapers._

She found the words of Sovereign so difficult to believe, and yet every sign, every piece of evidence she had ever uncovered, had pointed to it being truth. The Protheans had vanished, and the vast majority of evidence they were ever there was eradicated behind them, just as with so many races before them. The obvious logical step was that somebody else was facilitating the extinction, but the very idea of a race of machines powerful enough to do it, over and over for cycles beyond counting, was practically incomprehensible. In truth, she did not blame the Council for laughing in their faces at the very idea. She would have done the same not so long ago.

But now Asari, Humanity, Turians and all the rest, were next. Saren, brainwashed, wanted to return the Reapers, and the Conduit was somehow a way to do this. And Shepard's team, the only people with the will to do something about it, were stuck while others used the situation to further their own ambitions. She bitterly wondered if they deserved the imminent extinction.

Shepard had remained calm as the Council declared their foolish plan. She had remained calm as Udina spat in her face. After the loss of Ashley, the woman had been nothing but the picture of professionalism. But Liara could feel her pain. It radiated from her, poisoning the air. Losing, _sacrificing_, Ashley, who had been practically a sister to both of them had hurt her, and the betrayal of those she thought she could trust to back her up had twisted the knife.

Liara had tried to comfort her then, but Shepard had brushed her off.

'_Go back to the Normandy, Liara, or whatever you want to do. It's over.'_

The words hurt her, so she had returned to the ship, leaving Faith to whatever self-destructive method she planned to use to cope with the situation. She wished she had stayed. Her friend was hurting, and she should have been there. But now, she had no idea where the woman was, and no way of finding her.

A second crash drew her from her bed. Dressed only in her bed clothes; a small black tank top and shorts, she padded through the silent, dimly lit medical bay and into the mess to investigate the noise. A soft thud drew her attention to the lockers behind her, where she saw Shepard's had two large dents. The woman herself was slumped beneath it, looking in a bad way. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, her clothes crumpled. Not knowing what to say, Liara sat beside her without a word.

The silence dragged on for several minutes before Liara started to feel angry. It was a welcome distraction from the despair, so she took hold of the emotion, and fed it, with everything she had. All of the pain she felt, the uncertainty, the loss of her mother, the loss of Ashley, her old life destroyed, everything reared up and turned her anger into an inferno.

Shepard had led them so far, been so much to all of them, and was now acting like a child who had just been told "no"! Would she let her crew down because she was hurt like the rest of them?

'How **dare **you!'

The words slipped out before she could stop herself. She was so _furious_ with the woman!

Faith's head snapped up, and she looked at her with confusion in her eyes. It only fed Liara's anger. She stood up and faced the woman on the floor.

'How **dare **you do this to us?' She could not stop it, all of the anger, the hurt, the love.

'Are you going to let this happen? We trusted you to lead us in this fight, and now you are giving up?'

Faith's eyes turned to steel.

'I don't need this now, Liara!'

'You have soldiers, friends and a whole Galaxy full of people relying on you, and you dare to give up because something did not go your way?'

'What am I supposed to do?' Her voice was harsh, clipped, hurt.

_Good._

'Anything! Anything other than sit here and mope like a child. You are our leader, Faith! Adapt! We need you! _I _need you!' Her anger, raging like fire just seconds before, was quenched with the final words, replaced by a cool certainty. She held out a hand to the woman.

'Stand, SPECTRE.' Her voice rang throughout the empty ship.

For several long seconds, Faith only gazed at the hand in front of her face. Her expression was a map of anger, hurt and confusion. Then it was replaced with the dark certainty of Commander Shepard. She took Liara's hand, and the Asari pulled the woman to her feet. She did not let go. Their eyes were inches apart. If she was any further away, she might not have heard Faith's next words, which were barely even a whisper.

'Thank you, Liara.'

She smiled then, and Liara's heart leapt as she the cracks in the mask. She was hurting, but instead of denying it she was accepting it, using it. Moving on.

'I was acting like a bit of an idiot, wasn't I?'

'No, Faith, you were acting like a person, a person who has been hurt. But you have too much responsibility to let it consume you. We all rely on you for leadership, and if that means I have to shout at you when nobody else is looking, I will do it.'

'I'm glad you're here Liara. I… don't know what I would do without you.'

Liara suddenly realised how close she was standing to the woman. She could smell her; gunmetal, leather, the arousing undertone of human sweat. She could see herself, reflected in Faith's dark eyes. She could feel the warm breath against her neck. Their bare hands were still holding each other; warm, smooth human skin against the cool, soft, gentle scaling of Asari.

Barely in control of her body, she leant in closer. Faith's eyes half closed, giving her already beautiful features a sensual edge. Liara felt her lips pucker just slightly, almost close enough to brush-

_**Commander?**_

'AH! Dammit Joker! If this is not the most important message of your life I am coming up there to throw you overboard!'

Shepard's eyes widened in surprise as Liara, flushing, realised just what she had said to her Commander's pilot.

* * *

For the fourth time, Faith Shepard tried to focus on the datapad in front of her. Tali had sent some specs on the unusual Geth units they encountered on Virmire, but her thoughts were distracted.

Joker, it turned out, _did _have a good reason for interrupting. Captain Anderson had managed to get in touch, and explained his completely reckless plan to get them off of the Citadel. It worked. Anderson was probably under arrest right now. Udina would be declaring Shepard and her crew traitors to the Alliance, the Council ordering their fleets to destroy the Normandy on sight. The Normandy was currently rocketing towards the Mu Relay, and Ilos. They would be there in ten hours.

But even that, was hard to focus on. While she was busy wallowing in self-pity, Liara had picked her up and dusted her off. The words were harsh, but without judgement. Ever since her home was destroyed, she had been forced to rely on herself. Her time on the Normandy, with Liara, had shown her there was another way to live.

When Liara had first accidentally seen her memories of Mindoir, she had nearly broken down at the thought of somebody else knowing, feeling, something so personal to her. She had been ready to threaten the Asari, turn her over to the Council, anything so she would not have to face another person being so close.

But Liara had _apologised. _Out of everything she could have done, she apologised, pledged her service to Shepard, and promised to never, should she live a thousand years or more, tell another soul of what she saw. Why was she deserving of such a _good_ person?

During the weeks chasing Saren, Liara had always been there; a gentle presence in the face of the violence and death. They talked for hours; deep into the night when both should have been sleeping, as one helped the other recover from injuries, as they were on the shuttle down to missions.

Completely on her own accord, Faith had shared with Liara the most personal experiences of her life. Because she _wanted_ to. The Alliance had been her family since she was sixteen years old, and yet their psychologists did not know about what she saw on Mindoir. Alliance command did not know _why _she had ordered the attack on Torfan when every rule and tactical analysis said she should have fallen back. She could not have called anybody in the Alliance a friend until she had begun to soften to the crew on the Normandy. Liara's influence, of course.

But then… she told Ashley to die. The woman was without a doubt the finest soldier she had ever served with. Like herself with extra muscle and more attitude. The woman should have been alongside her during N7 training, turning the tide in failed Alliance operations like Akuze. But she wasn't; judged instead by the actions of a man far greater than those deciding her future, she was patrolling back end worlds while less capable soldiers were getting themselves and others killed. And despite it all, she had kept on fighting. Right to the end. She had watched Ashley's readouts; dying from half a dozen gunshot wounds, one hand useless, she had held on to the very end. Doing the duty of an Alliance marine. On the way back to the Citadel Shepard had recommended her for a posthumous Star of Terra. The gesture was fairly meaningless compared to having her alive, but perhaps it would give her family some measure of peace.

She had relived that moment, standing on a balcony overlooking a beautiful tropical storm as she decided which of her friends would live, dozens of times. Why did she choose to save Kaidan? She had no doubt that her decision looked right on paper; the man was with the entire Salarian unit where Ashley was alone, and the practicality of guarding the bomb until it detonated, without having soldiers on the ground, was near impossible. She knew what the reports would say, but it was not the truth.

She preferred spending time with Ashley, out of the two. Kaidan was a fine man, but Ashley had a spark inside of her that gave every encounter a lasting effect. A blazing fire compared to Kaidan's deep ocean. But… she knew Kaidan was the better hope for the future. Ashley was a fine soldier, but there would always be fine soldiers. Kaidan represented something more: he was a man who represented what the Alliance _should_ be. Strong and bold, but kind, always willing to listen without judgement. The Reapers were coming, and the Alliance would need men like him to bring the Galaxy together, rather than warriors like Ashley who could only destroy.

So she had condemned a friend, a sister, to death because she was too volatile.

What did that say about herself? Ashley had never attacked an ally because he did not want to die. Ashley had never executed an unarmed prisoner. Why should Ashley have been the one to die, when such a broken person as herself was still alive?

Why did it hurt so much?

Why did Liara, why did everybody else, still trust her to do the right thing? Liara had forced her to at least begin moving past the decision, but-

_I was about to kiss Liara._

The realisation hit her like a freight train. She had buried the thought underneath the enormity of what they were currently doing, but it suddenly reared its head and dominated everything else, quashing all of her other doubts.

She had been trying not to think about her admission to the Asari during the last couple of days. She had admitted she was attracted to the woman! Liara had given her the opening; she could have lied, said she was not interested, and things would be back to normal. She could have done or said any number of things. Instead, she had told Liara that there was a connection between them, a connection beyond friendship.

There was no doubt Liara was attractive, despite her usual preference for men. She had never spent, well, _any _time fantasising about a woman's curves, but when she had first seen Liara bare herself after being wounded on Noveria, when she realised the Asari was naked in her bed, she had felt a deep, primal urge far beyond whatever paltry sensations a flexing bicep, a rippling back, had caused in the past. As she had leant in towards the kiss, the unusual alien scent; sweet, almost like cinnamon, had driven all coherent thought from her brain, and if Joker had not interrupted...

Was that weakness? Many soldiers said that feelings such as love were weakness.

_Love?_

Was that what she felt? Was it merely a physical attraction? Asari were infamous for stirring up desire in any species, any gender. Was it just that, or something more?

And what if it was more? What if she was _in love _with Liara? How could she subject a person she loved to her life? When any day she could be killed, captured, hunted, maimed, sent on an undercover assignment for months, or any other horrible fate? Liara had offered to stay with her once Saren was stopped, could she keep a person she loved on board the ship?

What if she had to choose between Liara and another crew member, as she had with Ashley and Kaidan? Could she make the right choice? Could she even send Liara into danger?

Could she ever trust her own judgement again?

Her cabin door opened. Liara, looking absolutely beautiful, stood in the doorway.

* * *

Liara had spent quite some time in a nervous state, pacing her lab, getting in and out of bed, dressing herself then undressing. After what seemed like hours, Doctor Chakwas had entered the little lab, disturbed by Liara's restlessness.

'_Doctor Chakwas, I-'_

'_Go to her, Liara. That's all I have to say on the matter.'_

The canny woman had left it at that, turning from the lab and leaving without even waiting for a response. Liara spent several minutes in a rather desperate attempt to make herself look more presentable; catching her breath, ensuring her crest was proud and smoothing her clothes, before strengthening her resolve and marching out of the lab.

Past Doctor Chakwas, still awake in her bed with a datapad, who had given her a non-so subtle wink.

Past the mess, the lights dim, deserted, her soft footsteps echoing gently.

She had opened Faith's door before the doubts started to overwhelm her. The human was sitting at her desk, holding a datapad which was playing through its screensaver. It must have been idle for some time. She looked up at Liara.

She froze, all of her certainty suddenly gone. Why had she come here? What was she going to say?

'Come on in, Liara. You can't dramatically barge into somebody's room and stop half way.'

She had not even rang the alert. Faith could have been asleep, or getting dressed, or,

'Oh, I am so-'

Faith was smiling. Humour. That was good. Human humour often revolved around making others feel uncomfortable. What now? Standing awkwardly in the doorway, hoping to be interrupted by Joker again, was not a viable option.

_Do something, Liara!_

She took a breath and entered the cabin, sitting on the bed across from Faith. Their knees were practically touching. She could feel the ghost of the contact, sending shivers up her legs.

Faith said nothing. She was just looking at Liara, an unreadable expression in her eyes.

'I was thinking about our conversation. When I… told you how I feel about us.'

_You are a grown woman, not a child, start sounding like it!_

'I know that we are flying into the unknown, yet again, but this has a feeling of… finality… about it.'

Faith looked at the pad she was holding, seemingly surprised it had sent itself to sleep. Liara deftly plucked it from her hand and set it on the desk. She would not let the woman avoid this. She _could_ not let her.

'This story will end tomorrow, one way or the other.'

She took a deep breath. This was it.

'Should we live, I do not wish my memories of this night to be those of regret.'

Shepard's mouth opened, clearly without her brain involved in the decision. A reflex response from years of training. Liara would not let the conversation be distracted.

'Please Faith, I am not one of your soldiers. I do not need reassurance or a morale boost. I know what we are facing, and how dangerous it will be.'

It really _was_ terrifying. They were flying towards a dead world, occupied by Saren and his Geth, containing a Prothean artefact of unknown power and function. Even if they were successful, the Council would not welcome them back as anything other than traitors. And yet, there was nowhere she would rather be.

'Whether we live or die tomorrow, I cannot bear do so without knowing.

'You told me that you felt an attraction to me. That what we have is more than friendship. I wish… I _need _to know if that is the truth. If you still feel that way.'

Whether it was a lingering whisper from their melding, a deep empathy between friends or simple guessing, Liara knew what was going through Faith's mind. The fear, of opening herself. The shame, when she had let slip that she felt the two were more than friends. The doubts, at how close they were to kissing not a day before.

Liara stayed silent. This was now the other's choice, her step to take. She could not force it any further. Faith needed to come to her now.

Faith looked to the floor. Her voice was choked with a nameless emotion, a rush of everything she had opened herself up to, everything she had buried since she was a child.

'Liara, what I said… I shouldn't have. I'm a soldier, a SPECTRE, I can't afford the cost of what you want.'

_No! She knows that is not all there is to life, she must know that!_

'What about what _you _want?'

'What I want doesn't matter. I gave up that right when I put on my uniform, when I stood before the Council and the whole Galaxy and swore to protect them.'

_Please, Goddess, don't let her do this to herself!_

'You are not a machine, Faith! You cannot continue to pretend that pushing back your emotions actually makes them go away!'

'I can and I will, Liara! Dammit! Don't you think I just want to say "no" for once? To tell those who ask for my life that they cannot have it, that it's mine for the living?'

_It _**is **_yours!_

'I can't do that, Liara. What I do, what I need to do and what I will _always _need to do is too important. If I start living for myself, people start dying.'

_She still blames herself; for Mindoir, for her sisters, for Ashley, for everybody who dies because she can't save them! Oh Faith…_

'The life of everybody in the Galaxy is not your responsibility! Would it be so wrong, for one night, to just_ let go_? To let somebody else share the burden?'

'I can't do that Liara. I won't. You are too good to be pulled along by somebody like me for whatever passes for the rest of my life, when every day you could lose it all. You're too good to have your one night, then be told it can't be forever.'

She finally looked up, and Liara saw tears streaming down her face. Her next words were a whisper.

'I'm sorry, Liara. I can't give you what you ask.'

Liara's heart shattered.

She had hoped, _wished_, that Faith would become a different person for her. That she would be able to lay down her burdens, share them with somebody who would accept her as she was. But she could not. Doctor Chakwas had told Liara that for Faith, for _Commander Shepard, _duty would always come first. Could a person such as that, a _hero _such as that_, _ever allow another to share their pain? To share the doubts, the bad times, the nightmares with another? To, as she would see it, inflict her life on another person?

Liara stood up, tears in her eyes. She took one of Faith's hands, and gently pulled the woman to her feet. They embraced. Liara felt her mind spinning with the contact, with the scent of the human. She held on, and poured every ounce of strength she could into the woman. She did not know how long they stood. Seconds could have passed, or hours.

Eventually, she pulled away. Faith had made her choice. Liara whispered,

'I am sorry'

She meant it. As the stars burned, she meant it. Sorry not for any action she regretted, but sorry for the burden Faith had taken upon herself. Sorry for the life they could not have together. Sorry for the eternity of reasons that they could not be.

With a final gesture, she brushed a tear from the cheek of the woman she loved.

She left.

* * *

**_A/N: _**_I am so sorry. I really, really am._


	13. The Chase

**_A/N: _**_I would like to thank all of my readers for the amazing feedback I received on the previous chapter. It was heartwrenching to write and I was terrified I was going to be pilloried or something. The idea for that scene was what inspired me to hit the keyboard in the first place, and to have it go down so well is a truly amazing feeling. Thank you all._

_As a look to the future, I have decided that rather than hopping straight to ME3 with a brief stop at LOTSB as I originally planned, I **will** be tackling ME2, despite Liara's rather understated part. I have what I hope is a very original idea for how to go about it, and I honestly cannot wait to get started._

_But first, we of course need to see off Saren and Sovereign, and conclude Faith & Liara's relationship in this story. Onwards!_

* * *

Shepard's voice drew Liara from her slumber. For a sweet second, she thought-

**_We are one hour out from Ilos. All specialists be ready for a hot drop. I want everybody in heavy armour with as many guns as you can carry, extra ammunition. Be ready for a briefing in the cargo hold in thirty minutes._**

No such luck.

They were nearly there, but Liara could barely register the fact that she needed to get out of bed. That she needed to do _something. _Faith had turned her away. They had opened their souls to each other, but the human had faltered.

Liara _understood. _She did not accept her love's actions, but she understood. It did not help as much as she thought it would. The woman had come so far, but could not take the final step of sharing her pain. She thought that by rejecting Liara, she was saving her torment. She saw her burdens as her own to bear, and would not, could not allow others to be brought down by them.

She sat up.

She wondered where this left her. She had offered to stay with Shepard once the current mission was finished. Could she still do that? Would the SPECTRE let her? Could she stay, knowing her very presence caused Faith such torment? Could she leave, knowing it would be throwing away any chance she could change the woman's mind?

She realised, with a sinking feeling in her gut, that she now had no place in the Galaxy. Her love had rejected her. Her family was gone. Her government would kill her on sight.

She was alone.

But that would have to wait. Whether she _wanted _her or not, Faith _needed _Liara right now. As a fighter, at her side. She had made a vow, and would die before going back on it.

X-X

The Cargo Bay was already a hive of activity. It was with no small measure of shame that she realised she was most likely the only one not already arming up when Shepard had made the announcement. Head down, she strode to her locker and picked out the heaviest suit Ashley had fitted to her.

_Ashley._

She stopped as she realised she would have to armour up alone. With everything else that had happened she had not found time to mourn for the loss of her friend. Ashley had always seemed… gruff… but she was a genuinely good hearted person who was honest and upfront. Asari often acted so mysterious; her mother said it added to their allure, but Liara much preferred the honesty of somebody who said what they were thinking and dealt with the consequences then and there.

She had accepted her fate with nothing more than a "Yes Ma'am", as if it were any other order. Liara still did not fully understand a soldiers' life, but by the way everybody else had reacted, this was something she, and her family, should be proud of. Thinking back to that morning, and Ashley's unexpected apology, she wondered if Ashley had sensed that something would happen on Virmire.

She started at a gentle hand on her shoulder.

'Liara, are you alright? You've been standing there for a while.'

'Oh, yes, thank you Tali, I was… thinking of Ashley.'

'Me too. After everything we went through, it just seems so… unfair! And then for the Council to insult her sacrifice like they did, it makes me so… mad!'

Liara could see Tali's shoulders bristle.

'It has affected us all, Tali. Others might forget her, but we will not. I imagine she would find greater comfort in knowing her friends remember and honour her, rather than a-'

She put on a rough, barely passable imitation of Ashley's voice

'-a bunch of slimy ass politicians'

Tali chuckled at that. It was good to hear.

'I… I remember she always used to help you with your armour. Since most of mine is built into my suit I… would you like me to help?'

Liara was tempted to say no, to preserve the memories, but Tali's voice had a pleading edge to it.

'I am sure she would like that.'

Tali had apparently watched them closely, as she did a fair job at assisting Liara, despite struggling with the heavy plates. The ritual, as usual, was completed in silence.

They crossed over to the weapons locker together.

'What do you think the Commander meant by "as many guns as you can carry"?' Tali had picked up her favourite pistol and shotgun, and was looking rather bemusedly at the remaining guns. They had amassed quite a collection during their travels.

'What do you think she meant?' They looked behind them to Wrex. He had apparently taken the words literally, and Liara could count no fewer than ten weapons on his person. He even had a pair of shotguns holstered at his hips in the manner most people would carry pistols.

'I don't think you need to go that far, Tali.' Kaidan spoke up. He was sitting on a crate nearby, already armed and armoured.

'When a soldier gets an order like that it means he'll be facing _heavy_ fighting, and there'll be no backup. So automatic rifles, at least, and as many thermal clips as you can hold.'

Liara picked up one of the ship's many M-8 Avenger assault rifles. She did not normally carry such a large weapon, but right now its weight felt comfortable in her hands.

With everything else that was happening, the prospect of shooting some Geth suddenly seemed rather inviting.

* * *

_This is what you were born to do._

She ducked underneath a swinging rifle and planted her shotgun into the cavity underneath the Geth's chestplate. The thing detonated outwards as she squeezed the trigger.

_You belong here._

She tossed a biotic push at a Geth taking a line on Kaidan, before a heavy burst of rifle fire brought it down. She could not see who fired.

_It is all so easy._

Her omni blade flared to life as she engaged the enemy. Tali's upgrades were working wonders, disrupting shields and carving through armour with surprising ease. She had asked why these upgrades weren't standard issue. Tali had chuckled and said that she was probably the only person in the Galaxy who actually used the function. A single sweep took the "head" from one and she jumped at another, knocking it from its feet. She plunged the blade into its chest. A shotgun blast blew the leg from third, before another shot ended its unnatural life.

**_The..._**

A cluster of Geth had formed some way to her left. Not even needing to give the order, she knew what was coming. Her team fought together as if they had been together for years. She ducked behind a statue as she saw air curling in on itself in the centre of the group, lifting the machines from their feet. A detonation shook the complex a second later.

**_Perfect..._**

Armature.

'Covering fire!'

She charged it, ducking and rolling between its legs as it tried to gun her down. Behind it now, she climbed onto its back, grabbed its neck and jumped to the side. They were unsteady on their legs as it was, and the extra weight toppled the walker, exposing its underbelly. Her squad opened fire on it and after several seconds of pathetic whirring, it stopped moving.

**_Warrior._**

She jumped to her feet, weapon sweeping, scouting possible hiding spots, checking downed Geth for sign of reanimation. Nothing.

'Sensors dark.' Tali always had the final call; her equipment specially designed to track Geth emissions. 'For now...'

There would be more. Ever since Joker managed the drop every pilot's handbook said was impossible, there were more.

But they _were_ making progress. They had finally cleared the security bunker, and were now heading back to the Mako to follow Saren down the path leading to an _enormous _energy signature. The team was silent as they headed back, checking corners and keeping weapons ready despite Tali's assurances. She would not take any chances.

Without anything to fight, her thoughts began spiralling again.

She had pushed Liara away. Because she did not want the Asari to be ruined by her life. Because she was terrified of letting somebody get so close. Because she was scared of losing what made her able to protect others. Because...

_Because..._

_Because..._

It... should not matter. It was done. They had a mission to complete.

But it did matter.

_'I am sorry'_

Why did she say that? Why would the words not leave her? What was _she _sorry for?

They were at the Mako. Distraction.

'All right, everybody in. We're going down there.'

Tali's voice had a nervous waver.

'I vote... we don't go into the creepy tunnel full of Geth.'

'Especially with Shepard driving.'

After a few seconds, the whole team burst into laughter. Personally, she did not see what was wrong with her driving, but the rest seemed to think it a source of endless amusement. She flashed an appreciative grin to Garrus for breaking the sombre mood that was hanging over them. Over herself.

'Can it, Vakarian, or I'll strap you to the front and use you as a figurehead.'

'It'd probably be safer than being _in _there with you... with no chance of escape...'

'Har har. Now get your scaly ass in there.'

* * *

This was... amazing! Impossible!

A working Prothean VI, speaking in Galactic standard!

It had told them of the struggle of the Protheans, how they had been systematically wiped out by the Reapers.

It told them how the facility had shut down external communications to hide.

It told them how it decided which of the people under its care had died first, how it had preserved power for the most important.

And it finally told them the nature of the Conduit.

A _Mass Relay_, built by the Protheans!

Most of the Galaxy thought the Relays and Citadel were Prothean creations, but it was widely accepted in the scientific community that this was not, in fact, the truth. Evidence from Relays found in systems unoccupied by the Protheans to dust _millions _of years old trapped in the machinery told them otherwise.

An idle part of her mind wondered why this did not bother people as much as it should.

And Saren's plan was laid bare. He was going to use the Conduit to insert his army into the Citadel through the back door, and bring the Reapers back from Dark Space using the trap on the station.

'Shepard, please, think of all we could learn from this!'

The woman turned to look at her incredulously.

'Are you mad? Saren passed through here less than an hour ago! We're right behind him!'

'Commander, this could be the last chance we have to learn what this VI has to say!'

It was the first time they had spoken directly to each other since the previous night.

'Liara, you know we can't delay.' Her voice was soft, pleading.

_She doesn't want to hurt me..._

'I... of course, you are correct. Let us be off.'

On the elevator back up to the Mako, she thought about what Vigil had told them. Its voice, expressive for a VI, had sounded sad as it told the tale of the Prothean extinction. Millions of people killed instantly in a surprise attack. Then years... decades... centuries of single minded annihilation, wiping out the Protheans on every planet, every ship, every last one. It was difficult, no _impossible, _to imagine.

And they were next. Thessia... her towers crumbling, her gardens burning, her seas black with pollution and death. The Normandy destroyed. Her friends indoctrinated. Faith, dead.

She _needed_ to know more, to learn everything she could to stop the Reapers.

'I would like to return here, once this is all over.' She thought her murmur was quiet enough that nobody could hear it, but Faith turned to her, a gentle smile on her face.

'If we're still alive, we'll either be Galactic heroes or outcasts. So you'll either have sponsors tripping over themselves to fund you, or you'll need a nice, remote planet in the middle of nowhere, to hide.'

'You have a wonderful way of looking at it, Commander.' She felt herself smiling. It felt so _good, _just to be talking to her...

'Did you mean it? Would you want to come back here?' _Would you leave, you mean?_

'I... I don't know. There is so much here, about the Protheans, and in turn about the Reapers. There is so much we could use!'

'And so much history to unearth?'

'Well, yes, but...' She flushed. 'You know that is not the point.'

The elevator continued its slow ascent. It had not taken so long to go down to Vigil's room; the whole facility was slowly dying.

'I... promised I would stay with you, and I will, to help you fight the Reapers. If you believe it would help, I could return and see if I can find anything.' She inwardly cringed at how cowardly the statement sounded. Letting Faith know that she had the option to get rid of her, and giving her the excuse to do it... giving her the _responsibility _of the decision.

Either she did not notice, or was not offended.

_Or she is keeping it to herself._

'Thanks Liara, that's a good idea. I'll think about it.' The elevator finally creaked to a halt, and the doors rattled open. 'But first, we have a mad Turian to stop.'

As she vacated the elevator, Kaidan was giving her an odd look. She had completely forgotten that the man was with them. She gave him what she hoped was a pleasant smile, and boarded the Mako.

As they reached the end of the tunnels, Vigil's voice rang through their radios.

**_You must hurry. Saren has activated the Conduit and led a substantial number of Geth to the Citadel. It will permanently shut down in two minutes._**

Liara looked out of the small slot at the front of the vehicle. They were in a huge enclosure, open to the air but walled in. In the distance stood a Mass Relay, smaller than the ones used for space travel, but very recognisable and _very _active.

'Hold on people! We're going through in the Mako!'

'Oh Goddess!'  
'Spirits!'  
'Keelah, Shepard!'  
'Erm, Commander?'  
'Ha ha ha!'


	14. Confrontation

Liara woke to the sight of Faith, concern in her eyes, looming over her. There was fire everywhere, and gunshots, sounding like a dull drum beneath a painful ringing in her head.

'Liara! Are you alright?'

She tried to sit up, and grimaced as pain shot down her side.

'Ooh... I... I think I may have a fractured rib or two. Give me one moment, Shepard.'

Obviously relieved that Liara was not seriously injured, the human picked up a rifle from the floor and took up a firing position by the nearby low wall.

Liara's suit injected a cocktail of drugs and she felt both the pain in her side and the headache begin to dull.

Successfully sitting up this time, she recognised her surroundings.

_The Citadel!_

The Conduit worked! The Mass Relay monument was actually the Conduit's partner... had _nobody _examined the statue before?

It was only a second before Liara realised something was wrong. There was fire, everywhere.

_Geth!_

Shepard and the others were exchanging fire with a small cluster of Geth nearby, the machines getting the worse of the exchange.

Her hearing cleared as the gunfire stopped. From behind a strong pair of arms lifted her to her feet.

'Thank you, Garrus.'

'Any time, Liara. I'm sorry to say one of us didn't make the trip.'

_Oh Goddess! Wait... why does he sound... amused?_

'I'm afraid that the Mako was irreparably damaged during the attack. It is with great regret that we lay to rest our trusty chariot.' He nodded reverently towards the smouldering wreck nearby.

_She must have pulled me out..._

'You'll miss it when I put you to work in the gun battery instead, Garrus.' Shepard's voice called as the rest of the team gathered. Everybody else was unharmed by the crash.

'You ok, Liara?'

'Yes, Commander, I am fine.' Faith looked at her for a moment, before gesturing to everybody else.

'Ok people, this is it. Saren is somewhere on this station, looking for a way to activate the beacon summoning the Reapers. My guess is, we follow the Geth.'

Tali had hacked into the station's security network and had projected a holographic map from her omnitool.

'Shepard, it appears as though the Geth are cutting a path to the Citadel Tower. The switch to summon the Reapers must be in there.'

'We have our destination. Move out!'

X-X

It was... _amazing._

They were standing on the 'outside' of the enclosed area of the Presidium. Looking up at the thousands of lights, Liara imagined she could see the millions of residents of the station, many wondering what was going on, some no doubt unaware that something was even wrong.

The lights extended as far as she could see. An enclosed shell, full of people, living their lives. When seen like this, personal problems seemed so... insignificant. What was one person's drama compared to the lives so many?

They were like insects, in a hive.

This must be how the Reapers saw all organic life.

She shuddered as she looked towards Sovereign. It had managed to enter the Citadel before the arms closed, now safe as the fleets of the Citadel and the Geth did battle outside.

It was _colossal._

The sheer scale of the machine was enough to make her head spin.

_No wonder the Geth see them as Gods..._

She felt a dull blow hit her shoulder, shot stopped by her barrier, and was drawn back into the present.

'Team one, forward!'

Wrex, Kaidan and Tali popped up, laying down a heavy stream of automatic rifle fire.

Shepard broke cover, Liara and Garrus close behind her. They passed the other fire team and covered as much ground as they could before the Geth began to return fire.

'Team two!'

Liara switched her rifle to full automatic, and sprayed fire towards the heavy Geth fortification. Garrus and Shepard did the same beside her. As the Geth once again took cover, Wrex lumbered past, Tali and Kaidan wisely using his bulk as cover.

'Team one!'

And it began again.

They were fighting their way down a long trench, most likely a maintenance shaft beneath their feet. The Geth had reinforced a position at the far end, but the team was steadily moving forward as the predictable machines failed to adapt to their simple, aggressive tactic.

'Team two!'

Closer... her shots actually hit a Geth this time, sending it spinning to the ground.

'Team one!'

Nearly there...

'Engage! Wrex!'

Wrex charged forwards, Shepard right behind him. Garrus shipped his assault rifle, pulling out his preferred sniper rifle as he took up his position. Liara crossed to Kaidan's side, ready to lay down the required Biotic support. Tali summoned her curious attack drone, and Liara was sure she heard the young Quarian mutter something about 'going for the optics'.

Wrex barged through the makeshift barrier, scattering several of the machines, and suddenly Shepard was amongst them.

Like a wrathful Athame smiting her foes, Faith danced amongst the Geth, shooting, hitting, slashing, breaking, her magnetic boots barely affecting her graceful movements. Eviscerator shotgun held in one hand, omni blade extended on the other, enemies close to her did not stay standing for long.

_She is beautiful..._

A unit popped up behind her, and Liara instantly held it in a stasis field. Faith stopped for a barely noticeable moment to toss Liara a nod, and she imagined its accompanying smile that sent her heart soaring, before blowing the machine's head off. She ducked down, charging towards another cluster, and Liara shot a unit that was trying to stand following Wrex's barge. The team had fought together for so long it felt as though they had been born to do it. Wrex and Shepard would disrupt the enemy position, forcing them out of cover. Liara and Kaidan would provide light fire and biotic support. Garrus would pick off strategically chosen enemies; those with heavy weapons, or about to get behind one of the closer combatants.

And it was over.

The silence following battle was always deep, but like this, in the vacuum of space, it was absolute. It sent a chill down her spine. The Commander's voice crackled to life through their comms.

'Tali, is this the right place?'

The Quarian summoned her map again.

'Yes, Shepard, if we enter here we have a direct path.'

'Ok, we're going back inside. Eyes sharp people, Saren's down there. The man might be mad and brainwashed, but he's a SPECTRE and damned dangerous.'

* * *

_What has he done to himself?_

Saren was standing before the Council podium, ranting about the necessity of his plan. The rest of her team were engaging the Geth still scattered around the chamber, leaving the SPECTRE to face her primary objective, alone. The Turian was riddled with tech, and glowed blue in the dim emergency lights of the station.

'You don't have to do this, Saren!'

Was it too late? Is there anything left of him underneath all of that tech?

'You'll never understand, Shepard! I'm doing what is necessary for our survival!'

Does he believe that?

_Is he right?_

'Is that you talking, or Sovereign?'

It was a replay of Virmire. Shepard had tried to talk the rogue SPECTRE down, convince him that he was indoctrinated. The stubborn bastard, of course, refused to believe it. What made her think that talking now would make any more of an impression? Why did she not just end it?

_I need to know._

'You know **nothing**! The Reapers are coming, Shepard, you have seen it! And you would stop my plans to save as many as I can?'

'Listen to yourself! _Look _at yourself! You're their slave! I'm here, right now, stopping them! And you're trying to bring them back!'

'It's too late, Shepard.'

_Is he even hearing the words? He must be, otherwise he would make his move! Is there no way I can get through?_

'Too late for what? You to break the indoctrination? Benezia broke it, in her last moments, and helped us!'

'Ben- Benezia was weak! Her devotion to the cause faltered!'

'You **know **that isn't true! What was she to you? A comrade? Friend? _Your lover?'_

Liara... _not now!_

'She was a tool!' His conviction was failing! She could hear it!

'You're not fooling me Saren! She trusted you, and in the end she did the right thing! You can too!'

'It's... it's too late, Shepard.' He repeated, but he sounded weaker... She risked peeking around the stairwell.

Saren looked _broken. _

Shepard had talked with Liara about feeling pity for the man, but at the time it was the kind of pity one felt for a rabid pet... but now...

_He thought he was doing his duty. Just like you do._

He raised his pistol, to his own head.

There was nothing either of them could say.

He squeezed the trigger.

Then... exploded in a haze of red light. Shepard ducked back behind her cover, cursing as the flash blinded her. As her vision began to clear, her team were approaching, apparently having finished clearing the Geth.

'What is going on?' Liara looked concerned.

'I have no idea, he was about to shoot himself... I think I convinced him... but then he just lit up like a damned Christmas Tree!'

'A what?'

I AM SOVEREIGN

She risked another glance over her cover.

Saren had... changed. The previously soft blue tech was glowing an angry red, and Shepard could see how extensive the implants really were as his skin cracked open, revealing angry lines crossing his face.

THE CYCLE WILL CONTINUE

He started glowing brighter, and Shepard watched with horror as his flesh began burning and peeling away, leaving only a metal-reinforced skeleton crackling with red sparks.

THIS STATION IS MINE!

The thing flung itself with amazing speed towards the team, landing with a burst of energy that overloaded shields, sent their weapons into overheat mode and knocked them all of of their feet, before grabbing Shepard by the throat and lifting her from the ground.

She felt the grip tighten, heard her armour cracking, felt the trickles of blood begin to seep down her body...

HUMAN. IMPRESSIVE POTENTIAL FOR-

'Let her go!'

A massive biotic slam hit the creature, nearly toppling it and forcing it to release its grip. It dropped Shepard to the floor and looked towards Liara who was rippling with blue fire.

ASARI. VIABLE CANDIDATES-

'Shut up!' the energy crackling around her filled the air nearby, and with a gesture with both arms the abomination was lifted from the ground and started twisting in on itself. The power the woman had summoned was so intense that Shepard had to roll away as she felt her armour begin to tremble.

She stumbled to her feet and managed to croak the order through her damaged throat:

'Open fire!'

Her weapon had reset, she replaced the thermal clip and she let loose.

The whole team opened fire as Liara held the monster in place, the energy still twisting its limbs into impossible formations.

It resisted the onslaught for several seconds before a horrific noise came from the Reaper outside, shaking the ground they stood on. Shepard had no doubt it was reacting to the punishment they were inflicting on its avatar.

'Keep it up!' She slammed another thermal clip into place, not bothering to wait for the old one to cool.

Most of the bullets were bouncing off of the thing, but Shepard saw that they _were _damaging it; a crater here, a puncture there.

The Reaper let out a final screech that shattered the windows of the Tower, the Mass Effect fields now all that protected them from the vacuum, and the body of what used to be Saren dissolved, bursting with a huge wave of energy that knocked the team from their feet again.

_Saren is dead, mission accomplished..._

She looked up at the enormous Reaper.

_But the battle isn't over yet._

* * *

'Opinions!' Joker had just radioed in; he had returned to Council space after dropping off the Mako, and made contact with the Alliance Fifth Fleet under Admiral Hackett. The attack on the Citadel had put pause to any accusations of treason, it seemed.

After opening the arms of the Citadel, communications had been restored and the Admiral had contacted Shepard, asking what he should do about Sovereign while the Geth tore the Council Fleet apart.

She had stood silent for several seconds before barking out the request, her body language screaming indecision.

Garrus was first to respond.

'The Council's done nothing for us, for you, Shepard. We need those ships to destroy Sovereign!'

It was Kaidan who answered.

'This isn't about personal grudges or vendettas, the Galaxy needs the Council to hold it together when the Reapers come.'

Garrus' mandibles flicked in irritation.

'So what, they can debate some more while the Reapers tear everybody apart?'

'Shepard,' Tali's voice was gentle, as if she were ashamed of what she was saying. 'You would be sacrificing thousands of your people, maybe _dozens_ of your ships and Garrus is right, we need the firepower to destroy Sovereign.'

'Bad leadership is better than no leadership.' Wrex's response surprised them all, and they all stopped their arguing to look at him. 'Ships can be rebuilt, soldiers replaced. I hate the Council as much as anybody, but without leadership, the Galaxy will crumble when faced with extinction, like the Krogan did.'

He folded his arms and fell silent again.

_Two for each..._

**_Commander we need an answer!_**

'Liara?'

_She can't let me decide!_'

'I... agree that we should save our firepower, but...' Faith's dark eyes bored into her. 'This is not just about the Council. The Destiny Ascension alone has ten thousand souls on board... not to mention the rest of the fleet.'

Her gaze softened.

'Of course. You're right; this isn't just about them.'

She touched the comm transmitter on the side of her helmet.

'Admiral, take the heat off the Council ships. Then lead every damned ship against Sovereign, including the Citadel fleet.'

_**Understood Commander.**_

Those deep eyes caught hers again.

'Thank you, Liara.'

There was nothing more they could do. Shepard's team stood gazing out of the Tower as the Human Fleet ravaged the now surrounded Geth, forcing them off of the beleaguered Turian and Asari ships.

It was, just like the sight of the Citadel stretching above them, beautiful in its own way. The ships silently dancing around each other, weapons flaring in flashes of blue and red, was soothing to watch.

But every large flash was the final glow of dozens, maybe hundreds of lives. One of the larger Alliance ships suddenly erupted, and Faith dropped her head.

_She gave the order that cost the humans on board their lives... _

Liara took her hand gently. It was all she could do.

The absolute silence took away from the gravity of what came next. With the Geth beaten, the Alliance and the remnants of the Citadel fleet turned ponderously towards Sovereign, opening with an **enormous** volley of fire.

Sovereign flared as its shields held. Such strength was... unimaginable... but it appeared undamaged. As the fleet unloaded a second volley, two red beams flew from Sovereign. Both struck Alliance cruisers, destroying them with an ease that caused some of the team beside them to gasp. Two ships... both carrying hundreds of crew... destroyed by a single shot. How could they stand against an army of these machines?

The second volley hit the Reaper, some of the shots smashing through its shields and blowing chunks off of it.

Another red lance, slicing through yet another human cruiser. Liara squeezed the hand in hers.

A final silent volley tore the Reaper to pieces. Its legs broke off and fell through the open base of the Citadel, doomed to be swallowed by the star Widow, and its core ruptured, shooting debris in a wide arc across the Citadel.

'Oh Goddess...'

'MOVE!' Shepard's voice carried over the exclamations of all the others.

As one they turned and barrelled down the stairs of the Council Chamber, hearing an ear-splitting tearing of metal behind them as a huge piece of debris ripped into the room, destroying the pillars and walls holding it together, sending shards of metal and wood everywhere. Liara could hear the sounds getting closer and saw a huge girder fly overhead before risking a look back... instantly stumbling, hitting the ground with enough force to drive the wind from her lungs. Shepard was there instantly, hoisting Liara over her shoulder without a moment's hesitation and continuing to run after the others.

They reached the elevator at the back of the room when the horrific noises finally stopped.

They had made it.

'Liara, are you ok?' Shepard had lowered her to the ground and looked at her legs.

'Yes, I just stumbled, I... Goddess... you saved me... thank you Faith.'

X-X

_I bet she is hating this..._

The rebuilding of the Council chamber had not taken long. The rest of the Citadel was still a wreck, but apparently parades and congratulations were more important than getting things fixed.

For nearly two hours a wide variety of dignitaries and other "important" people Shepard had never met, had been taking turns making speeches about how wonderful she was for the benefit of a Galactic audience.

Shepard herself was sitting near the centre of the stage beside Councillor Anderson, her face blank, cutting a very smart figure in her dress uniform. That her face had not changed expression at all spoke to how much fun she was having.

The rest of the crew were sitting further down the line. The Council had wanted to split them up; especially Tali and Wrex, but Shepard had put her foot down at the idea. The last few days had been a constant barrage of hospital trips, interviews, debriefings, accusations, questionings and more, but Shepard had done as much as she could to ensure as much of the attention was away from her team as possible.

The Council had no sooner disembarked the Destiny Ascension than held an emergency meeting to discuss the situation, concluding with humanity being granted a place amongst them. Shepard recommended Captain Anderson for the role; the obvious choice given the imminent war. Udina had spluttered with indignation at the decision but had quietened when a _very _tired Shepard had told him that he was lucky not to have a bullet in his brain for his betrayal.

And now they were Galactic heroes. Just a few days of media reports and announcements had made their names known across the whole Galaxy. Commander Shepard: Saviour of the Citadel, and her multi-species band of heroes.

The woman herself looked less than thrilled as a rather ecstatic Volus invited the woman to make a final speech to the Press.

Her expression did not change as she stood at the podium, looking over the gathered journalists and dignitaries.

'The measure of an individual cannot be judged...'

Liara phased the words out. She had heard the speech dozens of times; Faith deciding that Liara, the daughter of a dignitary, was the best person to practice with. It was a rousing speech about unity in the face of adversity, just what the Galaxy needs at a time of strife. It was also, to use the woman's rather colourful expression, "boring as shit". The Council had done all they could to stop her from mentioning the Reapers.

The Council had been so quick to bury Shepard's warnings. "It will cause Galactic panic", they said. "We need to think about the bigger picture." Was there a picture any bigger than imminent Galactic extinction?

And where did this leave Shepard, and Liara? Shepard's prediction was right; the Alliance wanted her on Earth to ensure she knew what was expected of her as humanity's first SPECTRE, and the Council wanted her for several months of advanced training. They had not yet talked about where Liara would fit in all of this but she expected neither group would be happy having her around. Several universities had already gotten in touch with her about an expedition to Ilos, but she was more surprised to hear from more than one influential Asari that they were not convinced by the Council's reassurances about the Reapers. Despite her mother's betrayal, the T'Soni name still held a lot of power and they wanted to know if there was any credence to the threat.

She had yet to follow up on any of the correspondence, but it was reassuring to know that she had several paths ahead of her should she not stay at Shepard's side. Perhaps a few months apart would do them well; aside from practising speeches the two had barely spoken, and when they did it was clear they were both awkwardly avoiding what had happened before Ilos. She wondered sadly if it would ever be the same between them.

The sound of rapturous applause drew Liara back to the present. Shepard must have finished her speech. She looked towards the woman, and was surprised to see that she was looking directly at Liara, with a very worryingly mischievous glint in her eye. She winked, the motion barely perceptible but definitely not imagined. She raised a hand for silence. Breaking her parade rest, she leant forward and gripped the podium, looking intently at the gathered cameras.

'The attack by Sovereign showed us that we are not invincible.'

The muttering amongst the audience ceased at the words.

'Believe what you wish about the origin of that dreadnought, it showed us that we are _not_ prepared for an attack on the Galactic community as a whole.

'But we can be. The assault on the Citadel was repelled by an alliance of Turian, Asari, Quarian, Krogan and Human. While others bickered, individuals from species both welcomed and shunned by the Galactic community banded together to do something amazing._ I_ believe Sovereign was a vanguard for a fleet of ships just like it. Could we defend ourselves against five ships like that? A dozen? _Hundreds? _Could we put aside petty differences in the name of survival?

'We _have_ to. For our own sake.'

As Faith Shepard strode away, the gathered audience stayed in bemused silence, before erupting in questions to the Council, to Shepard, to her team, to anybody willing to listen. As Shepard walked past the team, Liara and the others stood and followed her.

They had work to do.

* * *

**_A/N:_ **_I want to thank you all for reading my story. It has been an incredibly enjoyable experience to write, and the feedback I have received is nothing short of amazing._

_I will begin writing the second instalment over the weekend, I hope you are all looking forward to reading it as much as I am writing!_

_Feedback on this chapter and the epilogue will be very much appreciated; it was incredibly difficult to know when to draw the line!_


	15. Epilogue

_Three months..._

Three months had passed after Shepard's dramatic announcement to the media. The woman herself had been whisked back to Earth by the Alliance, before the Council had pulled rank and put her through their intensive SPECTRE training.

They had only spoken once before being split up. Faith had reassured Liara that they would find a way to work together to fight the Reapers, but for now she had to indulge the politicians she would need on her side. They did not talk about their relationship.

So Liara had left. She had agreed to accompany the Ilos expedition as an expert adviser (the title still both amused and depressed her; one battle was enough to do what half a century of solid research could not), but after finding that the last of the planet's power had died with the Conduit's final activation, she spent most of her time with her information networks.

It had begun with tentative contacts to several powerful Asari, who paid attention to her both by virtue of the T'Soni name and her association with Shepard at the battle of the Citadel. It had not taken her long to realise that influence might be more important in the upcoming war than pure might. There was enormous strength in the Galaxy, but much of it lay behind reluctant individuals who might need 'persuasion' to share it for the greater good.

She had already convinced several of the rich families to begin emergency provisions; hardening communication lines, stockpiling resources and bringing acolytes in from their travels for military training. It was not much, but for such a short amount of time she felt she had accomplished a good deal.

In doing so, she had begun to build a network of suppliers and contacts; those who could put her in touch with the right people to get things done. The work was absolutely invigorating; she was making such a _difference_, and the concept of doing it all from the shadows appealed to her. Her previous studies, digging for clues about an extinction she now knew the truth of, had given her the necessary patience and deduction for her work but the sheer thrill of knowing a piece of information that could make or break a family could not be matched.

The thought worried her. She hoped she still had something of an intact moral compass, but she knew that what she had planned would end up causing a lot of trouble. The Asari were very tribal; aside from their presence in the Citadel Council they had little resembling a unified government. Liara planned to take steps to bring the powerful families closer together; to share militaries, bloodlines, supplies and more. Unity would be needed when the Reapers came. She knew many would oppose this, and it was likely there would be blood spilled before the end.

But that was something she would deal with as it came. And, with any luck, she could do it with a friend. She had been in touch with Faith, exchanging mails when they had the time, and the woman had recently been released from the Citadel with the command of the Normandy, with the brief to scout the Traverse for further Geth activity. They both knew it was a nothing job, designed to keep her out of trouble for a few months, but it also gave her a lot of room to begin manoeuvring against the Reapers.

Tali had returned to her people, and Wrex to his. She had kept in touch with Tali; her pilgrimage gift, as well as her status as a member of Shepard's crew, had guaranteed her a hero's welcome and a place on one of the Quarian's greatest ships. She was doing what she could to prepare the Galaxy's biggest fleet for large scale war, using the Geth as an argument to begin arming up, while subtly discouraging actual war with them. Wrex had been silent; due in no small part to Tuchanka's woeful technological state, but a contact there had reported that he had already fought his way to the head of clan Urdnot and was preparing to bring the other clans together, just like she was.

She had not heard a lot from Garrus or Kaidan, only that the former had applied for SPECTRE training, and the latter had been poached from Shepard's crew by the Alliance, so both were no doubt restricted from open contact.

But Shepard had sent the message of her life not a week ago. She wanted Liara back. On the Normandy. She would be on Ilos to pick her up in less than a day.

* * *

_Three months..._

Three months of endless debriefings, of lectures, of training so intense it put her N7 program to shame.

Faith Shepard missed her friends.

The feeling was... strange. Her military career had seemed fulfilling to her at the time, but considering her distant attitude after Mindoir, and her reputation after Torfan, she had never known anybody she could simply call a friend. But her time chasing Saren had changed her, and during her training she had felt a deep longing for the companionship of the Normandy.

When she had been pummelled by biotic attacks for five hours straight, learning the proper way to defend against them, she missed how Garrus would have joked about going another round.

When she had been sat in front of a panel of politicians ranting at her about killing the Rachni, she missed how Wrex would have _reminded _them that she was only finishing a job they were too incompetent to do themselves.

When she had been struggling at the advanced hacking training, she missed how Tali would have let out her lilting chuckle and shown her some shortcut she had worked out.

When she was angry after a day of grilling by dignitaries who seemed to be shouting at her for the sake of shouting, she missed how Kaidan would give a measured opinion, explaining their point of view, making the process seem a little less pointless.

She missed Ashley. She had met with the soldier's mother and sisters on Earth, telling them how bravely she had died, how she had done the Williams name proud.

Most of all, after a days' gruelling work, physical or otherwise, she missed Liara. How she would just sit with the Asari, enjoying her presence, sometimes talking, sometimes in silence. She missed the peace she felt, the happiness when she gave the Asari a gift, the enthusiasm when she started talking about a topic she found interesting.

Their messaging had been sadly brief; neither person's schedule allowing time for drawn out correspondence. But Shepard had finally been sent from the Citadel, to investigate reports of unusual goings on across the borders with the Terminus systems. The Council suspected Geth, and while Shepard was loath to be their guard dog, she also knew that the Geth were probably the best place to start in their efforts against the Reapers.

But before she began her work in earnest, she was collecting Liara. The Asari had led the archaeological expedition to Ilos, but her messages gave the impression that she had not actually been involved in the dig, instead pursuing her own ideas on the best way to prepare for the Reapers.

They would be on Ilos in less than a day.

_**Brace for evasive manoeuvres! **_

Joker's voice rang throughout the ship accompanied by flashing warning red lights.

_Attack!_

All of Shepard's emotions were stowed away as she moved automatically, crossing to the armour locker in her cabin and beginning to suit up swiftly. An enormous crash and the Normandy tilted to one side, they must have been hit.

_I thought we were running in stealth! Just check out the distress call, they said..._

She finished arming herself, the ship's siren telling her that they had been exposed to the vacuum. She chose her full face mask, and instantly got in touch with the bridge.

'Joker, what's going on?'

'Shepard! We're under attack, enemy cruiser, no known signature, they can see right through our stealth!'

'Damage report!'

One of the co-pilots responded, Joker apparently too busy.

'It's bad, sir! Their first shot was some kind of beam, it cut straight through one of our wings, we're barely keeping the Normandy stable!'

The only ship she knew with power like that was Sovereign...

She activated the emergency channel.

'**Abandon ship!** We're outmatched and hobbled!'

Joker again: 'Negative, I can still save her!'

'Dammit Joker!'

The stubborn fool was going to get himself killed. She vacated her cabin and saw a nightmare. The mess was burning, fire flooding in from an unknown location. The emergency lights danced red against the walls, and one of the operations crew was lying on the floor, head split open by what appeared to be a fall onto the table. Another blow shook the Normandy, and she heard a crashing from the direction of the stairs.

Doctor Chakwas ran out of the medical bay, only for Shepard to grab her arm.

'Get to the escape pods!'

'But Joker...'

'I'll get him! Now get out!'

'I... yes Commander, good luck!'

She ran to the stairs up to the CIC, having to turn back as the starboard flight was blocked by debris that had fallen down from the ceiling.

_Dammit, I __**will **__see Liara again!_

As the door to the CIC opened, she felt the air behind of her sucked out, only a swift activation of her magnetic boots stopping her from flying through the gaping hole above her.

_Oh god..._

Almost the entire canopy of the Normandy had been torn off. Pressley's body, nearly unidentifiable underneath extreme burns, floated past in a grotesquely serene manner.

_Move soldier!_

Carefully planting her feet, she walked towards the bridge where she could see Joker's frantic movements behind a localised mass effect field. As she approached, Chakwas' voice filled her ears.

'Commander, we have evacuated as many as possible, only Joker and yourself are left on board!'

'Good, get out of here Karin! We'll use the pilot's escape pod.'

'Aye aye Commander.'

She reached the bridge. She knew Joker, how he responded to adversity. Her words were carefully chosen, not an order.

'Joker, the Normandy is dead, going down with her won't make the sacrifice any more worthwhile.'

'I... ok. Let's-'

He glanced back at the monitor.

'Oh god, they're coming around again!'

'Move!'

They rushed back to the small escape pod by the airlock, Shepard practically manhandling the man.

'Hey, watch the arm!'

'Get in there!'

She shoved him in, and was about to follow when an explosion threw her backwards, and a beam of yellow fire cut in front of her, heading towards the escape pod. Joker would be dead in seconds. Without thinking, she slammed the external release and the pod's doors shut, ejecting just before the beam tore through the space it was occupying. Another explosion sent her flying backwards, away from the wreckage of the Normandy.

Shooting a person-sized target in space was practically impossible, and her suit had a few hours of oxygen. Perhaps she would be rescued before then, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

She floated for several seconds before the horizon of the planet Alchera came into view. It was a beautiful sight, as blue as Liara's eyes.

Her mind was curiously detached about the whole situation. The Normandy was lost to an enemy with what was almost certainly Reaper technology, but that was a problem for another time. Right now... she felt relaxed, the deep blue of the planet calming her troubles. Everything seemed so simple, as she floated through the vacuum, Alchera gazing at her like Liara did.

She felt more than heard the final detonation of the Normandy behind her. She would miss the-

_Oh no._

The telltale hiss snapped her mind back to her predicament. Her suit was ruptured. Behind... she tried reaching around, but had no way of knowing where the breach was. She quickly calculated... oxygen leaking at the rate it is...

_No no no no!_

She felt her throat tighten, trying to suck in air that was not there. Her eyes started to water, and she let out a silent scream as her lungs began to burn.

_Not like this!_

Her vision started fading, and the strength leeched from her muscles.

_I... still... have to..._

Her final thoughts were of Liara, coming to her cabin before they reached Ilos. Faith had turned her away.

"_I am sorry"_

Why had Liara said that? What did she...

"_I am sorry"_

She forced her eyes open a final time, and looked into the brilliant blue beneath her. She could hear the voice... see her eyes...

"_I am sorry..."_


End file.
